silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

[Arizona Hot]

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

12 Most Unfortunate Product Names

Which do you think is the worst product name?

[IainB]

Signs of the times...

[mouser]

Iain you are going into political commentary again not humor..

[IainB]

Trigger Alert!
(Insert list here.)

@mouser:
Where you say:

Iain you are going into political commentary again not humor..

-mouser (October 09, 2017, 08:34 AM)

First off, humour is presumably (would seem to be) something that was in the perception of the beholder, and I was unaware that anyone was the ultimate arbiter of what was, or was not to be perceived as humour, nor that attempted humour in this thread had to amuse any particular person/persons before it could be deemed to be acceptable as de rigueur for entry to this thread. However, if it were specified that such was the rule now, or (say) that satire, irony or whatever, were now banned, then I feel sure that myself and other contributors would endeavour to follow said rule, and the posting of jokes could be properly self-censored and moderated to ensure obedience to the new rule, henceforth.

Secondly, I have to ask: What on earth do you mean by "again"?
I mean, as someone who is politically agnostic (e.g., we've just had the elections here in NZ, by the way, and I voted for a quite different two parties this time around, under our MMP system) I don't think I intend to make political comment in this or any other thread, except maybe to encourage a balance, or poke the borax and make fun of bias towards any political group and/or religio-political ideology in general - i.e., where "politics" per se bears the brunt of the joke; for example, in my sketch rant in the Basement re UK PM Margaret Thatcher's alleged custom of eating human foetuses for breakfast. (Yes, I know. Seems incredible, doesn't it!? The whole nation seemed to turn a blind eye to what I had always seen as an abhorrent cannibalistic practice, and many people apparently even started to follow suit with the PM and adopted it as a popular custom! It played havoc with the economy and the demographics (birth-rates), and caused a market bubble, with the price of human foetuses going through the roof, so that many poorer people couldn't afford their now customary breakfast any more.)

In any event the cartoon above was categorically not intended by me to be a political comment, but, I probably should make my apologies, anyway, as I would have put a trigger warning in front of the above cartoon if I had imagined for one moment that someone might misconstrue a simple satire on the latest, apparently American MSM-sponsored stage of the evolution of the age-old maxim of self-censorship (the 3 wise monkeys) to be "political comment", where the inherent irony was that the MSM would seem to have turned said maxim - quite literally - "on its head", in their latest silliness. I could have been wrong, of course, but I didn't think it favoured any particular political party; or at least, I didn't see that it did. Of course, you may know better than I, since I only have a UK/NZ perspective on what passes for "political comment".

I wouldn't be amused myself if I saw no humour in the new maxim, but the MSM are the one's creating the humourous condition in the first place, not me. I'm just that annoying bloke who says "Ha-ha! Look at that! The MSM would seem to have successfully made collective asses of themselves. In the UK/NZ, we would call it "shooting oneself in the foot". But, OK, if we're "not supposed to LOL" at such things, then I stand censored corrected.

To save reaching for the dictionary for a definition of some of those words, we have, from the Concise Oxford Dictionary (10th Ed.): (in alphabetic order and with my emphasis re "humour")

• irony1 /"VIr@ni/
  · n. (pl. ironies) the expression of meaning through the use of language signifying the opposite, typically for humorous effect. Ø a state of affairs that appears perversely contrary to what one expects. Ø (also dramatic or tragic irony) a literary technique, originally used in Greek tragedy, by which the significance of a character’s words or actions are clear to the audience or reader although unknown to the character.
  – ORIGIN C16: via L. from Gk eirZneia ‘simulated ignorance’, from eirZn ‘dissembler’.
  
  
• maxim:
  · n. a short, pithy statement expressing a general truth or rule of conduct.
  – ORIGIN ME: from Fr. maxime, from med. L. (propositio) maxima ‘most important (proposition)’.
  
  
• satire /"satVI@/
  · n.
  1 the use of humour, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices.
  2 a play, novel, etc. using satire. Ø (in Latin literature) a literary miscellany, especially a poem ridiculing prevalent vices or follies.
  – DERIVATIVES satirist n.
  – ORIGIN C16: from Fr., or from L. satira, later form of satura ‘poetic medley’.
  

It's a bit like walking on eggshells if one cannot share an honest clean bit of satire about the perverted evolution of the censorship maxim, in the "Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]" and without first having to self-censor oneself... Oh, but wait...

Quite coincidentally: I saw this highly relevant video whilst skimming my LiveLink feed in BazQux reader today:
Facebook Has Bad News For CNN & NBC: No More Fake News. (Majority of Americans believe main stream news is FAKE NEWS!)

