silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

[MilesAhead]

I saw the cube/cubicle bit, but that seemed a kinda obvious and awkward pun

-IainB (April 05, 2017, 12:53 PM)

No pun is obvious, awkward, or stinky enough to escape being pressed into service when the need arises. 

Begin Edit:

"...when they moved us from 2 man offices to the cubicles..." and I thought that could have thus been referring to something that immediately pre-dated office cubicles in the US and that was beyond my ken (I saw nothing special/unusual in 2-man offices).

I can see the logic here.  No, I only worked at IBM as a contractor for a few years.  It was just that our group got moved around among the buildings from time to time.  The building with the 2 man offices was across the road from the main building.  The main building had a large area full of cubicles.  When they moved us over there we were in the cubes.  Being the last one to move since I wanted to finish the stuff I was working on before shutting down my PC, I ended up with the cube nobody wanted.  Right outside the manager's office door.  But it worked to my advantage.  I only lived about 7 minutes down the street.  I liked to get in early and grab coffee in the cafeteria.  So when the manager got into work every day he could not miss the fact I was the only one in the group there working.  I left a bit early too but it still left the good impression with the boss.   

End Edit


It is funny how the mind works though.  I find myself often trying to fathom something when everyone else listening has digested the speaker's comments and moved on.  Looking for subtlety can be dangerous.  One has to hear "DUH"  a lot from witnesses to the mind whiff.    But I think it ads to the genius mystique.  If I don't have a clue what is happening it must be due to the fact my mind is amusing itself by searching for the sublime.  At least that's how I try to play it off. 

The ice block pics I used were the closest thing I could find to a cube without using pictures of actual ice cubes.  I probably should have attempted making an icicle out of one picture of an ice cube pasted and iteratively downsized and concatenated.  But the result could have been even more nebulous.  I did think though, that if anyone got my drift it would be cranioscopical.  He can find a pun even if there isn't one. 

[IainB]

Thanks for explaining the background to me. Interesting times you have seen.
Where you wrote:

I saw the cube/cubicle bit, but that seemed a kinda obvious and awkward pun
______________________

-IainB (April 05, 2017, 12:53 PM)

No pun is obvious, awkward, or stinky enough to escape being pressed into service when the need arises. 
______________________

-MilesAhead (April 05, 2017, 01:33 PM)

I absolutely agree that, as you put it, "No pun is obvious, awkward, or stinky enough to escape being pressed into service when the need arises.", and I apologise if I seemed to be implicitly criticising the making of the pun. That was not the case - I wasn't intending to. The pun was perfectly valid as it stood and worth making. Punning humour is a highly desirable art form as far as I am concerned, and long may it live.   

No, it was just my mind - always looking for interesting puzzles and patterns - that led me astray, insisting that there were probably additional implicit hidden humorous subtleties to be understood, but of course that was mistaken in this case.   
That was what I meant by "How disappointing!"
(It's not the first time this sort of thing has happened, and it probably won't be the last.)

By the way, are you able to explain? As I wrote above "I still don't know what the "motion elements" and the accompanying little symbols were referring to, in the picture.".
I have to ask - what were they?       (Enquiring minds need to know.)

[MilesAhead]

By the way, are you able to explain? As I wrote above "I still don't know what the "motion elements" and the accompanying little symbols were referring to, in the picture.".
I have to ask - what were they?       (Enquiring minds need to know.)

-IainB (April 06, 2017, 02:28 AM)

I have no idea.  I just searched google images and they were the most "cubey" ice that did not come in an ice cube tray, that I could find.  Google must just scrape sites for images.  I would not have a clue how to trace it to the origin.  It does sound like they are moving the mountain to Muhammed.  Weird though.  Searching that phrase I get this jazz about if the mountain will not come to Muhammed, then Muhammed must go to the mountain. I always remember hearing it the other way around.  If you can't get Muhammed to the mountain then move the mountain to Muhammed.  Seems like more revisionist data on internet. 

[IainB]

@MilesAhead: Regarding "motion elements", thanks for trying anyway. Looks like you saw just as confusing a mess as I saw then.

I gather the correct expression was/is:

"If the mountain won't come to Muhammad then Muhammad must go to the mountain."

- and has to do with not being able to always get one's way in life, when things may be, quite literally, immovable, so one has to compromise.
- possibly from a Turkish proverb?

