topbanner_forum
  *

avatar image

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
  • Saturday April 4, 2026, 4:51 am
  • Proudly celebrating 15+ years online.
  • Donate now to become a lifetime supporting member of the site and get a non-expiring license key for all of our programs.
  • donate

Last post Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]  (Read 5704995 times)

IainB

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 7,544
  • @Slartibartfarst
    • View Profile
    • Read more about this member.
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! - Wear sunscreen?
« Reply #5675 on: December 20, 2018, 10:00 AM »
There is a super movie I watched the other day: About Time (2013) (SF drama re love and time travel.1080p.BRx264) 5 Stars - that's my rating.
There's quite a lot of humour in the movie.
In it, there is reference to a "song: by Baz Luhrmann - "Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen".


This song is referred to in the movie "About Time" thus:
Narrator: "There's a song by Baz Luhrmann called Sunscreen. He says that worrying about the future is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum."
________________________________
The song is a series of spoken jokes, and the last line of the song - "But trust me on the sunscreen." - led me to suspect that the author's "advice" to wear sunscreen may have been tongue-in-cheek as just so much more "bad advice", sunlight in fact being not a toxin but a natural "food" for our skin as it causes the skin to produce vitamin D3 - which is used in calcium metabolisation to build/strengthen bones and is also thought to help prevent cancer (just avoid getting sunburn).
In the UK, rickets in children was common in the gloomy/cloudy North of England until the doctors discovered that it was an epidemiological factor - the children simply weren't being exposed to enough sun - so they were given vitamin D3 supplements and the problem went away.

However, wearing sunscreen IS recognised as being good:
  • (a) for "Cancer charities", who receive funding from sunscreen producers whose products they endorse/promote.    :Thmbsup:
  • (b) for the sunscreen manufacturers, as it is a profitable product which they don't have to prove actually prevents sunburn, and consumer association tests apparently indicate that many brands do just that (nothing), and that the chemicals in sunscreen may be harmful/detrimental to human health, commonly causing allergy/irritation and some are even thought to be carcinogenic risk factors.   :o

The "song" is just the narration of a slightly updated ("Class of 99") recitation of the following rather amusing essay, put to music:
Essay title: Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young.
Date: June 1st 1997 ( 1997-06-01)
Author: Mary Schmich, a columnist with the Chicago Tribune
Source: https://www.chicagot...n-column-column.html
It's an amusing essay and worth a read.
(essay in the spoiler below)
Spoiler
Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.

I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.
______________________________



IainB

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 7,544
  • @Slartibartfarst
    • View Profile
    • Read more about this member.
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! - Fallout 4 Broadsider.
« Reply #5676 on: December 20, 2018, 10:24 AM »
I was playing Fallout 4 the other night for a bit of R&R (no, really, I find it very relaxing), and spotted this bit of sardonic Bethesda humour that came up whilst a fresh level of the game was loading (the image was draggable and rotatable):

21_1189x535_7392FF7C.pngsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Caption:
VDSG Catalogue No.9708
The Broadsider is the answer to that age-old question  "Would it be
fun to walk around and shoot people with a portable naval cannon?"

Yes. Yes it would.
So I looked it up, and found this (more humour):
From: http://fallout.wikia...roadsider_(Fallout_4)
  • The term "broadsiding," or "firing broadside," is a naval term, referring to firing all the cannons (in jargon referred to as 'guns') that can be pointed to one side of a ship, all at the same time.

  • The marking on this cannon is the Royal Cypher of King George III, who was born in 1738 and reigned from 1760 to 1820. There appears to be a date on the first reinforcing ring above the cypher which shows the year 1820. King George III died in January 1820, meaning that this cannon was cast in the foundry during that month. The second reinforcing ring above the cypher is illegible but the info on that ring might state the weight and inspector's mark. There is no historical reason for a British cannon from 1820 to be aboard the U.S.S. Constitution, so it is safe to assume that it came with the robots.

panzer

  • Participant
  • Joined in 2008
  • *
  • default avatar
  • Posts: 941
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5677 on: December 24, 2018, 03:30 AM »
On a certain winter morning in Michigan, where the lakes freeze such that you can actually drive on the lake, an old timer went ice-fishing. He went at eleven o’clock in the morning, cut a small hole and sat down with a crate of beer next to him ­– because it is a patience game. He put the line in and sat down, sipping beer, sipping beer, sipping beer. The day went by. By four o’clock in the evening, he still had not caught a single fish.

Evening, four o’clock, one young boy came, with a big stereo on his shoulders and rap music blaring. He also cut a hole close by and sat down to fish – with the stereo blaring. This man looked at him and thought, “I have been sitting here quietly since morning, and I haven’t landed one fish. The fool comes now with a stereo blaring and he hopes to catch fish. Ha! No fool like a young fool.” And to his amazement within ten minutes the boy landed a huge trout. He shook his head and looked at it, then he said, “Okay, flash in the pan,” dismissed him and again focused on his fishing. Another ten minutes later, the boy landed one more trout.

