According To FBI, Internet Privacy Now Considered Suspicious

[Renegade]

Ready for a laugh? We've got a black comedy for you:

http://endoftheamericandream.com/archives/according-to-the-fbi-internet-privacy-is-now-considered-to-be-suspicious-activity

According to the FBI, Internet privacy is now considered to be suspicious activity.  If you are out in public and you attempt to keep snoopers from peeking at your computer screen, then according to the FBI they should gather as much information about you as they can and they should report you to the authorities immediately. If this seems completely and totally ridiculous to you, then you are not alone.  Millions of Americans have become deeply concerned about the constantly expanding definition of "suspicious activity" in the United States.  Sadly, the federal government is now engaging in an all-out attempt to have us all spy on one another.  All over America, the Department of Homeland Security is running ads promoting the "See Something, Say Something" campaign.  They even had 8,000 stadium workers at the Super Bowl this year go through special training on how to spot potential terrorists.  So the next time you see a hot dog vendor, keep in mind that he might also be part of a special anti-terrorism task force.

It ONLY gets better...

FAIR WARNING - YOU WILL PISS YOUR PANTS LAUGHING - ADULT DIAPERS RECOMMENDED, OR MAKESHIFT WITH PLASTIC SHOPPING BAGS -- ALTERNATIVELY, READ THIS ON THE TOILET!

Ok, now that you're ready... let the hilarity begin! This is the short list of things that indicate that YOU could be a TERRORIST~!

"Are overly concerned about privacy, attempts to shield the screen from view of others"

"Always pay cash or use credit card(s) in different name(s)"

"Act nervous or suspicious behavior inconsistent with activities"

"Are observed switching SIM cards in cell phone or use of multiple cell phones"

"Travel illogical distance to use Internet Café"

"Evidence of a residential based internet provider (signs on to Comcast, AOL, etc.)"

"Use of anonymizers, portals, or other means to shield IP address"

"Suspicious or coded writings, use of code word sheets, cryptic ledgers, etc."

"Encryption or use of software to hide encrypted data in digital photos, etc."

"Suspicious communications using VOIP or communicating through a PC game"

"Identify license plates, vehicle description, names used, languages spoken, ethnicity, etc."

"Request specific room assignments or locations."

"Use cash for large transactions or a credit card in someone else’s name."

"Arrive with unusual amounts of luggage."

"Make unusual inquiries about local sites, including government, military, police, communications, and power facilities."

"Refuse cleaning service over an extended time."

"Use entrances and exits that avoid the lobby."

"Abandon a room and leave behind clothing and toiletry items."

"Do not leave their room."

"Change their appearance."

"Leave the property for several days and then return."

If some of those don't sound insane to you, check the article. Many are easily dismissed by everyday activities like travel, etc.

[KynloStephen66515]

They wanna go that far...wow...nice to know people with a residential internet provider are now terrorists...LOL

Lets all starting EVERYBODY for minor INFRACTION ON THIS LIST...I am pretty sure they would soon be that overwhelmed with information, they would need to ask people to stop, so they can actually get REAL...USEFUL information...like "Theres a guy with a bomb" lol

[KynloStephen66515]

Also:

"Are overly concerned about privacy, attempts to shield the screen from view of others"

DO NOT READ

STOP READING MY STUFF!

"Always pay cash or use credit card(s) in different name(s)"
...I often use my mrs's CC to pay for transactions...she generally has more money in her account

"Act nervous or suspicious behavior inconsistent with activities"
erm...dunno what to say...yeah...erm....im gonna go over there now!

"Are observed switching SIM cards in cell phone or use of multiple cell phones"
I have 2 cell phones, and often use other peoples o0

"Travel illogical distance to use Internet Café"
...How far is "illogical" and what if I happen to go there, because I prefer the service, or the coffee is better?

"Evidence of a residential based internet provider (signs on to Comcast, AOL, etc.)"
w00p, I have several internet connections...does this mean imma blow stuff up?