[MilesAhead]

@MilesAhead: Regarding "motion elements", thanks for trying anyway. Looks like you saw just as confusing a mess as I saw then.

I gather the correct expression was/is:

"If the mountain won't come to Muhammad then Muhammad must go to the mountain."

- and has to do with not being able to always get one's way in life, when things may be, quite literally, immovable, so one has to compromise.
- possibly from a Turkish proverb?

-IainB (April 06, 2017, 08:54 AM)

On TV shows for decades I have always seen the dialog, when they could not get someone to go where they wanted, that "if we can't get Muhammed to go to the mountain, we'll have to bring the mountain to Muhammed."  I have never seen it the other way around.  What would be noteworthy about making some guy go to a mountain?  Seems like it would be newsworthy if they moved the mountain to the guy.  Taking a boat across the Red Sea vs parting it you might say.  Not many remember a boat ride unless George Washington is standing in the bow or it's the Titanic.

[IainB]

On TV shows for decades I have always seen the dialog, when they could not get someone to go where they wanted, that "if we can't get Muhammed to go to the mountain, we'll have to bring the mountain to Muhammed." I have never seen it the other way around. What would be noteworthy about making some guy go to a mountain?
_____________________

-MilesAhead (April 06, 2017, 09:01 AM)

That doesn't surprise me.
Bit of a digression:

Spoiler

It doesn't surprise me because it would seem to be an example from a collection of bits of colloquial American speech where the original English usage has been warped out of shape, or reversed, almost beyond recognition.
A common one is "I could care less" (sic), which I gather means the opposite of what it says - i.e., "I don't give a damn" (OWTTE) - whereas the correct English for this would be "I couldn't care less".

I once came across a website whose author (an American) apparently held, as one of his life's ambitions, the objective of "translating" the works of Shakespeare into his version of modern colloquial American. That would seem to be about as useful as translating them into French, or (say) translating a program from FORTRAN to BASIC for the heck of it.

I say this based on the experience of my education at a Welsh grammar school, where we were introduced to Shakespeare and Chaucer by the age of 12. At that point, we had to study their texts in the original Medieval/Old English they were written in, so that we could converse relatively fluently in the colloquial English of their era. We were also taught and had to be fluent in modern English and Welsh, with modern French as an extra language where we had to be able to read Les Misérables in French (no English translation provided).

So, to me, the idea of "translating" the works of Shakespeare into someone's version of modern colloquial American seemed laughably like an antithesis to, and an unwittingly crass rejection of, the classical education. A seemingly ignorant approach and an indictment of the prevailing educational system that spawned it.

[IainB]

If you have come across the children's nursery rhyme "I do not like thee, Doctor Fell", you might have wondered what it was about. It's an odd, but simple rhyme:

• I do not like thee, Doctor Fell,
  The reason why - I cannot tell;
  But this I know, and know full well,
  I do not like thee, Doctor Fell.

This rhyme is said to have been written by the satirical English poet Tom Brown in 1680.
There is an anecdote associated with the origin of the rhyme: apparently, when Brown was a student at the Christ Church, Oxford, he was caught doing mischief. The dean of Christ Church, John Fell (1625–1686), who later went on to become the Bishop of Oxford, expelled Brown, but offered to take him back if he passed a test.
The test Fell set was to see if Brown could extemporaneously (i.e., spoken or done without preparation) translate the thirty-second epigram (a short witty poem) of Martial (who was a well-known Roman epigramist).
If Brown could do that, then his expulsion would be lifted.
The epigram in Latin is as follows:

• Non amo te, Sabidi, nec possum dicere quare;
  Hoc tantum possum dicere, non amo te.

The English for which is:

• I do not like you, Sabidius, but I can not say why;
  This much only I can say, I do not like you.

However, Brown apparently made the very witty and satirical impromptu English mis-translation above, which became the verse we know today.   
______________________________
Source: Wikipedia

[MilesAhead]

A common one is "I could care less" (sic), which I gather means the opposite of what it says - i.e., "I don't give a damn" (OWTTE) - whereas the correct English for this would be "I couldn't care less".

That one always bugged me.  Another twist on a common saying was a habit of my father's.  He would always say "You have to take the good with the bad."  For many years every time he said that I would reply "You mean, you have to take the bad with the good."  He wouldn't react to my comment.  When I got to be around 42 I realized he was right.  You have to take the good with the bad. 