Now he could not ignore him. With great desperation he just looked at him. “What is happening? I have been sitting here for the whole day and not caught a single fish. In twenty minutes, the boy has got two.” And to his utter amazement, in another ten minutes, the boy landed one more trout. Now he could not hold back any more. He kept his pride aside, slowly walked to the young boy and asked, “See, I have been sitting here the whole day not making a single sound, and I haven’t landed a single fish. I see in thirty minutes you have three trout in your basket. What is the secret of this?” The boy said, “Ru Ra Ra Ra Ru Ra Rum.” He said, “What?” The boy repeated, “Ru Ra Ra, Ra Ru Ra Rum.” The man said, “I don’t understand what you are saying.” The boy spat out a blob of something into his hands and said, “You have to keep the worms warm.”

panzer

  • Participant
  • Joined in 2008
  • *
  • default avatar
  • Posts: 941
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5678 on: December 24, 2018, 03:30 AM »
There was a new lawyer. It was his first case. He is very enthusiastic; he really wants to do his best. He lost the case. Then he went to meet his client who was in custody. He went and told him, “I have good news and bad news for you. Which do you want first?” The man said, “Okay, give me the bad news first.” So the lawyer said, “You have been sentenced to death.” Then the man asked, “What the hell can be good news after this?” The lawyer said, “I really fought hard and got the voltage reduced for you.”

panzer

  • Participant
  • Joined in 2008
  • *
  • default avatar
  • Posts: 941
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5679 on: December 24, 2018, 03:31 AM »



Arizona Hot

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2007
  • **
  • Posts: 3,195
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5680 on: December 27, 2018, 03:01 AM »
If Guns Kill People T-Shirt 2nd Amendment Gun Rights.jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

If Guns Kill People T-Shirt 2nd Amendment Gun Rights

Shades

  • Member
  • Joined in 2006
  • **
  • Posts: 2,952
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5681 on: December 27, 2018, 05:43 AM »
[ Invalid Attachment ]

If Guns Kill People T-Shirt 2nd Amendment Gun Rights

Should the 'I guess' on the shirt not be replaced with 'I'll guess'?

T-SHRTS make spelling grammar mistakes.  :P

4wd

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2006
  • **
  • Posts: 5,651
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5682 on: December 27, 2018, 07:35 AM »
Should the 'I guess' on the shirt not be replaced with 'I'll guess'?

T-SHRTS make spelling grammar mistakes.  :P

So do forums apparently.

IainB

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 7,544
  • @Slartibartfarst
    • View Profile
    • Read more about this member.
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5683 on: December 27, 2018, 04:13 PM »
^^ No, the 1st person (present tense) of the verb "to guess" would do fine for this context, and I know what I'm talking about, as you will be able to see from my profile.

IainB

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 7,544
  • @Slartibartfarst
    • View Profile
    • Read more about this member.
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5684 on: December 27, 2018, 04:49 PM »
@Arizona Hot: Just to let you know that, after I showed her your post about the "If guns kill people" T-shirt slogan, my 17 y/o daughter now plans to buy one online. She's a member of the local school ABB (Anti-Bullsh#t Brigade) - as am I - an advocate of womens' rights, a budding scientist (studying molecular biology) and an advocate of critical thinking, and of the Austrian School of Economics, and the Westminster model of democracy. She is already a proud owner of a MAGA hat -  which goes everywhere with her (most recently to Japan), though I'm not sure whether it means much to the Kiwis or Japanese who see it.

IainB

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 7,544
  • @Slartibartfarst
    • View Profile
    • Read more about this member.
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! - BBC TV Christmas 2018 Programme Scheduling.
« Reply #5685 on: December 27, 2018, 08:46 PM »
There's a rather amusing video clip from LBC with a presenter called Nick Ferrari who is taking a detailed look through the BBC TV Christmas program scheduling - which scheduling appears to be chock full of repeats with little if any original content. (The BBC is paid a shedload of tax to meet its mandate to spend the taxpayer's money wisely - including on sponsoring lots of original UK content.)
I couldn't find a link to the video clip on the LBC website, but you can see it on the page where I originally found it at TV Licensing

I don't think I'd heard Nick Ferrari before, but I found his factual, methodical, blow-by-blow account of the scheduling quite amusing. (I was also quite surprised as I hadn't realised the BBC still produced such rubbish nowadays.)

wraith808

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2006
  • **
  • default avatar
  • Posts: 11,201
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5686 on: December 28, 2018, 11:04 PM »


That goat had impeccable timing!

cranioscopical

  • Friend of the Site
  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2006
  • **
  • Posts: 4,776
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5687 on: December 29, 2018, 04:42 AM »
That goat had impeccable timing!
You're kidding!

