Programming/Coder humor

[Edvard]

Best StackOverflow answer.  Ever.

http://stackoverflow.com/questions/1732348/regex-match-open-tags-except-xhtml-self-contained-tags

[Renegade]

Best StackOverflow answer.  Ever.

http://stackoverflow.com/questions/1732348/regex-match-open-tags-except-xhtml-self-contained-tags

Oh my god... that was BEAUTIFUL~! EPIC~!

[MilesAhead]

Best StackOverflow answer.  Ever.

http://stackoverflow.com/questions/1732348/regex-match-open-tags-except-xhtml-self-contained-tags

Oh my god... that was BEAUTIFUL~! EPIC~!

That thread makes me think of this sig

"Some people, when confronted with a problem, think I know, I'll use regular expressions.
Now they have two problems."

- Jamie Zawinski

[Edvard]

My new favorite webcomic:

CommitStrip, the blog relating the daily life of web agencies developers

http://www.commitstrip.com

[Edvard]

Another from Commitstrip.com (some real gems in there):
How many times...

http://www.commitstrip.com/en/2014/11/13/best-of-scumbag-windows/

[mouser]

[app103]

The User is Drunk

Your website should be so simple, a drunk person could use it.
You can't test that. I'll do it for you.

WHAT: I'll get very drunk, and then review your website. I'll send you a document outlining where I thought the website needed help, and a screencast of me going over the website.

How's that for a job?

[Stoic Joker]

The User is Drunk

Your website should be so simple, a drunk person could use it.
You can't test that. I'll do it for you.

WHAT: I'll get very drunk, and then review your website. I'll send you a document outlining where I thought the website needed help, and a screencast of me going over the website.

How's that for a job?

Considering you have like 3 seconds to either captivate or lose a visitors attention, I think it's a brilliant idea. I see way to many sites that play games with key features that no one should ever have to dig for. They should do this for application design too ... Never ever (Ever...) make the user dig..

[Renegade]

Never ever (Ever...) make the user dig..

Unless you're a government web site and don't actually want people to find information. i.e. Most of them.

Has anyone ever visited a gov site and not wanted to commit suicide, or at least stab themselves in the face to end the pain?

But...

The User is Drunk

Your website should be so simple, a drunk person could use it.
You can't test that. I'll do it for you.

WHAT: I'll get very drunk, and then review your website. I'll send you a document outlining where I thought the website needed help, and a screencast of me going over the website.

How's that for a job?

I'm totally qualified for that job~! °°hic°°°

Hell... I'm even Irish°°~! It°s in my DNA.°°°

I think he°s just a dirty poser! Gimme a bottle and I°ll prove it°!

Another from Commitstrip.com (some real gems in there):
How many times...

http://www.commitstrip.com/en/2014/11/13/best-of-scumbag-windows/
...

There's way too much truth in there.

[Stoic Joker]

I'm totally qualified for that job~! °°hic°°°

Hell... I'm even Irish°°~! It°s in my DNA.°°°

I think he°s just a dirty poser! Gimme a bottle and I°ll prove it°!

50/50 Portuguese/German mix here ...(I drive better shitfaced than most people do sober)... And I'll be applying for that job as well!

[app103]

I'm totally qualified for that job~! °°hic°°°

Hell... I'm even Irish°°~! It°s in my DNA.°°°

I think he°s just a dirty poser! Gimme a bottle and I°ll prove it°!

I instantly thought of you when I saw this site. 

You should start a service doing this for desktop apps. It wouldn't cut into this guy's fun, at all, since he's only doing websites.

[tomos]

Reminds me of drunk history
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=drunk+history

[MilesAhead]

Reminds me of drunk history
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=drunk+history

One should bear in mind that History is written by the victuals.

[Stoic Joker]

Reminds me of drunk history
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=drunk+history

One should bear in mind that History is written by the victuals.

History was written by food?? ...And I thought that the new math was bad...but this new education system has really got me baffled.

[MilesAhead]

Reminds me of drunk history
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=drunk+history

One should bear in mind that History is written by the victuals.

History was written by food?? ...And I thought that the new math was bad...but this new education system has really got me baffled.

I think we can count on drunks to have wine with their meals, don't you? 
Besides, with puns one has autistic license.