"Use of anonymizers, portals, or other means to shield IP address"
So loggins on to my VPS from a public PC so I can browse without limits or firewall restrictions makes me a terrorist?

"Suspicious or coded writings, use of code word sheets, cryptic ledgers, etc."
NNJ CD8 NE( JDM £N& NWEIN NN00023 x 2

"Encryption or use of software to hide encrypted data in digital photos, etc."
So everything must be open source, by order of the FBI!

"Suspicious communications using VOIP or communicating through a PC game"
Wow...I tell people I am going to kill them about 8 times a day in games...pretty sure im talking about GAME killing, not actual murder...but who knows *evil laugh*

"Identify license plates, vehicle description, names used, languages spoken, ethnicity, etc."
^^ lol whut?

"Request specific room assignments or locations."
I need a kingsize bed, on the top floor, with a sea view...OMG I WANNA SHOOT PEOPLEZ

"Use cash for large transactions or a credit card in someone else’s name."
Didn't I answer this already?

"Arrive with unusual amounts of luggage."
...I have a wife...what is unusual?

"Make unusual inquiries about local sites, including government, military, police, communications, and power facilities."
What is considered to be unusual? ... Can I no longer say things like "Is that big white building, the White House?"

"Refuse cleaning service over an extended time."
I will not be woken up at 7am by ANYBODY

"Use entrances and exits that avoid the lobby."
What if I dont want to use the lobby!

"Abandon a room and leave behind clothing and toiletry items."
Unlikely...what is more likely is "Leave no toiletry items cause you stole all the towels"

"Do not leave their room."
So...someones wife kicks them out...they go to hotel and spend 5 days crying, only to find the FBI kicking down the door? - Sounds like a fun week 

"Change their appearance."
So I can no longer change my hairstyle, clothing, or shave...or get any more tattoo's, or piercings...

"Leave the property for several days and then return."
No longer allowed to go on holiday?...Damn!

[IainB]

That list is redolent of Hitler's Brownshirts, or Mao's Little Red Book. The children were even encouraged to turn in or report on their own parents.

[40hz]

[attach]

[KynloStephen66515]

(see attachment in previous post) (see attachment in previous post) Do Your Part to Help Keep America Free.Obey the Law!


So...anybody else got some smartass comments they'd care to share?

    ....... 

[Ath]

I see, so it's good to live in the EU then

[LaKraven]

Ah... America's return to McArtyism! The US government loves nothing more than getting millions of go-nowhere "anonymous tips" accusing innocent people of being whatever America's latest percieved enemy is! And when there's no convienient localized group identification for the percieved enemy (such as "Communists"), let's just go with the old standby: "Terrorist".

Next we're going to have a list of guilty suspects read out in a congresional hearing, broadcast in Black and White to complete the backward-ass situation!

[dragonmage]

I see, so it's good to live in the EU then

So long as you don't see any Americans on holiday trying to keep you from looking at their phone as they change SIM cards after paying cash for their expensive dye job/haircut and dark glasses.

[KynloStephen66515]

I see, so it's good to live in the EU then

So long as you don't see any Americans on holiday trying to keep you from looking at their phone as they change SIM cards after paying cash for their expensive dye job/haircut and dark glasses.

Going into an Internet café thats an 'illogical' distance from their hotel ^_^

[kyrathaba]

I do every single thing in that list...  

[LaKraven]

I do every single thing in that list...  

TERRORIST! TERRORIST!

FBI! Look.... There's a terrorist programmer here! Clearly he is a major threat to national insecurity! Lock him up!

P.S. Is there a reward for making accusations? If not, forget it!

[kyrathaba]

I'm also guilty of thought crimes 

[LaKraven]

I'm also guilty of thought crimes 

I demand as a republi.... I mean patriot.... that this evil terrorist be burned at the stake!

There's no room in this world for independant thinkers who value privacy!

[kyrathaba]

I am We are Anonymous...