[tomos]

"cockatoo loves elvis"

[other cockatoo doesnt love elvis]

[Arizona Hot]

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

'Seems to me, if the falling star you're wishing upon lands on the genie about to grant three wishes, you're not getting that Ferrari.'

[IainB]

@panzer:

-panzer (March 21, 2017, 04:04 AM)

I reckon that is a seriously good .gif!
Very amusing. My 6 y/o son thought it was good too.
Thanks.

[IainB]

Trigger Warning!: - a public health initiative sponsored by LLF (Live Life Fully) and the RSHHJJCCU (Ren & Stimpy Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy Consortium for Career Underachievers).

This post and the image depicted:

• May make you wish you had never seen this as you may be unable to forget having seen it.
• May cause feelings of fear or danger as the scene includes a crocodile and the article is about the death of the man depicted in the photo.
• May make you feel that it is morbid (though it is not).
• May cause feelings of agoraphobia as the photo depicts the wide open space of a beachfront.
• May cause feelings of claustrophobia if you find beaches physically confining and restrictive places.
• May cause feelings of hydrophobia as the photo depicts a lot of water.
• May cause feelings of eremikophobia as the photo depicts a lot of sand.
• May cause feelings of eremophobia as the photo depicts an otherwise apparently deserted and large beach.
• May cause feelings of fear or danger for those who never learned to swim, as the photo depicts a seascape in the background and you feel that you might fall in and drown.
• May seem to be suggesting that crocodiles are cute, when in fact they are not - they are dangerous!
• May surprise you with the realisation that the subject has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with crocodiles, and you may thus feel that your expectations have not been met and you have been misled.
• May give rise to feelings that the image is racist or lacks social diversity, or (worse) both, or (even worse) depicts cruelty to animals.
• May induce feelings of inadequacy in that your hairstyle could be deemed unfashionable.
• May induce unwelcome/unwanted morbid or sad thoughts.
• May induce unwelcome/unwanted happy or strangely erotic  thoughts.
• May seem to be unnecessarily silly.
• May seem to be insufficiently silly.
• May contain "adult content".
• May not be safe to view at the workplace.
• May not be safe and may be disturbing to view at home or with family and/or children.
  
• May be emotionally disturbing and cause feelings of regret if viewed by elderly Australian grandparents who used to keep pet saltwater crocodiles.
• May cause said elderly grandparents to go sit on the beach and stare wistfully at the horizon.
• May not be safe to view in a public place.
• May not be safe to view in a private place.
• May not be safe to view in a pet shop.
• May not be safe to view on a stile.
• May not be safe to view with a crocodile.
• May not be safe to view on a smartphone whilst driving a motor vehicle.
• May not be safe to view on a smartphone whilst swimming or having a bath or in the rain, especially if a power charger is plugged-in to the smartphone.
• May make you think you have gone totally deaf or the volume is turned down, until you realise that there is no soundtrack accompanying the image being displayed.
• May make you feel fearful of stingrays, though that might be a wise thing to feel.
• May make you feel emotionally upset or disturbed in ways that are hard to describe, though the words to do so may be on the tip of your tongue.
• May make you feel funny inside.
• May make you feel funny on the outside.
• May make you want to sigh.
• May make you want to cry.
• May make you want to go out and kill someone or rip their eyes out.
• May make you want to kill yourself or rip your own eyes out.
• May cause you to question the existence of God.
• May cause you to question the existence of The Great Spaghetti Monster.
• May cause you to question your own existence.
• May cause you to question the meaning of Life.
• May cause you to question whether the bears really will come and get you if you tread on the cracks in the pavement.
• May cause you to scratch your head in puzzlement.
• May cause sores on the head from too much puzzled scratching.
• May cause mental confusion or anguish because the image as depicted has little to do with the text and you just don't get it.
• May cause uncomfortable feelings of ego-hurt or inferiority because you are unsure what "irony" is.
• May make you to want to look up the definition of the words "irony" or "humour" or "lethalogica" in the dictionary.
• May cause concern in case the scene photographed contains residual particles of peanuts, or seeds containing gluten, or traces of dairy products, or monosodium glutamate or dihydrogen monoxide, or excessive salt, or genetically modified organisms.
• May make you wish there was a Down Vote or Burn button to press.
• May make you wish that the trigger warnings would please, please, just STOP.

