i'm looking into the quick reply notification thing, i don't kknow why it wouldn't behave just like regular reply.
as far as notifications and email under profile&membership,
it seems i did not enable this for non donating members, but i have now.
actually i need to say that this is crazy that this was not enabled because it meant it was impossible to follow the instructions about how to disable the newsletter for non-donating members, which was not my intention