silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

[jgpaiva]

4. Is already part of the Apple philosophy

-rgdot (September 10, 2012, 08:59 AM)

Not really, they are just incapable of making (buying?) decent CD burners and decided to say "it's the future" not tu use them
Just yesterday, my MacBook destroyed me 4 CDs (while attempting to burn linux, actually. maybe it's selective?)

[40hz]

4. Is already part of the Apple philosophy

-rgdot (September 10, 2012, 08:59 AM)

Not really, they are just incapable of making (buying?) decent CD burners and decided to say "it's the future" not tu use them
Just yesterday, my MacBook destroyed me 4 CDs (while attempting to burn linux, actually. maybe it's selective?)

-jgpaiva (September 10, 2012, 10:04 AM)

I'm thinking it's more that Apple is opposed to physical media in any way shape or form since "hardcopy" flies in the face of the app store and iTunes business model, which is only release via download. They've even extended that to OS X upgrades starting with Lion.

Why? Because you can't completely control CDs or DVDs. They can be passed around. Sold. Loaned out to friends. Duplicated!!! (And the raw media is cheap too.)

So physical media is not a good thing when you're as fanatic a control freak as Apple is. And one way to get rid of CDs or DVDs is to eliminate the devices that can read and write them.
 

[Renegade]

Unintentionally hilarious moments in the world of Linux.

...

Note: This one has GOT to be a complete put-on. At least I hope it is.

-40hz (September 10, 2012, 06:25 AM)

Hello Angela,

Please never have children.

Thank you,

The sane portion of the computing world.

But seriously -- I want a tablet computer that has all the power of my desktop that I can plug into an ARRAY of monitors and other peripherals. I want my computer to be portable. Right now, it isn't. And it sounds like a bloody helicopter!

[40hz]

But seriously -- I want a tablet computer that has all the power of my desktop that I can plug into an ARRAY of monitors and other peripherals. I want my computer to be portable.

-Renegade (September 10, 2012, 11:21 AM)

I don't. I want to be like the Krell. I wish to be liberated from all instrumentalities. (I want to be a god!) Bwaa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!

[IainB]

Spotted on the Readers' Digest website:

[mouser]

 

[Giampy]

A spermatozoon: "Are the ovaries still far?"
Other spermatozoon: "Oh yes, we have crossed the tonsils just now..."

[Renegade]

Anonymous annouces upcoming US election votes:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!

[TaoPhoenix]

Okay, here's a topic I'll Ask Twice even though it would Only Work Once. (Note 1)

I believe in all serious that in one election soon we'll get a viral Who-Will-You-Vote-For mechanism, and then the voters can Throw All The ******ers out. (Insert your favorite word there, extra stars if you need them!)

The problem with Anonymous is they're Chaotic Neutral, so they're just as likely to pull it with a Joke Candidate. However I'm interested in who we'd pick for real. So if you could get a Viral Wave (without statistical artifact problems, foreign hackers, etc.) who would you vote in as A, Joke Candidate and B, Real Candidate?

Note 1: It would work only once, because the Powers That Be can't have the little Sheeple actually thinking about their politics and working together now, can they? So we might beat them once, out of surprise because they don't think we can do it yet. (And we can't, for 2012.) But once we do succeed in doing it, they'll rush to pass laws to prevent it ever again.

Note 2: (Parody of news story) "Today, the nation got a shock, and one person is very, very confused. It appears we have Cody for President. 'Who is Cody' you are asking? It might be better to start with 'What is Cody?'. It appears that Cody is the fictional mascot of a software site, of species unknown, though one early guess puts him in the same family as the mallards. The creator of the software site, who has not yet given permission to be named in this story, is very, very confused. 'Why me? Why my site? Why my mascot?'

Meanwhile, the Supreme Court has convened an emergency session to figure out what the legal implications are of the will of the people to being ruled by a fictional character. Disney has submitted an Amicus brief on the subject."

[Renegade]

For the cute factor:



For the puzzle factor (it's called a "rebus"):

[Edvard]

[Renegade]

I have NO idea what thread to put this in, but it's funny as hell, so... it's going here. (Well, I found it funny anyways.)

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

[IainB]

Beginner’s Guide to Police Harassment
Vol.46 No.8 | NZPA | Sat September 1st, 2012

A North Island police station received this question from a resident through the feedback section of a local Police website:

“I would like to know how it is possible for police officers to continually harass people and get away with it?”

In response, a sergeant posted this reply:

First of all, let me tell you this ... it’s not easy. In the Palmerston North and rural area we average one cop for every 505 people. Only about 60 per cent of those cops are on general duty (or what you might refer to as “general patrols”) where we do most of our harassing.

The rest are in non-harassing units that do not allow them contact with the day to day innocents. At any given moment, only one-fifth of the 60 per cent of general patrols are on duty and available for harassing people while the rest are off duty. So, roughly, one cop is responsible for harassing about 6000 residents.

When you toss in the commercial business and tourist locations that attract people from other areas, sometimes you have a situation where a single cop is responsible for harassing 15,000 or more people a day.

Now, your average eight-hour shift runs 28,800 seconds long. This gives a cop two-thirds of a second to harass a person, and then only another third of a second to drink a Massey iced coffee AND then find a new person to harass. This is not an easy task. To be honest, most cops are not up to the challenge day in and day out. It is just too tiring. What we do is utilise some tools to help us narrow down those people we can realistically harass.

