Okay, once and for all, I understand DC's page layout perfectly, and there is nothing wrong with it.
There is absolutely no need to rethink DC's page layout.
I picked the 'silly humor' thread, dreamed up utter nonsense, total idiocy, and ranted like it was a big huge deal.
It was supposed to be funny, and not to confuse anyone and I wasn't laughing -at- anyone.
Apologies to all, it's a joke that may have come off more as a prank or spoof.
Whenever I post to a joke thread and rant idiotically like this, it's not intended to be taken seriously.
Long live DC.