Don't worry. All of the above concerns and feelings and any other feelings that you may be experiencing at this moment are perfectly valid and in no way indicative that you are screwed-up or anything less than perfect. They are your feelings and they are right and correct. So, don't let that nasty little voice in your head or that loud-mouthed opinionated, pointy-headed #sshole sat in the next cubicle or bus seat try to tell you any different. Just loudly speak the soothing magic invocation "Shut up, racist!" to them, to make them go away, and then embrace your feelings and thus embrace yourself. Give yourself a really good-feeling real or mental hug - in an entirely altruistic and non-sensuous way, of course (especially if you are in a public place, but it's OK if you are in private or your bedroom - you can knock yourself out then!).   

Thank you for helping to make this forum a Safe Space™, where our feelings are always validated.
_____________________________
From: http://innov8tiv.com...ing-film-production/
9 Famous Actors Who Died on Sets During Film Production
 - by Fahad Saleem  April 7, 2017

Number 7: Steve Irwin
Steve Irwin was a famous wild life presenter. He died in 2006 while filming his documentary “The Crocodile Hunter: Ocean’s Deadliest”. He died when a Stingray fish bit him.

[Arizona Hot]

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Some people won't go anywhere without their pets

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Longer and stronger thumb for texting

[Arizona Hot]

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

If you eat a lot of Smucker's. is that evidence that you are a schmuck?

schmuck (n.)
also shmuck, "contemptible person," 1892, from East Yiddish shmok, literally "penis," probably from Old Polish smok "grass snake, dragon," and likely not the same word as German Schmuck "jewelry, adornments," which is related to Low German smuck "supple, tidy, trim, elegant," and to Old Norse smjuga "slip, step through" (see smock).
In Jewish homes, the word was "regarded as so vulgar as to be taboo" [Leo Rosten, "The Joys of Yiddish," 1968] and Lenny Bruce wrote that saying it on stage got him arrested on the West Coast "by a Yiddish undercover agent who had been placed in the club several nights running to determine if my use of Yiddish terms was a cover for profanity." Euphemized as schmoe, which was the source of Al Capp's cartoon strip creature the shmoo.
"Additional associative effects from German schmuck 'jewels, decoration' cannot be excluded (cross-linguistically commonplace slang: cf. Eng. 'family jewels')" [Mark R.V. Southern, "Contagious Couplings: Transmission of Expressives in Yiddish Echo Phrases," 2005]. But the English phrase refers to the testicles and is a play on words, the "family" element being the essential ones. Words for "decoration" seem not to be among the productive sources of European "penis" slang terms.
http://www.etymonlin...dex.php?term=schmuck

[MilesAhead]

schmuck (n.)

-Arizona Hot (April 11, 2017, 09:58 PM)

If you happen to Schlep on over to google, see "putz." 

I have always considered "Schmucked" to be a verb.  If you made a fool of someone we say you fooled them in English.  So I figure in Yiddish slang if you made a Schmuck out of someone, you have Schmucked them.  Seems logical at least. 

Edit: Therefore I would assume a Schmucker is a person who habitually makes Schmucks out of others.

[Arizona Hot]

schmuck (n.)

-Arizona Hot (April 11, 2017, 09:58 PM)

If you happen to Schlep on over to google, see "putz." 

I have always considered "Schmucked" to be a verb.  If you made a fool of someone we say you fooled them in English.  So I figure in Yiddish slang if you made a Schmuck out of someone, you have Schmucked them.  Seems logical at least. 

Edit: Therefore I would assume a Schmucker is a person who habitually makes Schmucks out of others.

-MilesAhead (April 13, 2017, 05:23 PM)

and here I was worried that Mouser would consider the post to be "pron" because of Jew's beliefs about the word. See my Basement post of dark jokes and let me know if you think it is too dark for here.

[x16wda]

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Happy Easter!

[Arizona Hot]

Did you ever wake up and find you are a figment of someone's imagination? It's worse than a guy having a female shadow.

[Target]

the ending was perhaps a bit predictable, but I loved the beginning of this one, very pythonesque

https://vimeo.com/116309879#at=6

[Arizona Hot]

Does anyone know if there is a bondage program for slave hard disks?