I was delighted to see that some of the avowedly trustworthy and impartial and high-integrity, diverse, apolitical, non-gender preferential, LBGT-sensitive, etc., mainstream US IT leadership - in the shape of non other than Facebook -  are apparently finally intending to take up, for the greater good, the responsibility for ensuring truth and integrity in published news reporting by the MSM (MainStream Media) - though some people (not me, you understand) might say that this was rather akin to giving the bank-robbers the keys to the bank vaults, but I couldn't possibly comment.

Anyway, I must dash, as I am giving a talk to a class on marketing philosophy (yep, that's a real thing), on the subject of commercial propaganda (AKA "Marketing & Advertising") and those two exemplary marketers par extraordinaire and bastions of political freedom-of-speech (and thought) reputedly much-fancied by UOBerkely - Joseph Goebbels and Leni Riefenstahl - both of whom the modern politically-biased historians would seem to have (mistakenly, in my view) greatly under-appreciated and given a grossly-undeserved bad rep. I can understand how the OUB might have seen through all that nonsense though, and might hold them in high regard. I guess that's what you get from a high-quality educational institution, anyway.
________________________________
PS (Post Script): Do bear in mind that a lot of the BS what I write is often tongue-in-cheek and intended to be humourous, challenging/stimulating where relevant, and that I delight in poking the borax (as above), and that this is a silly humour thread...   

[wraith808]

There is a thread for political humor in the basement.  Perhaps, to err on the side of caution, it should be placed there?

[IainB]

I just read on msn.com news that: Donna Karan sorry after comments praising Harvey Weinstein

Since people are now speaking out about this, I just wanted to state - for the record that, and to my knowledge - I have never mentioned my thoughts and/or feelings about "Todger Chippy" (as he liked us to call him) - unless it was perhaps by chance when I might have been unaware of what I was saying, whilst "under the influence" during a phase of heavy drinking that I went through, prior to undergoing rehab for alcoholism.

In any event, if I did say anything, and though he got me my most important acting role, I would never have spoken in praise of him, since he was the cause of my descent into alcoholism and feelings of gross inferiority and depression for a long period, after he pressured me into letting him fondle my naked body under the suds in the bubble bath, whilst we were between takes on the set, in the steamy bathroom scene in the movie "Return to Jeopardy" - based on a true story - and where I was acting  the role of the heroine, Emily Jasper Cudgewhistle - a respectable homosexual transvestite, professional accountant and reformed pedophile, who was an ex-army gunnery sergeant-major and who became a UK Conservative MP and later Defence Minister and Cabinet Minister, and who was also also a skilled campanologist, well-known and sought-after in church parishes around the counties of Essex, Middlesex, and Nossex ,and who simply wanted to marry a nice, unattached younger American man called Rodger Datt (whom she had fallen in love with at first sight when she met him in a gay bar in Soho) and settle down and start a new life and a new family with him. It's a tragedy, because the marriage did not eventuate (read the biographies; very sad) and she eventually died single and alone in her bath (presumed drug overdose), at age 58. A great loss.

I had only tolerated Todger's disgusting and wholly unwanted behaviour at the time because I was naïve and, out of what I later regretfully realised was an entirely misguided sense of gratitude, because he was the one who had got me this - my first -  starring role in the first place. I was too ashamed of the event to ever mention it to anyone until now, and, after revealing the above, I feel refreshed and cleansed - more so than I felt cleansed after that fateful bubble bath episode, which is seared unforgettably into my memory and the cockles and sub-cockles.

Sadly, the film production ceased about half-way, so, of course, the film never made it to the box office. The backers had had second thoughts and pulled out, you see, citing the reasons that the heroine in the story lacked credibility and amidst concerns that "filmgoers would not be able to easily empathise" with the complex character of Emily Jasper, nor with the substantial hurdles and battles that she had confronted so admirably in her unhappy, foreshortened life, as she incrementally discovered herself and came to terms with who she was and her real gender. It was just too profound and too progressive a story for them, I suppose, at the time, and they didn't want to take the financial risks. They may have been prejudiced too, though I think it could be a smash hit nowadays, as, thanks to improved education, people are far more understanding and tolerant of human differences and alternative views and lifestyles than they used to be in the old days - thank goodness.

Well, that was many years ago, and this is now, and I'm a fit 93½ year old superannuitant, with a good acting career behind me, so, if they ever do decide to make a reprise of "Return to Jeopardy", I likely shan't be in it (LOL)! However, whether the production is in a movie, or for the stage, I wish whoever might eventually be cast in the role of Emily Jasper "break a leg". It's a difficult, challenging role, I can tell you, and not just anyone could do it and probably not without it changing their lives too. It certainly changed mine. Five years later, having never been comfortable with being "Griff", I changed my name to Leslie and settled down happily with the lovely actor who played the part of Roger Datt so admirably in the movie. We're still together. Sounds prosaic, I know, but there's a saying that "life follows art", or something.

