Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content] (Read 3935459 times)

Renegade · « **Reply #3875 on:** December 03, 2014, 05:52 PM »

Don't read the next phrase.

You are a rebel. I like you.

-Giampy (December 03, 2014, 03:45 PM)

Hehehe! That reminds me:

4wd · « **Reply #3876 on:** December 03, 2014, 08:26 PM »

Brian: "You are all individuals!"
Crowd: "We are all individuals."
Old man: "I'm not."

Renegade · « **Reply #3877 on:** December 03, 2014, 09:22 PM »

MilesAhead · « **Reply #3878 on:** December 04, 2014, 05:37 AM »

Here's one I'm working on.. may have to tune the wording a bit but the idea is ..

Q: During the selection process of a new Pope why do we see black smoke so often?

A: Because once selected it becomes the Pope's duty to pontificate for the rest of his life.
It's the College of Cardinals' duty to listen to it.

crabby3 · « **Reply #3879 on:** December 04, 2014, 07:05 AM »

Which throwback holiday character are you?

I haven't given my results from this quiz on the grounds that it may tend to incriminate me. Were your results any better?

-Arizona Hot (November 29, 2014, 09:02 PM)

Quiz said the Grinch and i seem to have outgrown the holiday spirit.
Jack Skellington's: 'You celebrate the holidays in your own way'.... would be more accurate.

... i have become what my mother used to call 'a stick in the mud'.

crabby3 · « **Reply #3880 on:** December 04, 2014, 09:17 AM »

Giampy · « **Reply #3881 on:** December 04, 2014, 11:35 AM »

"Dear dishwasher, don't try to fool me. I play Tetris since 1990"

(from "The world of Amelia")

Giampy · « **Reply #3882 on:** December 05, 2014, 02:01 PM »

"Once I was schizophrenic. Now we are healed both"

(writing on a wall)

Giampy · « **Reply #3883 on:** December 05, 2014, 02:04 PM »

MilesAhead · « **Reply #3884 on:** December 05, 2014, 03:33 PM »

The Rat's Point Of View

A Lab Rat had one of his buddies over for a visit. While showing off his maze to his pal the guest rat noticed a guy wearing a white lab coat. "Who's the guy in the smock?" he asked the host. The host replied "He's my servant. I merely ring the bell and he feeds me. Would you like some fresh cheese?" "Sure" replied the guest. Ding ding ding.

crabby3 · « **Reply #3885 on:** December 06, 2014, 03:20 AM »

The Rat's Point Of View

A Lab Rat had one of his buddies over for a visit. While showing off his maze to his pal the guest rat noticed a guy wearing a white lab coat. "Who's the guy in the smock?" he asked the host. The host replied "He's my servant. I merely ring the bell and he feeds me. Would you like some fresh cheese?" "Sure" replied the guest. Ding ding ding.

-MilesAhead (December 05, 2014, 03:33 PM)

" ... and would you like a hat like mine as well?" asked the Lab Rat. "That's not a hat!" said his bud...

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #3886 on:** December 06, 2014, 01:04 PM »

Samsung UN105S9 Curved 105-Inch 4K Ultra HD 120Hz 3D Smart LED TV.jpg

For those of you who like humorous Amazon reviews.

Amazon.com Samsung UN105S9 Curved 105-Inch 4K Ultra HD 120Hz 3D Smart LED TV Electronics

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #3887 on:** December 06, 2014, 02:45 PM »

If a computer virus steals your identity, do you get amnesia?
Is there a zombie movie where the outbreak is caused by a computer virus?

MilesAhead · « **Reply #3888 on:** December 06, 2014, 03:25 PM »

Is there a zombie movie where the outbreak is caused by a computer virus?
-Arizona Hot (December 06, 2014, 02:45 PM)

Is there a Zombie movie where the Zombies look better dead than alive?

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #3889 on:** December 06, 2014, 07:02 PM »

Is there a zombie movie where the outbreak is caused by a computer virus?
-Arizona Hot (December 06, 2014, 02:45 PM)

Is there a Zombie movie where the Zombies look better dead than alive?
-MilesAhead (December 06, 2014, 03:25 PM)

How about a zombie movie where the characters like and prefer being zombies.
Where they are intellectually-superior creatures, frustrated because their favorite delicacy: brains take such tight co-ordination and teamwork to get and because of this have to be shared among so many people you only get a small portion of the gourmet treat. You don't know how much planning and effort it takes to get it. Ordinary people make it so hard to get their brain. If they only knew how delicious they are.