[anandcoral]

https://xkcd.com/1839/

The thought does cross my mind : How GOD made thing (me) is still working in spite of Virus, Sector errors, Deleted important files, Cable fault, No network etc. 

Regards,

Anand

[Arizona Hot]

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]    silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Bearded Man Playfully Poses for Pin-Up Calendar to Raise Money for Children’s Charity

Silly? Try the subject in Google Images or get the archive below. You can even get the calendar.

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

The Whimsical Woodsman & Friends

[IainB]

Trigger Warning!: - a public health initiative sponsored by LLF (Live Life Fully) and the RSHHJJCCU (Ren & Stimpy Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy Consortium for Career Underachievers).
(If you have the courage, you can skip the trigger warning by going down to the "**** Here's the content:" bit, below.)

This post and any mental images it may conjure up:

• May make you wish you had never seen this as you may be unable to forget having seen it.
• May cause feelings of fear or danger of imagined potential/real existential threats.
• May cause feelings of francphobia in those who dislike the French.
• May cause feelings of anglophobia in those who dislike the English.
• May cause feelings of fear or danger for those who never learned to enjoy or understand fiction, or satire, or humour.
• May seem to be suggesting that French people are mean or nasty, when in fact they are not - they are very nice people who speak their minds and are members of a happy and democratic republic.
• May seem to be suggesting that English people are stupid and/or irreligious, when in fact such things may often tend to be relative and there are many intelligent English people.
• May surprise you with the realisation that the subject really probably has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with France, and you may thus feel that your expectations have not been met and you have been misled.
• May give rise to feelings that the content is racist or lacks social diversity, or (worse) both, or (even worse) incites cruelty to animals, when in fact this is not the case.
• May cause you to involuntarily exhale large breaths of CO2 whilst laughing or shouting, and thus risk excessively polluting the atmosphere and having to pay carbon tax for doing do.
• May induce feelings of inadequacy in that you never learned to speak French.
• May induce unwelcome/unwanted morbid or sad thoughts.
• May induce unwelcome/unwanted happy or strangely erotic  thoughts.
• May seem to be unnecessarily silly.
• May seem to be insufficiently silly.
• May seem to contain "adult content".
• May not be safe to view at the workplace.
• May not be safe and may be disturbing to view at home or with family and/or children.
• May be emotionally disturbing and cause feelings of regret if viewed by elderly French relatives or grandparents who hanker after the days of Madame Guillotine.
• May cause said elderly grandparents to go and sit staring at old pictures of the Brugge guillotine.
• May not be safe to view in a private place.
• May not be safe to view for a while.
• May not be safe to view standing in a cathedral aisle.
• May not be safe to view on a smartphone whilst driving a motor vehicle.
• May not be safe to view on a smartphone whilst swimming or having a bath or in the rain, especially if a power charger is plugged-in to the smartphone.
• May make you think you have gone totally deaf or the volume is turned down or YouTube is broken, until you realise that there is no video or soundtrack accompanying the post.
• May make you feel fearful of idiot Englishmen with potential access to voting-booths and nuclear bombs (though arguably not an unreasonable fear).
• May make you feel emotionally upset or disturbed in ways that are hard to describe, though the words to do so may be on the tip of your tongue.
• May make you feel funny inside.
• May make you feel funny on the outside.
• May make you want to sigh.
• May make you want to cry.
• May make you want to go out and kill someone or rip their eyes out.
• May make you want to kill yourself or rip your own eyes out.
• May cause you to question the existence of God.
• May cause you to question the existence of The Great Spaghetti Monster.
• May cause you to question your own existence.
• May cause you to question the meaning of Life.
• May cause you to question whether the bears really will come and get you if you tread on the cracks in the pavement.
• May cause you to scratch your head in puzzlement.
• May cause sores on the head from too much puzzled scratching.
• May cause mental confusion or anguish because the content is written in French (except for a bit at the end) and you just don't get it.
• May cause uncomfortable feelings of ego-hurt or inferiority because you are unsure what "irony"  or "satire" are.
• May make you to want to look up the definition of the words "irony" or "satire" or "humour" or "lethalogica" in the dictionary.
• May cause concern in case the text contains residual particles of peanuts, or seeds containing gluten, or traces of dairy products, or monosodium glutamate or dihydrogen monoxide, or excessive salt, or genetically modified organisms.
• May make you wish there was a Down Vote or Burn button to press.
• May make you wish that the trigger warnings would please, please, just STOP.