Not only was the role challenging, but the campanology bits were difficult too, and I had to study and practice for a hundred or more hours in a Norman church in Lillingstone Dayrell (a tiny village near Buckingham, UK), before I could pull correctly on the bellend rope at just the right time and with just the correct force, and not keep breaking the ruddy stops on the backroll with the heavier bells, whilst still maintaining perfect sync with the chimes of the other bellringers. I've always appreciated hearing good campanology and well-rung chimes after that, and have much admiration for those who can pull on a bellend with such precision - because I know how hard it can be.

[wraith808]

^ This is silly humor?  Hmmm....  Perhaps interesting "stuff", but silly humor?

[Stoic Joker]

These three Emails showed up in my inbox in the order displayed.
silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

[wraith808]

^ LOL!  Coincidence?  Or more Fake News.  Hmmm....

[Arizona Hot]

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Optimal Mouse

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Reality is an Illusion

Does this mean that Albert Einstein was an illusion?

[Arizona Hot]

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]   silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]   silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Canada Speaks: This Week in Skepticism

Do you always talk to your computer?

The elephant in the room

[mouser]

There's nothing like relaxing at home with your dog:

[Deozaan]

While cleaning out an old Downloads folder from a backup drive I hadn't touched for a few years, I came across this image.

I leave you, without further comment, Maze Images.png:


(Or click the image to follow a link)

[panzer]

[Arizona Hot]

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Sci-gasm Podcast

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Starbucks launches Zombie Frappuccino for coffee's walking non-dead fans

[ConstanceJill]

While cleaning out an old Downloads folder from a backup drive I hadn't touched for a few years, I came across this image.

I leave you, without further comment, Maze Images.png:

[ Invalid Attachment ]

-Deozaan (October 24, 2017, 05:46 PM)

I don't get it. Is it not just some QR Code? (Tried using a few applications to decode it but they can't seem to decode it though…)

[dantheman]

NotSafeForSome:

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN........
The day finally arrived.  Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.  He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said,
'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you.  We have heard a lot about you.  I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.'

Forrest responds,
'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.
Life was a big enough test as it was.
 
St. Peter continued,
'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
First:
What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?
Third:
What is God's first name?'
 
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers'
 
Forrest replied,
'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'?  Shucks, that one is easy.  That would be Today and Tomorrow.'
 
The Saint's eyes opened wide andhe exclaimed,
'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer.  How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.
'How many seconds in a year?
 
Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'
 
Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve?
Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?'
 
Forrest replied,
'Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '
 
'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter.  'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.
Can you tell me God's first name'?
 
'Sure,' Forrest replied,
'it's Andy.'
 
'Andy!' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.
'Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'
 
'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied.
'I learnt it from the song,
'ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'
 
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,and said:
'Run Forrest, run.'

[Arizona Hot]

Anyone want a career as a serial killer's victim? It pays well and is a long-term job if you have the talent for it. You get your first month's pay beforehand.

[Deozaan]

I don't get it. Is it not just some QR Code? (Tried using a few applications to decode it but they can't seem to decode it though…)

-ConstanceJill (October 28, 2017, 05:36 AM)

I think it's fairly self explanatory if you can decode the QR code. I'm not sure why your applications couldn't decode it since I'm pretty sure they follow a standard in order to work ubiquitously.

[dantheman]

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk?  Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist.  "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

"Okay," she said.  "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first.  A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass.  Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps.  Why do you suppose that is?"

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

 
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?"

And then she went back to reading her book.

[Deozaan]

Maze Images.png:

-Deozaan (October 24, 2017, 05:46 PM)

I don't get it. Is it not just some QR Code?

-ConstanceJill (October 28, 2017, 05:36 AM)

I felt bad about my last response. I didn't want to explain the joke for fear of ruining it, but in hindsight, I suppose the joke can't be appreciated if it can't be found. So I updated my original post so that now the QR Code is a link which should be more helpful in explaining why I found it amusing to stumble across a QR code image named "Maze Images" seemingly randomly.

[tomos]

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN........

-dantheman (October 28, 2017, 07:26 AM)

enjoyed that :-)
There's an entertaining tale collected by the Grimm brother's called Brother Lustig (Lustig meaning merry / funny / fun) where the Brother gets the better of Saint Peter at the gates of heaven.

Found it here, (note it's not a short one)
https://www.cs.cmu.e...pok/grimmtmp/061.txt

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