Margaret and Helen might have something to say about that. Here's their take on the holidays:
http://margaretandhe...-to-the-family-2010/____________
Dear Family,
In a year when we almost lost your Grandpa Harold, I would expect each and every one of you to make the effort to be here this year. If only for a few minutes. I’ll make an exception for anyone who lives more than three hours away. Now that is what I expect, but clearly not what I will get. So be warned. At Christmas time what you expect to find under the tree is clearly not what you will get. I love you. Really I do. I don’t expect you to visit often, but I do expect the holidays. And I don’t think that is too much to expect.
For those of you who are coming – from this point forward known as my favorite family members – here are the house rules. Your following them will make for an unforgettable meal filled with laughter and bacon.
- If it jiggles, slap a girdle on it or leave it at home. I am not kidding Cloe. One step inside my door with anything made from Jello and it will be your last step. I have about 50 pounds on you so don’t test me.
- Rhonda. My house. Your pets. Never the twain shall meet.
- Mary. My sofa. Your kid’s feet. Never the twain shall meet.
- I have banned cans of soda. Two liter bottles of soda only. I am tired of throwing away half full cans of soda. If you are two young to lift a 2 liter bottle of soda to fill a glass, you are too young to be drinking soda un-supervised.
- At age 84 and 11 months, I have had my picture taken more than enough times to fill any memory photo album. The digital era has made it too easy to take way too many useless pictures. Point one camera in my direction this year and I can promise you that your camera will be used to stuff something other than the turkey. When I am gone, feel free to remember me with pictures from my best year – 1962.
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And that's just the start. Hilarious.