[Renegade]

I think we can count on drunks to have wine with their meals, don't you? 

Y'know... I hate to sort of call you out in public, but you've kind of misunderstood things here...

Wine *IS* a meal.

(Beer is a snack.)

[Renegade]

...And I thought that the new math was bad...but this new education system has really got me baffled.

Oh, you mean how 3x4=11?

The Common Core way is just silly. Here's one mom showing 8+5.

Like... geez... Anyways, here's the logic:

Make the 8 a 10 and break down the 5 into 2 and 3, with the 2 going into the 8 to make 10, then add 3 to the 10 to get 13.

Who thinks like that?

Here's the natural way...

So, 8 and 5... well, 5 is 1 short of a 6-pack, so take 1 from the 8 to add to the 5 to get that 6-pack. But there's no such thing as a 7-pack, so take 1 from that and you've got 1 and 2 x 6-packs, and everyone knows 2 x 6-packs is a 12-pack, so add the 1 to the 12-pack and you've got 13 beer.

This is called "Drunken Math" and it is infinitely versatile.

For example... say someone doesn't drink a lot of beer. Let's just say they're one of those lilly-livered sissies that drinks overly sugary fizzy wine or vodka coolers that come in 4-packs... It still works. 5 is a 4-pack plus 1 more, and 8 is 2 x 4-packs, which gives you 12 plus the 1, so 13 sissy coolers.

Now, for the seasoned alcoholics out there, we can even jump straight to vodka, and the math starts to get more exciting.

For the moment, we'll assume that mickey's are for sissies (which are often 12 ounces, which factors into 2x2x3), so we're only talking about 26ers (has 13 in there as a prime factor), 40-pounders, and litre bottles. Shots range from 30 to 60 ml, with a 1.5 ounce shot being 43 ml (about), which is prime. Like, good grief! How many ways are there to count and add? Many! So many ways!  

Drunken Math also works with other bases, such as sexagesimal. For example...

Tom, Dick and Harry are out drinking. After 1 hour, Tom drives home while Dick and Harry continue to drink for another 5 hours. Dick bails and Harry sticks around for 1 more for the road, or crawl as it were. How many hours and minutes in total did they all drink? Easy!

Tom drank 1 hour
Dick drank 1+5=6 hours
Harry drank 1+5+1=7 hours
So they drank 14 hours or 840 minutes. But probably more like 15 hours or 900 minutes because Harry likely snuck a few along for the walk home, which is about an hour away give or take.

Asking how much they drank is another matter though as we don't know if they upchucked after leaving, and it's likely that Harry did, but whether or not chucking counts negatively hasn't been strictly defined.

But, the time thing there is really easy because we're only working in round numbers like 60 or 360.

There are so many, many nice round and lovely numbers out there. Here are just a few of my favs in order! (Some truncated.)

• 0
• 1
• 1.618
• 2
• 2.718
• 3
• 3.14
• 5
• 6.28
• 7
• 8
• 11
• 13
• 17
• 19
• 21
• 23
• 29
• 31
• 34
• 37
• 41
• 43
• 47
• 53
• 55
• 59
• 61
• 67
• 71
• 73
• 79
• 83
• 89
• 97
• 144
• 233
• 377
• 610
• 987

Now, some deserve multiple mentions, but nobody wants to see 0, 1 and 2 win every single time. Like, the fractional numbers have it hard enough already!

I should've been a math teacher. °°hic°°°

[MilesAhead]

I think we can count on drunks to have wine with their meals, don't you?  

Y'know... I hate to sort of call you out in public, but you've kind of misunderstood things here...

Wine *IS* a meal.

(Beer is a snack.)

[attach]

[wraith808]

[attach=#]

[app103]

The importance of using icons that people can actually understand.

[TaoPhoenix]

Oh, you mean how 3x4=11?

The Common Core way is just silly. Here's one mom showing 8+5.

I put these into two separate categories.

At least the 8+5 example comes out right. In another category, there's the "fast math" tricks seen on TED talks that suddenly look "impressive" because it's stuff like 24x26=624 which is out of most people's "multi tables". So I call that one a "draw".