Don't worry. All of the above concerns and feelings and any other feelings that you may be experiencing at this moment are perfectly valid and in no way indicative that you are screwed-up or anything less than perfect. They are your feelings and they are right and correct. So, don't let that nasty little voice in your head or that loud-mouthed opinionated, pointy-headed #sshole sat in the next cubicle or bus seat try to tell you any different. Just loudly speak the soothing magic invocation "Shut up, racist!" to them, to make them go away, and then embrace your feelings and thus embrace yourself. Give yourself a really good-feeling real or mental hug - in an entirely altruistic and non-sensuous way, of course (especially if you are in a public place, but it's OK if you are in private or your bedroom - you can knock yourself out then!).   

Thank you for helping to make this forum a Safe Space™, where our feelings are always validated.
_____________________________

**** Here's the content:

There's long been a sort of love-hate relationship between France and England.
The French tended to have a pretty dim view of the Brits. For example, it is recorded that in a sermon by 17th-century French bishop and theologian Jacques-Bénigne Bossuet, he said/wrote:
"L'Angleterre, ah, la perfide Angleterre, que le rempart de ses mers rendoit inaccessible aux Romains, la foi du Sauveur y est abordée."
Rough translation: "England, ah, the treacherous England, which the rampart of her seas rendered inaccessible to the Romans, the faith of the Savior is discussed/is approaching/has approached/has landed."

This was later echoed in a rather dreary nationalistic poem by Augustin Louis de Ximénès, "L'Ère des Français" (1793) where he mentions:
"Attaquons dans ses eaux la perfide Albion."
Rough translation: "Let us attack perfidious Albion in her (own) waters."

But the invented discussion below - a bitingly scathing satire in French, of the English - whilst making a nod to that history, goes well beyond that. Brutally honest and factual. The pejorative title says it all. (Sent to me by a friend and ex-colleague who lives in a French-speaking part of Switzerland, from a discussion forum he follows. I wondered whether the author might have a pretty dim view of the Brits also. ...)
Made me larf.
Ah well. Vive la République!

Les arrivistes anglais.
____________________

Élite libérale anglaise: "Je ne comprends pas."
Fondamentaliste islamique: "Nous méprisons votre civilisation libérale permissive occidentale, votre attitude envers la liberté et tout ce qui concerne votre culture. Nous considérons que vous êtes sale et que votre influence sur le monde est méchante. Nous voulons vous détruire."

Élite libérale anglaise: "Je ne comprends toujours pas."
Fondamentaliste islamique: "Vous êtes des polythéistes et des athées qui refusent de se soumettre à l'islam. Vous êtes dégénéré. Nous allons détruire votre société."

Élite libérale anglaise: "Je ne comprends toujours pas, pourquoi faites-vous cela?."
Fondamentaliste islamique: "Vous autorise l'alcool, vous permettez le sexe en dehors du mariage, vous tolère l'homosexualité, vous accordez l'égalité des femmes aux hommes, vous autorisez la liberté de parole. Ceci est interdit dans le Coran et nous allons vous détruire pour cela."

Élite libérale anglaise: "C'est quelque chose à voir avec la politique étrangère de l'Ouest n'est-ce pas? C'est ça, n'est-ce pas?"
Fondamentaliste islamique: "Non, cela n'a rien à voir avec votre politique étrangère. Nous faisons cela partout et pour les mêmes raisons. Si cela concernait votre politique étrangère, nous attaquons vos institutions politiques, mais nous attaquons des endroits où votre comportement sale est à l'affiche: concerts pop, boîtes de nuit, bars où les gays se rassemblent, et ainsi de suite."

Élite libérale anglaise: "Allons, c'est notre politique étrangère, n'est-ce pas!?"
Fondamentaliste islamique: "Non, je vous l'ai répété à plusieurs reprises, pourquoi nous faisons cela. Chaque fois que nous vous attaquons, nous vous expliquons pourquoi. Le fait que nous avons même cette conversation démontre que nous avons déjà gagné. Vous êtes tellement confus et démoralisé que vous ne verrez pas les faits devant votre visage même lorsque nous vous disons pourquoi nous vous attaquons. Vous refusez de faire face à vos menaces existentielles. Nous méprisons votre société immorale et non islamique. Nous méprisons votre faiblesse et votre manque de valeurs partagées. La chose la plus simple à faire serait de nous enfermer tous et de nous expulser, mais vous êtes tellement démoralisé que vous ne le ferez pas."