PHONE: People will call us up and point out things that cause us to focus on a person for special harassment. “My neighbour is beating his wife” is a code phrase used often. This means we’ll come out and give somebody some special harassment. Another popular one is, “There’s a guy breaking into a house.” The harassment team is then put into action.

CARS: We have special cops assigned to harass people who drive. They like to harass the drivers of fast cars, cars with no insurance or drivers with no licences and the like. It’s lots of fun when you pick them out of traffic for nothing more obvious than running a red light.  Sometimes you get to really heap the harassment on when you find they have drugs in the car, they are drunk, or have an outstanding warrant on file.

LAWS: When we don’t have phone or cars, and have nothing better to do, there are actually books that give us ideas for reasons to harass folks. They are called “statutes”. These include the Crimes Act, Summary Offences Act, Land Transport Act and a whole bunch of others... They spell out all sorts of things for which you can really mess with people. After you read the law, you can just drive around for a while until you find someone violating one of these listed offences and harass them. Just last week I saw a guy trying to steal a car. Well, the book says that’s not allowed. That meant I had permission to harass this guy.

It is a really cool system that we have set up, and it works pretty well. We seem to have a never-ending supply of folks to harass. And we get away with it. Why? Because, for the good citizens who pay the tab, we try to keep the streets safe for them, and they pay us to “harass” some people.

Next time you are in Palmerston North, give me the old “single finger wave”. That’s another one of those codes. It means, “You can harass me.” It’s one of our favourites.

[Renegade]

Beginner’s Guide to Police Harassment
Vol.46 No.8 | NZPA | Sat September 1st, 2012
...

-IainB (September 17, 2012, 07:26 AM)

Hahahahah~! Very cute!

Too bad that I can't go a day without reading about police abuse of power. Heck, an activist from Copblock.org was shot several times by the police the other day.

On the topic of police abuse of power... this is a true story that I got from an ex-police officer who knows the department...

There's a small town somewhere in North America (I'll leave it at that), where when the police have a hard time interrogating someone for a crime, they get a guy to dress up in a big pink bunny costume, go into the interrogation room, beat the shit out of the guy, then leave. The police then go back into the room, usually to a ready confession. After all, who would believe, "The cops left the room, then this big pink bunny came in, beat the shit out of me, and left."

[TaoPhoenix]

That's Epic Iain!

[IainB]

Apology to Australian Aborigines
On 13th Feb. 2008, the first piece of business for the then newly-elected government of Prime Minister Kevin Rudd was to open opened a new chapter in Australia's tortured relations with its indigenous peoples with a comprehensive and moving apology for past wrongs and a call for bipartisan action to improve the lives of Australia's Aborigines and Torres Strait Islanders.
Just for fun, someone made a video clip of a very moving response from the Aborigines - Aboriginal apology to white Australia.

This vid clip had previously been on YouTube: http://www.youtube.c.../watch?v=US32todWY6Q
- but it now says there that it has been removed as "hate speech".
I don't understand that. It is parody and very funny too, though perhaps not "politically correct".
I guess the YouTube censors have been at it again.

[Renegade]

> Apology to Australian Aborigines

I could make out some of it, but the audio quality has been degraded so much that much is muffled.

PC silliness is simply rampant. Here's something so utterly non-PC and so utterly insane that it's just hysterically funny:

http://www.reuters.c...dUSSYD34010520080213

* 1967 - Australians overwhelmingly vote to change the constitution to give Aborigines full citizenship rights, and allow parliament to make laws to benefit aboriginal people. Previously, Aborigines were governed under flora and fauna laws.

i.e. They were "plants/animals" before. 

[Fred Nerd]

Please, can I be declassified as Flora/Fauna?
Its considered cruelty to make a dog work for his food/water/shelter/love. I want to be that dog.

[IainB]

Please, can I be declassified as Flora/Fauna?...

-Fred Nerd (September 18, 2012, 02:08 AM)

Be careful what you wish for. You might be reclassified as a fungus or a yeast, or something. That'd be no kind of life for a dog.

[IainB]

...I could make out some of it, but the audio quality has been degraded so much that much is muffled...

-Renegade (September 17, 2012, 08:58 PM)

Actually, the sound seems - as it always was in this clip - relatively clear, but the speaker is sometimes muttering in an Aboriginal dialect of Aussie English. I can make out almost every word, but am constrained in my understanding by being unfamiliar with some of the Aussie vernacular.
By the way, if you watched it using VLC (as I did), don't have the volume turned above 100% because, if you do, then it will introduce noise/clipping making the speech less discernible as speech.

I think it's really a very clever piece. In response to the Aussie PM's apology, the Abo starts off apologising to white Aussies for all his and his people's failings, but gets only so far before he then questions why he's apologising, and then ends up telling them all to "F off" in no uncertain terms. Prodigious use of the F-word.
I loved it. Real LOL material. Had me in stitches. Maybe not everyone's cup of tea. Maybe you need to be an Australasian to best appreciate the humour.

[Renegade]

100% don't like being bombed~! hahahahaha~!

[IainB]

@Renegade: Reminds me of this from The Old Grey Whistle Test (1972).
Superb lyrics.

[Renegade]

@Renegade: Reminds me of this from The Old Grey Whistle Test (1972).
Superb lyrics.

-IainB (September 19, 2012, 06:13 AM)

 

[Stoic Joker]

This week being a complete nightmare, after reading ^that^ I now have to ram a fork through one of my testicles in the hopes that I will wake up screaming.

[cmpm]

poetry slam

http://www.youtube.c.../watch?v=M6wJl37N9C0