[LaKraven]

You really can't win in America! If you want privacy, you're a terrorist! If you get naked in public, you're a sex offender! SO MANY RULES! 

[KynloStephen66515]

I am We are Anonymous...

Strange...I wasn't expecting you 

[Renegade]

That list is redolent of Hitler's Brownshirts, or Mao's Little Red Book. The children were even encouraged to turn in or report on their own parents.

Children are already being urged to turn in their parents now. I leave this as an exercise for anyone that wants to find out more. Just search. If you like, you can start with "site:<url />" with some of the usual alternative media sources that report on this. Here's a short list of some alternative media -- I'm sure most people will know some of them:

http://drudgereport.com/
http://endoftheamericandream.com/
http://www.infowars.com/
http://www.prisonplanet.com/
http://www.prisonplanet.tv/
http://www.naturalnews.com/
http://rt.com/
http://www.activistpost.com/
http://www.aljazeera.com/
http://www.blacklistednews.com/
http://www.democracynow.org/
http://www.endthelie.com/
http://oathkeepers.org/
http://www.presstv.ir/
http://www.techdirt.com/
http://www.truthistreason.net/
http://www.truththeory.com/
http://www.truththeory.org/

Some are better than others for that search.

Do Your Part to Help Keep America Free. Obey the Law!

Hahahaha~!

Speaking of obeying... I wonder what kinds of things you can be arrested for? Burping? Climbing on furniture? Having a paring knife to cut up apples? Or perhaps a plastic butter knife? Swearing? Having an overdue library book?

Apparently all of these are serious crimes! Some of which require tasering or pepper spray. Oh? Did I mention that these heinous crimes were committed by children? Some 5 or 6 years old?

http://endoftheamericandream.com/archives/19-crazy-things-that-school-children-are-being-arrested-for-in-america

Like I've said... You can't make this stuff up!

You really can't win in America! If you want privacy, you're a terrorist! If you get naked in public, you're a sex offender! SO MANY RULES! 

I've said before that ignorance of the law should be a valid defense, because there is an avalanche of new laws making everything illegal. Like burping!

[40hz]

At the rate this is going, it's going to need its own topic.

Maybe: "Law, Business, Politics ,and the Internet" ???

And as annoying as these types of discussions may be to people who's primary interest is the technology rather than the social dimension of the online world, these exchanges may end up being some of the most important discussions that ever came up here.

[TaoPhoenix]

This feels like they're ticked at losing the SOPA fiasco.

It's like playing monopoly with nothing but Go To Jail cards.

[Renegade]

For those interested in laughing a hell of a lot more, the basic indicators of terrorist activities above have been pushed out to pretty much everyone you can imagine.

e.g. Hotels. Martial arts academies. Internet cafes. <insert any industry here />

More on Internet cafes:

http://www.osceola.org/sheriff/113-19137-19145/internet_cafeacute_terrorism_warning_indicators.cfm

Insanity

Communities Against Terrorism
Potential Indicators of Terrorist Activities Related to Internet Café
What Should I Consider Suspicious?

People Who:
Are overly concerned about privacy, attempts to shield the screen from view of others
Always pay cash or use credit card(s) in different name(s)
Apparently use tradecraft: lookout, blocker or someone to distract employees
Act nervous or suspicious behavior inconsistent with activities
Are observed switching SIM cards in cell phone or use of multiple cell phones
Travel illogical distance to use Internet Café

Activities on Computer Indicate:
Evidence of a residential based internet provider (signs on to Comcast, AOL, etc.)
Use of anonymizers, portals, or other means to shield IP address
Suspicious or coded writings, use of code word sheets, cryptic ledgers, etc.
Encryption or use of software to hide encrypted data in digital photos, etc.
Suspicious communications using VOIP or communicating through a PC game