Stoic Joker

  • Honorary Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 6,649
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5688 on: December 29, 2018, 08:14 AM »
That goat had impeccable timing!
You're kidding!
-cranioscopical (December 29, 2018, 04:42 AM)

He went rama-lamba-ding-dong.

Target

  • Honorary Member
  • Joined in 2006
  • **
  • Posts: 1,836
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5689 on: December 30, 2018, 04:12 AM »
That goat had impeccable timing!
You're kidding!
-cranioscopical (December 29, 2018, 04:42 AM)

He went rama-lamba-ding-dong.

ewe guys...

app103

  • That scary taskbar girl
  • Global Moderator
  • Joined in 2006
  • *****
  • Posts: 5,888
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5690 on: December 30, 2018, 04:22 AM »
That goat had impeccable timing!
You're kidding!
-cranioscopical (December 29, 2018, 04:42 AM)

He went rama-lamba-ding-dong.

ewe guys...

...are baaaaaad!

Shades

  • Member
  • Joined in 2006
  • **
  • Posts: 2,952
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5691 on: December 30, 2018, 08:12 AM »
A piledriver rammed home...

Arizona Hot

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2007
  • **
  • Posts: 3,195
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5692 on: December 30, 2018, 10:14 PM »
The tooth fairy was a little drunk last night.jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]    Best Way To Distract Your Opponent.jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

The tooth fairy was a little drunk last night
Best Way To Distract Your Opponent

IainB

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 7,544
  • @Slartibartfarst
    • View Profile
    • Read more about this member.
    • Donate to Member
Is this a joke or (more likely) a minor bug?
Happens when I mouseover the Quick Reply panel in Slimjet:

03_997x656_D0759ACA.pngsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

IainB

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 7,544
  • @Slartibartfarst
    • View Profile
    • Read more about this member.
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! Fallout4 --> Fallout76 - RIP Console mode.
« Reply #5694 on: January 03, 2019, 12:27 AM »
Fallout4 --> Fallout76 - RIP Console mode:
_________________________________
In Fallout 76, what I'll miss most is cheating my damn ass off. ...
...But most of all, more than anything else, I'll miss my console cheats. Goodbye old friends. When I'm 100 hours into Fallout 76 and some little repetitive task has become too bothersome to perform, I'll tap the tilde key in my heart and think of you.

 - Christopher Livingston, October 25, 2018. <https://www.pcgamer.com/in-fallout-76-what-ill-miss-most-is-cheating-my-damn-ass-off//>
__________________________

03_1181x680_1ADF499A.pngsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

I can empathise with this.

Arizona Hot

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2007
  • **
  • Posts: 3,195
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5695 on: January 17, 2019, 01:13 PM »
Rake decoration for fall.jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]    Young Couple Playing In Leaves While Raking The Yard stock.jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Rake on through to the other side.

Rake decoration for fall

Raking up is very hard to do.

Young Couple Playing In Leaves While Raking The Yard stock
« Last Edit: January 17, 2019, 01:24 PM by Arizona Hot »

Deozaan

  • Charter Member
  • Joined in 2006
  • ***
  • Points: 1
  • Posts: 9,820
    • View Profile
    • Read more about this member.
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5696 on: January 17, 2019, 03:24 PM »
Could someone please explain the joke/humor of the rake and the stock photo? :huh:

Arizona Hot

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2007
  • **
  • Posts: 3,195
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5697 on: January 18, 2019, 02:13 AM »
ould someone please explain the joke/humor of the rake and the stock photo?

These screenshots are from Wikipedia, Go there to find out more about the songs.    Break on through.jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]    Breaking up is hard.jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Maestr0

  • Participant
  • Joined in 2010
  • *
  • Posts: 30
    • View Profile
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5698 on: January 18, 2019, 02:09 PM »
50527328_2011983042230959_8986023296445186048_o[1].jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

IainB

  • Supporting Member
  • Joined in 2008
  • **
  • Posts: 7,544
  • @Slartibartfarst
    • View Profile
    • Read more about this member.
    • Donate to Member
Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #5699 on: January 18, 2019, 03:12 PM »
Interesting: China becomes first country to Germinate a Seed on the Moon
Apparently it's a beansprout, and is the first step in an ambitious and well-thought-out longer-term strategic plan for yet another "first" and moon-breaking record - the opening of the first Lunar Chinese take-away, reportedly to be named the Golden Mao Moon.
Initial reports say that, due to the moon's low gravity, all the items on the menu are to be designated "diet lite", though I personally consider that might be stretching the trade descriptions a bit much, even though Chinese food isn't generally considered to be fattening.
“That's one small step for a beansprout, one giant leap for mankind” - Chinese astronaut and lead chef/food advisor to the successful Chinese lunar mission.