Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content] (Read 3933871 times)

Stoic Joker · « **Reply #2675 on:** March 13, 2014, 12:03 PM »

...And the wind chill at 100mph is murder I tell Ya.
-Stoic Joker (March 13, 2014, 11:25 AM)

Need to get some leathers.
-crabby3 (March 13, 2014, 11:37 AM)

I've had the same leathers for over 20 years. They work fine...but only so well. What I need is Tropical Breezes instead of this Arctic shit we been getting lately.

crabby3 · « **Reply #2676 on:** March 13, 2014, 12:19 PM »

...And the wind chill at 100mph is murder I tell Ya.
-Stoic Joker (March 13, 2014, 11:25 AM)

Need to get some leathers.
-crabby3 (March 13, 2014, 11:37 AM)

I've had the same leathers for over 20 years. They work fine...but only so well. What I need is Tropical Breezes instead of this Arctic shit we been getting lately.
-Stoic Joker (March 13, 2014, 12:03 PM)

You wear colors as well?

My part of the Big Chill already came and went. It's back up to a Tropical 75 with a light breeze.

Giampy · « **Reply #2677 on:** March 13, 2014, 12:23 PM »

Stoic Joker · « **Reply #2678 on:** March 13, 2014, 01:16 PM »

...And the wind chill at 100mph is murder I tell Ya.
-Stoic Joker (March 13, 2014, 11:25 AM)

Need to get some leathers.
-crabby3 (March 13, 2014, 11:37 AM)

I've had the same leathers for over 20 years. They work fine...but only so well. What I need is Tropical Breezes instead of this Arctic shit we been getting lately.
-Stoic Joker (March 13, 2014, 12:03 PM)

You wear colors as well? My part of the Big Chill already came and went. It's back up to a Tropical 75 with a light breeze.
-crabby3 (March 13, 2014, 12:19 PM)

Hehe No colors, I'm not much on the pack mentality, and I don't follow orders worth a damn.

You're way down south, I'm central FL, so the afternoons here are nice...but morning sucks. By the time I got to Main St. last Saturday at 9am, I looked like Giampy's ^cat^.

40hz · « **Reply #2679 on:** March 13, 2014, 01:34 PM »

Pure evil - but funny!

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #2680 on:** March 13, 2014, 04:14 PM »

Beware it's Thursday the 13th!

IainB · « **Reply #2681 on:** March 13, 2014, 04:21 PM »

Pure evil - but funny!

-40hz (March 13, 2014, 01:34 PM)

Ah yes, the Antena wheel anti-boredom clip. One of my favourites. I downloaded it as a "keeper" in 2004. It still makes me smile.

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #2682 on:** March 13, 2014, 04:51 PM »

SAN FRANCISCO — Saturday is the Ides of March. But there's no need to be on guard.

Julius Caesar probably should have been. But then, he blew off the soothsayer who told him to "beware the Ides of March" in the first act of Shakespeare's play.

You might remember from English class that things didn't go so well for him.

Out in the Twitterverse, posters are using #idesofmarch as a way to remember actor Philip Seymour Hoffman, who died of a drug overdose last month. Hoffman was in George Clooney's convoluted 2011 political drama "The Ides of March."

Though Bridget Hughes had one of the best tweets so far: "Note to self: On Saturday March 15th, order a Caesar salad, lure it into a false sense of security, then stab it 23 times #IdesofMarch"

Saturday is the Ides of March, no need to beware

crabby3 · « **Reply #2683 on:** March 14, 2014, 12:36 PM »

Lunch time

40hz · « **Reply #2684 on:** March 14, 2014, 04:25 PM »

^Groan! <facepalm>

IainB · « **Reply #2685 on:** March 15, 2014, 05:06 AM »

The 4 kinds of people that live in Great Britain.

There are four kinds of people that live in Great Britian.
First are the Scots, who hold on to their children and anything else they can get their hands on. Next are the Welsh, who pray on their knees and prey on their neighbours. Then there are the Irish, who don't know what they want, but they'll fight anyone for it. Last are the English, who consider themselves self-made men, which relieves the Almighty of any responsibility.

IainB · « **Reply #2686 on:** March 15, 2014, 06:23 AM »

...
The English salesman in Cardiff.
An English computer salesman from London was attending a 4-day sales convention in Cardiff (Wales) towards the beginning of Winter.
He drove there by car, checked-in to his pre-booked hotel, and attended the conference each day, usually ending up each evening in a local pub, after dinner, where he would drink solidly at the bar until closing time, and then go to bed.

On the evening of the third day of the convention, he was in the pub, and was talking with the Welsh barman, complaining bitterly about the weather. It had rained incessantly for the 3 days whilst he had been there so far.