Now the really funny part is if someone in the audience at that 3x4 epic speech was REALLY fast on the draw and mimicked her at that 110 words per min pacing "Yeah, in base 11."

Extra credit for the guy having this in his "notes":
Chart of other base systems multi tables:
http://www.dozenal.org/articles/DSA-Mult.pdf
(Extra Extra credit! In "Literature for 500 Alex", lots of the 800+ page Battlefield Earth novel relies on a plot point that the alien Psychlos built their entire technology base, besides on self destructing circuits when opened, but also on purpose in Base 11 to screw over reverse engineering attempts. I mean you guys are good, but if you only had one whack at looking at a schematic under an hour, would you pick that up?)

In high school and college teachers/profs have been doing partial credit for decades. You know, 9 step problems, you're tired/other and botch something way at the top, they just take off 3 out of 8 total points. No biggie.

It's the epic simplicity of the 3x4 example that is the shocking part. How many times can students actually produce those kinds of answers before they're held back grades though? That's the unspoken item here.

It would be funny if a whole class of those kinds of kids showed up in high school Algebra 1 and confidently parrots back versions of that speech. Teacher would do a double facepalm!

(Dramatization of teacher who thought he/she was going to teach algebra and gets kids who gloriously produce things like 3x4=11 and "explain the work". )
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNsrK6P9QvI

[Renegade]

It would be funny if a whole class of those kinds of kids showed up in high school Algebra 1 and confidently parrots back versions of that speech. Teacher would do a double facepalm!

There was a study where small groups solved problems to come up with the wrong answer. 1 person in the group wasn't "in" on the fix, but usually went along with it. I forget where I read that though. I guess you could get a class to "fix" the answers they give the teacher to mess with them.

[TaoPhoenix]

It would be funny if a whole class of those kinds of kids showed up in high school Algebra 1 and confidently parrots back versions of that speech. Teacher would do a double facepalm!

There was a study where small groups solved problems to come up with the wrong answer. 1 person in the group wasn't "in" on the fix, but usually went along with it. I forget where I read that though. I guess you could get a class to "fix" the answers they give the teacher to mess with them.

Nah, kids prank teachers all the time. It's not the same. It will get a funny reaction first, but then it all goes "back to normal".

The horror comes from when the kids *really* believe it because the kool-aid-knockoff went on so long and wasn't just "1 stupid class they took". Then the teacher is trying to figure out how to teach solving for a variable when the teacher can't trust the kids to finish *any* step!

"So, you subtract 8x from both sides." (Trying to be rhetorical) "See? 8x - 8x is what?"
Kid: "Two x?"
((Teacher sinks into double facepalm again.))

[KynloStephen66515]

The importance of using icons that people can actually understand.
(see attachment in previous post)

LOL

* Stephen66515 is dying of laughter 

[app103]

It would be funny if a whole class of those kinds of kids showed up in high school Algebra 1 and confidently parrots back versions of that speech. Teacher would do a double facepalm!

There was a study where small groups solved problems to come up with the wrong answer. 1 person in the group wasn't "in" on the fix, but usually went along with it. I forget where I read that though. I guess you could get a class to "fix" the answers they give the teacher to mess with them.

I certainly could have, all by myself, (pranking the whole class and the teacher) since I did have an Algebra I teacher that insisted on using my test as the answer key (without checking the answers to make sure they were correct, first) and refused to accept any submissions turned in before mine. And since he was such a bad teacher, he was used to 90% of students failing his tests, so he would likely never have known, and neither would the rest of the class. (But I was too busy trying to prove a point by only showing up to class on test days to ever think of a prank so epically awesome.) 

But I did come up with a good one the following year, when I didn't bother to show up for math class at all, not even on the first day. That teacher just assumed I was on his list by mistake and wasn't supposed to actually be in his class and never submitted a cut slip for me, freeing up that part of my school day to do whatever I wanted, without any consequences. And I got away with it for 4 months, till I went to drop out and had to have all my teachers sign some paper and return it to the main office...and I had no idea who my math teacher was or what room he was in. The argument with that teacher was funny, trying to convince him that he was my math teacher for the last 4 months, when he had never seen me before, and getting him to sign that paper. But by then, what were they going to do? They couldn't give me detention for cutting his class for 4 months, so I completely got away with it.