User Computers To:
Download content of extreme/radical nature with violent themes
Gather information about vulnerable infrastructure or obtain photos, maps or diagrams of transportation, sporting venues, or populated locations
Purchase chemicals, acids, hydrogen peroxide, acetone, fertilizer, etc.
Download or transfer files with "how-to" content such as:
Content of extreme/radical nature with violent themes
Anarchist Cookbook, explosives or weapons information
Military tactics, equipment manuals, chemical or biological information
Terrorist/revolutionary literature
Preoccupation with press coverage of terrorist attacks
Defensive tactics, police or government information
Information about timers, electronics, or remote transmitters / receivers

Note: It is important to remember that just because someone's speech, actions, beliefs, appearance, or way of life is different, it does not mean that he or she is suspicious.
What Should I Do?

Be Part of the Solution
Gather information about individuals without drawing attention to yourself
Identify license plates, vehicle description, names used, languages spoken, ethnicity, etc.
Do not collect metadata, content, or search electronic communications of individuals
Do not do additional logging of on-line activity or monitor communications
If something seems wrong, notify law enforcement authorities.

Do not jeopardize your safety or the safety of others.

Preventing terrorism is a community effort. By learning what to look for, you can make a positive contribution in the fight against terrorism. The partnership between the community and law enforcement is essential to the success of anti-terrorism efforts.

Some of the activities, taken individually, could be innocent and must be examined by law enforcement professionals in a larger context to determine whether there is a basis to investigate. The activities outlined on this handout are by no means all-inclusive but have been compiled from a review of terrorist events over several years.
Osceola County Sheriff's Office

Martial arts & paintball:

http://info.publicintelligence.net/FBI-SuspiciousActivity/Martial_Arts_and_Paintball.pdf

Surplus stores:

http://oathkeepers.org/oath/wp-content/uploads/ColoradoFBISurplusStore.pdf


WARNING - YOU MAY JUST SHIT YOURSELF LAUGHING - PREPARE YOURSELF - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!


Farm Supply Stores:

http://agr.wa.gov/FoodSecurity/docs/CommunitiesAgainstTerrorism-FarmSupplyStores.pdf

New customer...

For more eye-popping fun and insanity, have a little search for "communities against terrorism potential indicators of terrorist activities":

http://www.google.com.au/search?q=communities+against+terrorism+potential+indicators+of+terrorist+activities


BTW - I bought a copy of the Anarchist Cookbook when I was a kid. I haven't blown up any government buildings lately, so it might just be that I'm not a terrorist... Though I do use VPNs and encryption and... OH MY GOD! I AM A TERRORIST!  AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT!!! Where can I turn myself in?

[TaoPhoenix]

"a Terrorist,a Terrorist,a Terrorist,a Terrorist" - to the tune of the Developer's song.

"Come on! Get them!"

[LaKraven]

"a Terrorist,a Terrorist,a Terrorist,a Terrorist" - to the tune of the Developer's song.

"Come on! Get them!"

"I wanna meet Obama, I don't wanna get bombed... O-bama bama bama!" set to the music of Technohead

[Renegade]

And as annoying as these types of discussions may be to people who's primary interest is the technology rather than the social dimension of the online world, these exchanges may end up being some of the most important discussions that ever came up here.

I don't think that you could be more correct. You nailed it.

For those of us that "get" technology and the Internet and communication and all that goodness, it's about information and sharing.

At the core, we want to share with each other. We want to help each other. We want to see others excel and create wonderful things. Technology enables these things on a scale never seen before, and in a beautiful way.

It's shameful that we need to talk about the basic right to share information. The basic right to talk to each other. The basic right to communicate. The basic right to disagree.

As usual, I think 40hz has nailed down some important things there.

We should not have to "talk" about "the social dimension of the online world". Rather, we should simply engage in the social dimension (which we are, though here we are actually talking about it AND doing it). Engaging in the social dimension is what we do when we talk about software, code, and all the goodies that surround the technologies that we've come to love, and sometimes hate.

Hopefully, the near future will get us back on track.

[wraith808]

America's return to McArtyism!

... McCarthyism^w?