"I tell you," he said, "it had been fine when I left England, a crisp Winter's day, but it started to rain as soon as I got across the ruddy border into Wales, and it hasn't f###ing stopped. It rained all during the drive to Cardiff, and by the time I got to my hotel it was f###ing bucketing down. The first night the noise of the heavy rain f###ing drumming against the window of my hotel room ensured that I didn't get much bloody sleep. It was raining at breakfast time the next morning, it was bloody raining all during the convention that day, so we didn't get out to see some of the historical sights around Cardiff that had been planned. It was still pissing down whilst I was having dinner that evening, and when I came over to this pub after dinner it was f###ing bucketing down again.
Now I wouldn't mind, if it had been just the one day, but it's gone on for three f###ing days solid now without letup. Rain, f###ing rain, f###ing rain. Easing off to a fine drizzle for a few hours would have been nice - I could have enjoyed the brief respite - but no, it's just been f###ing bucketing down and bucketing down all the f###ing time and I tell you I'm f###ing fed up with it. I've had enough. I'd have f###ing gone home today if I could have, just to get out of this f###ing waterlogged hole, but I can't you see, because I've got to f###ing well stick around to the bitter end of this sales convention as I am the main sales rep for my company, and I have to make a speech tomorrow, so I can't f###ing leave until after that.
I'd never been to Cardiff before this week. If I'd known what a f###ing waterlogged s##thole it was I would never have f###ing come. This place has to be the f###ing arsehole - the bloody rectum - of the world, I f###ing kid you not."

At this point, he put his pint glass to his lips and took a long, slow drink of the amber liquid. The bar had gone silent, and the several local Welshmen drinking nearby who had been listening intently to his diatribe against the weather were looking curiously at him. One of them, who was sat just a couple of bar stools away from the salesman, turned towards him and enquired, "Oh yes, just passing through are you?"
-IainB (March 15, 2014, 06:20 AM)

crabby3 · « **Reply #2687 on:** March 15, 2014, 08:55 AM »

At least someone at NASA has a sense of humor

IainB · « **Reply #2688 on:** March 15, 2014, 10:39 AM »

Uh. I just read the "chicken of the sea" pun.
I like it!

crabby3 · « **Reply #2689 on:** March 16, 2014, 11:07 AM »

Whoa! Hope I don't taste like kibble

crabby3 · « **Reply #2690 on:** March 16, 2014, 01:13 PM »

@ 40hz

IainB · « **Reply #2691 on:** March 16, 2014, 08:23 PM »

The confessional.
An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
Inside he finds a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall there's a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

Then the priest comes in.

"Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."

The priest replies: "Get out, you moron; you're on my side!"

Edvard · « **Reply #2692 on:** March 16, 2014, 09:16 PM »

What Jurassic Park would look like if the raptors were cats.
-app103 (March 08, 2014, 10:26 AM)

LOL!!! Awesome!!

Target · « **Reply #2693 on:** March 16, 2014, 09:53 PM »

I was most amused to get this error message this morning

silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

I'm not sure who administers travel between the universes, or what approvals I'm going to need, but I'm guessing it's not easy

IainB · « **Reply #2694 on:** March 17, 2014, 02:00 AM »

I was most amused to get this error message this morning
Some database tables are no longer available in the universe. See your Business Objects administrator. (Error: WIS 00004)
I'm not sure who administers travel between the universes, or what approvals I'm going to need, but I'm guessing it's not easy
-Target (March 16, 2014, 09:53 PM)

Good catch. Very droll. I always thought that BI tool had a grossly over-inflated and self-important opinion of itself. Or maybe it was the designers...

IainB · « **Reply #2695 on:** March 17, 2014, 02:09 AM »

Came across this comment today:

Comments
Submitted by Peter Martin (not verified) on Mon, 03/10/2014 - 16:12.
"he will not be in a position to discuss BBC editorial decisions"While much around this is 'about time', and does suggest some are feeling enough is enough, this statement is a concern.A vast chunk of what the BBC needs to be held to account for are decisions that all too easily can suddenly be placed off limits by the BBC's expereince with being unique and seeking exemptions from being held to account it would scream to the rafters about if any tried it with their investigations.It is to be hoped that the good Lord will be intrerrogated by those as resolute as they will need to be well informed, as he and the outfit he is in theory tasked to oversee on behalf of licence fee payers are oilier than a Turkish Wrestler.
From http://www.news-watch.co.uk/node/216

I just love the ~~alliteration~~ allusion to slippery customers highlighted.
(EDITED: 2014-03-19.)

IainB · « **Reply #2696 on:** March 17, 2014, 04:03 AM »

Asteroid will bring celestial treat to Northeast | Detroit Free Press | freep.com

The fools! Don't they realise what they are doing?
It was a "spectacular meteor shower" that made most of the sighted people on earth go blind in "The Day of the Triffids".
Will they never learn? History repeats.

x16wda · « **Reply #2697 on:** March 17, 2014, 09:47 AM »

“This is a very rare event,” he says. It “may well be the only chance in my lifetime to observe an occultation of a first-magnitude star.”

I guess what Kanye West did to Taylor Swift doesn't count?

crabby3 · « **Reply #2698 on:** March 17, 2014, 12:37 PM »

License key

crabby3 · « **Reply #2699 on:** March 17, 2014, 02:56 PM »