DISCLAIMER: This is a complete rant. I'm sure it's offensive. Please skip over if you've got thin skin.
<rant mode="high-gear">
The benefits of Facetime are clear; no-one cares that you could do it on a Nokia phone years ago.
This is telling. It might as well read:
Nobody cares that Apple never innovated anything, but rather stole all its ideas from other companies and then hyped it as "revolutionary" when they did it. The fact is that they know how to make whatever anyone else is doing look cool.
-Distortovision~~~
The point is that Apple’s grand sweeping statements (“we think this is the future of everything!”) connect with people quite easily.
That's because it's a fucking mantra! When you repeat the same shit again and again and again and again, eventually people believe it, and what's worse is eventually YOU will even believe it. Truth is irrelevant.
There are studies on propaganda that show this. Eastern mystics have known about mantras for thousands of years. None of this is new!
And because its products impact culture and not just tech
This is 1,000% correct. And THIS is the core of Apple's success. THEY ARE NOT A TECHNOLOGY COMPANY. Now, that's going to seem a bit surprising to some people, so let me back up a bit with a similar example...
Google. What are they?
Search?
NO!
Google is NOT a search company.
Google is an ADVERTISING COMPANY!
Now, just pause for a moment and reflect on that ---
**********
Google is an advertising company.
**********
Ok. Back to Apple... Apple is not a technology company in the same way that Google is not a search company.
I still don't know what to call Apple though.
They're part fashion, part religion/cult (more cult than religion though), part entertainment, part retailer, part whore (there's nothing like a good whore to separate someone from their money, and Apple excels at this)...
But they are NOT a "tech company".
Sun does tech. Microsoft does tech. Oracle does tech. Sybase does tech.
Innovation. Who innovates? 3M. Dupont. Sun. Microsoft. Oracle. Samsung. Sony. Dolby. James Cameron (not a company, but has fundamentally and single-handedly (along with his brother John) changed the film industry). Audio Highway, Saehan and Diamond Multimedia. LG. Xerox. General Electric. All of these companies have innovated in ways that have changed our lives in fundamental ways.
Apple has borrowed the GUI and mouse from Xerox. They have joined the crowd with MP3 players. They have joined the crowd with phones. Where have they innovated? Nowhere.
I still don't know what to call Apple.
The most brilliant opportunists/copy-cats out there? Demi-gods of spin doctoring? Divine spin doctors?
– in things like the mobile web, the iPod, or the iPad – Apple can say what it wants because they are the ones setting the tone of the discussion. It is Apple who is showing everyone, rather than tech geeks, what technology is capable of and how it makes your life better.
Again, bang on. Apple SHOWS PEOPLE.
Are they educators? Teachers?
I admit, I still have a bit of a hate-on for Apple ever since they started trying to
people with pure evil licensing. And I tend to view Mac users with the same contempt that I have for Mac fanboys. Kool-aid drinking, retarded wannabes.
Given my general contempt, I can't seem to view it as Apple being better than anyone at banging single concepts into the heads of people who in tech terms are mouth breathers.
My mom is actually quite good. She's highly skilled with Adobe Premiere and a few other professional multimedia tools.
But other times, her brain simply falls out. She's not *really* technically inclined.
My uncle was born 150 years too late. He says he knows how to turn the computer on and off, but I think he's exaggerating.
I think Apple is simply very good at enabling people like my mom and uncle to do very simple tech-centered tasks.
When I use an Apple device, I see that there is 1 way to do things. Not 2. Not 3. 1. Just 1. Now, contrast the simple instructions needed to resize a window in OS X and Windows:
OS X Window Resizing:
1) Hover your mouse over the lower-right corner of the window.
2) Click on the corner then drag to resize the window.
Windows Window Resizing:
1) Hover your mouse over any edge or corner of the window until a bi-directional arrow appears.
2) Click with the arrow visible then drag to resize the window.
While pretty much trivial, the OS X way is easier to explain. There's only 1 thing to know. You only need to understand what the "lower right corner" is. You don't need to understand the concept of an "edge or corner".
Maximizing? Same deal. On OS X you click the green +. On Windows you click the maximize icon or double-click the title bar, or right-click in the taskbar, or in the program Window menu you... Jeez... Options options options options...
There are studies that show that beyond a certain amount, too many options DECREASE satifaction and INCREASE frustration.
For my mom and my uncle, 1 way is plenty enough. They don't need more options. They just want to get the job done.
It's the rest of us -- the geeks, techies, gear-heads -- WE are the freaks. We're the ones that want to get it done FASTER or easier or whatever. We're the ones that tweak our systems and customize them in FUNCTIONAL ways. NORMAL people tweak the computers in AESTHETIC ways. They want cool icons, themes, backgrounds, ringtones, ringbacks, etc. etc. etc.
What’s more, love them or hate them, Apple has innovated in creative, exciting ways.
I already ranted about this.
Whether touch-screens, iTunes, the App Store, the Macbook Air or the iPad, Apple is doing things before others.
Includes profanity and capital letters
NO THEY FUCKING AREN'T. THEY ARE FUCKING RIPPING OFF OTHER PEOPLE AND LYING ABOUT IT. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING DOING THINGS FIRST YOU COMPLETE FUCKTARD!!!
THEY DID NOT DO FUCKING TOUCH-SCREENS FIRST.
THERE IS NOTHING INNOVATIVE ABOUT ITUNES. IF THERE IS, THEN THE INNOVATION IS MAKING MALWARE FUCKING ACCEPTABLE!
THE APP STORE IS NOTHING MORE THAN MASS RAPE. IT'S A TOTAL PIECE OF SHIT. YOU CANNOT EVEN FUCKING SORT SHIT IN THERE. HOW FUCKING RETARDED ARE YOU TO EVEN MENTION THIS?
THE MACBOOK AIR IS NOT A FIRST. THERE'S NOTHING NEW ABOUT IT. IT'S CALLED A "THIN CLIENT" YOU FUCKING MORON!
THE IPAD IS NOT FUCKING NEW! IT'S A FUCKING TABLET. THERE ARE TABLETS WITH MORE POWER AND FUNCTIONALITY FROM 2003!
GOD. THIS IS NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE.
The author is clearly so fucking deluded by the Apple distortion field that he's blathering complete bullshit.
That’s key.
I hope the author never has children.
It means that Steve Jobs can be an arrogant jerk because he can actually back it up.
Selling lots of snake oil doesn't mean you can "back it up". It just means that you have a lot of money and you're still a jerk.
Inappropriate venom that you should not read
It's like the serial rapist claiming he gets laid a lot.
So sure, the ‘reality distortion field’ can be annoying.
Understatement of the year.
Sometimes Apple will claim slightly crazy things – like open is bad, or that Android is terrible.
Sometimes? Wow. The author must be drowning in kool-aid.
Slightly crazy? Ahem. No, not drowning... Pickled in kool-aid.
Sometimes people forget that other companies are doing things that are just as exciting and innovative. But without understanding the reason for it – that Apple has become our culture’s symbol for how technology is supposed to work – it will never change, and we’ll be in Steve’s thrall for as long as he’s around.
Sigh... He's right about this. The popular perception is that "Apple just works". The reality isn't relevant.
I still don't know what kind of company to call Apple.
In any event, I must give the kool-aid drinker credit. He points out some important things about Apple, the culture we live in, and perceptions.
</rant>
FINAL QUESTION...
Zane... were you intentionally baiting me with this?