Élite libérale anglaise: "Nous ne pourrions pas vous bloquer ou vous expulser, cela constituerait une violation de vos droits de l'homme!"
Fondamentaliste islamique: "Exactement. Vous êtes tellement lavé d'esprit que face à une menace existentielle, vous êtes plus préoccupé par les droits de l'homme de la menace existentielle que par la confrontation. Nous avons déjà gagné. La vérité est que vous n'avez vraiment rien à défendre. Vous êtes un tas de personnes sur le chemin. Vous n'avez aucun enfant. Vous n'avez aucune valeur partagée. Lorsque nous vous explosons, vous chantez des chansons pop inanes. Nous sommes simplement en train de coups de pied dans une structure pourrie."

Élite libérale anglaise: "Nous avons des valeurs! Nous croyons au choix, à la tolérance et à la diversité!"
Fondamentaliste islamique: "Nous savons que! Ce ne sont pas des croyances, ce sont des platitudes. Ce sont des mots que les gens qui ne croient en rien utilisent. Si vous croyiez réellement à quelque chose, vous ne les utiliserez pas. Nous savons que. Nous savons que vous ne croyez en rien. Nous croyons à quelque chose. Nous croyons en Allah, vous ne croyez en rien. Nous sommes unis dans nos croyances, vous êtes désunis par votre incrédulité. Cela nous rend forts et vous êtes faible."

Élite libérale anglaise: "Mais la diversité!"
Fondamentaliste islamique: "Nous savons! C'est hilarant! Nous pouvons, tout à fait littéralement, traverser vos villes et vos rues habillées en uniforme islamiste complet, agitant un drapeau ennemi et chantant la mort à l'Ouest et vous battre à peine une paupière. C'est ridicule."

Élite libérale anglaise: "Mais la tolérance!"
Fondamentaliste islamique: ""Nous savons! Chaque fois qu'un mouvement de base s'oppose à nous surgit, un nombre encore plus grand d'entre vous s'élève pour les opposer! Nous ne pouvons pas le croire!"

Élite libérale anglaise: "Mais l'égalité!"
Fondamentaliste islamique: ""Nous savons! Il y avait un moment où vous croyiez réellement quelque chose, et vous croyiez que c'était le meilleur. Maintenant, vous mettez le système de croyance métaphysique - le christianisme - sur lequel vos ancêtres ont construit votre société à égalité avec tout et rien. Zut, quelles religions peu établies vous avez quittées ont accepté les idéologies laïques qui vous ont détruit et confus. Et si quelqu'un affirme le christianisme orthodoxe qui pourrait vous donner une chance de combat, vous les ridiculisez et les écrase. C'est hilarant!"

Élite libérale anglaise: "Vous ne changerez pas notre mode de vie!"
Fondamentaliste islamique: ""Nous savons! C'est formidable! Si vous étiez sain et secrète de votre existence, vous seriez tous dans les rues nous acheminant, ou du moins vous créerez et voteriez pour les partis politiques pour faire cela. Mais vous ne le verrez pas. Vous allez enterrer vos têtes dans le sable comme vous l'avez toujours fait. Vous êtes maintenant essentiellement indifférent à la survie de votre société. Vos taux de natalité nous ont parlé depuis des années de toute façon. Nous vous méprisons encore plus pour votre inaction, votre La stérilité et votre timidité. Nous allons continuer à vous bombarder, et vous allez continuer à chanter les chansons de Robbie Williams. Jusqu'à ce que vous soyez tous morts ou vous convertiez en Islam."

Élite libérale anglaise: "Eh bien. C'est tout. J'en ai eu assez. ...(en chantant) 'All we are saaaying, is give peace a chaaance.' ".
__________________________________________________________

[Giampy]

A woman calls the car dealership:

Hello! The piece number 710 has fallen from my car and I don't know where I must put it!

The piece 710?????

Yes, the piece number 710!

We have no idea what is that piece...

Damn it, you men know nothing! You men understand nothing!

Would you send us a photo of that piece please?

https://vignette4.wi...st?cb=20110205064144

[Arizona Hot]

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
Evidence Felix Baumgartner might not have broken the record