Renegade · « **Reply #3890 on:** December 07, 2014, 02:14 AM »

Is there a zombie movie where the outbreak is caused by a computer virus?
-Arizona Hot (December 06, 2014, 02:45 PM)

No, but there is Apple. Does that count?

app103 · « **Reply #3891 on:** December 07, 2014, 03:21 AM »

Is there a zombie movie where the outbreak is caused by a computer virus?
-Arizona Hot (December 06, 2014, 02:45 PM)

No, but there is Apple. Does that count?
-Renegade (December 07, 2014, 02:14 AM)

IainB · « **Reply #3892 on:** December 07, 2014, 03:35 AM »

Become a English expert (bad grammar).jpg

(Sigh). Easy on the eye, but hard on the grammar. So much for crowd-sourcing of knowledge...
At least the spelling is OK.

crabby3 · « **Reply #3893 on:** December 07, 2014, 05:00 AM »

(see attachment in previous post)
(Sigh). Easy on the eye, but hard on the grammar. So much for crowd-sourcing of knowledge...
At least the spelling is OK.
-IainB (December 07, 2014, 03:35 AM)

... what's the point or reason behind changing the Topic Title in a reply? I don't get it...

app103 · « **Reply #3894 on:** December 07, 2014, 05:08 AM »

(see attachment in previous post)
(Sigh). Easy on the eye, but hard on the grammar. So much for crowd-sourcing of knowledge...
At least the spelling is OK.
-IainB (December 07, 2014, 03:35 AM)

Oh, and that's a grammar error that gives me the same physical reaction as nails on a blackboard!

crabby3 · « **Reply #3895 on:** December 07, 2014, 05:28 AM »

(see attachment in previous post)
(Sigh). Easy on the eye, but hard on the grammar. So much for crowd-sourcing of knowledge...
At least the spelling is OK.
-IainB (December 07, 2014, 03:35 AM)

Oh, and that's a grammar error that gives me the same physical reaction as nails on a blackboard!
-app103 (December 07, 2014, 05:08 AM)

.. so you must cringe a lot when you're here?

app103 · « **Reply #3896 on:** December 07, 2014, 05:50 AM »

(see attachment in previous post)
(Sigh). Easy on the eye, but hard on the grammar. So much for crowd-sourcing of knowledge...
At least the spelling is OK.
-IainB (December 07, 2014, 03:35 AM)

Oh, and that's a grammar error that gives me the same physical reaction as nails on a blackboard!
-app103 (December 07, 2014, 05:08 AM)

.. so you must cringe a lot when you're here?
-crabby3 (December 07, 2014, 05:28 AM)

I cringe a lot, in general. I don't keep track of where, any more.

crabby3 · « **Reply #3897 on:** December 07, 2014, 06:17 AM »

(see attachment in previous post)
(Sigh). Easy on the eye, but hard on the grammar. So much for crowd-sourcing of knowledge...
At least the spelling is OK.
-IainB (December 07, 2014, 03:35 AM)

Oh, and that's a grammar error that gives me the same physical reaction as nails on a blackboard!
-app103 (December 07, 2014, 05:08 AM)

.. so you must cringe a lot when you're here?
-crabby3 (December 07, 2014, 05:28 AM)

I cringe a lot, in general. I don't keep track of where, any more.
-app103 (December 07, 2014, 05:50 AM)

.. oddly enough... this doesn't bother me at all...

MilesAhead · « **Reply #3898 on:** December 07, 2014, 09:50 AM »

How about a zombie movie where the characters like and prefer being zombies.
Where they are intellectually-superior creatures, frustrated because their favorite delicacy: brains take such tight co-ordination and teamwork to get and because of this have to be shared among so many people you only get a small portion of the gourmet treat. You don't know how much planning and effort it takes to get it. Ordinary people make it so hard to get their brain. If they only knew how delicious they are.
-Arizona Hot (December 06, 2014, 07:02 PM)

What they need are a few rain forest zombies skilled in hunting monkeys with those little silent bows and arrows. Also they could teach their contemporaries the culinary skills required to serve the brains in skull(there must be a term for it like a la carte but I'm not schooled in Haute cuisine.)

MilesAhead · « **Reply #3899 on:** December 07, 2014, 09:59 AM »

(see attachment in previous post)
(Sigh). Easy on the eye, but hard on the grammar. So much for crowd-sourcing of knowledge...
At least the spelling is OK.
-IainB (December 07, 2014, 03:35 AM)

Oh, and that's a grammar error that gives me the same physical reaction as nails on a blackboard!
-app103 (December 07, 2014, 05:08 AM)

.. so you must cringe a lot when you're here?
-crabby3 (December 07, 2014, 05:28 AM)

I cringe a lot, in general. I don't keep track of where, any more.
-app103 (December 07, 2014, 05:50 AM)

.. oddly enough... this doesn't bother me at all... (see attachment in previous post)
-crabby3 (December 07, 2014, 06:17 AM)

Hmm, if it were 9 one inch nails I wonder if music would be produced?