Author Topic: Now you're REALLY screwed... (Read 22128 times)

Edvard · « **on:** May 16, 2011, 10:35 PM »

California inventor Donald Scruggs came up with the idea, and now has a patent for it. From the patent application: "[the] burial containers...provide low cost internment methods with hermetic sealing, security locking, plaque and memorial markers and built in flower and flag receptacles." Nice.

But you're screaming, "why?" Good question. Again, from the patent application: "[the coffins] greatly reduce excavation labor and burial costs...they also decrease the land space required for each burial and provide for burials in normally unused areas within the cemetery."

http://news.discover...ure-dead-anyway.html

From Wired:

The image that keeps creeping nightmarishly into my mind is that of a giant, robotic Bugs Bunny, lurching into these now densely packed graveyards and uprooting the giant metallic carrots, one by one.

from Admit-One.net

mwb1100 · « **Reply #1 on:** May 16, 2011, 10:59 PM »

From my exposure to Kung Fu movies, I believe that the Chinese (or at least parts of Chinese culture) bury their dead standing on end. I guess the "screw 'em in" approach is novel.

But, I think any cemetery that wanted a standing-room-only set of plots would just put the big fencepost rig on their back hoe. I can only imagine hand cranking a coffin sized plug into the ground would get pretty painfully difficult after about two feet.

MilesAhead · « **Reply #2 on:** May 17, 2011, 01:55 AM »

Unless they suspect foul play(autopsy may be ordered in the future) then cremation would seem more sensible. We're running out of room for housing living people because we're selling plots of land at premium prices for the dead.

Has anyone read After Many A Summer Dies The Swan ?

Stoic Joker · « **Reply #3 on:** May 17, 2011, 06:49 AM »

I really don't want to have to stand in line for eternity ... For an extra few bucks can I (recline a bit) get screwed in at an angle?

Daleus · « **Reply #4 on:** May 17, 2011, 09:11 AM »

It's a comfort, albeit a cold one, that I will eventually get screwed, even if it isn't in this lifetime as so many women have told me.

cranioscopical · « **Reply #5 on:** May 17, 2011, 09:25 AM »

I think this thread is at an end.

Renegade · « **Reply #6 on:** May 17, 2011, 10:47 AM »

I think this thread is at an end.
-cranioscopical (May 17, 2011, 09:25 AM)

He called it dead!

mwb1100 · « **Reply #7 on:** May 17, 2011, 02:49 PM »

I think this thread is at an end.
-cranioscopical (May 17, 2011, 09:25 AM)

He called it dead!
-Renegade (May 17, 2011, 10:47 AM)

Screw that! I'm dying for more.

cranioscopical · « **Reply #8 on:** May 17, 2011, 04:29 PM »

Screw that! I'm dying for more.

-mwb1100 (May 17, 2011, 02:49 PM)

No need to get excited, it's only worm gear.

Stoic Joker · « **Reply #9 on:** May 17, 2011, 06:20 PM »

No need to get excited, it's only worm gear.
-cranioscopical (May 17, 2011, 04:29 PM)

So if these worm gears have teeth ... Does that mean the Early Bird will (finally) get screwed?

You ain't tricking me - I always show up 5 minutes late - The early worm gets eaten alive!

If only they'd had these teeth sooner...

cranioscopical · « **Reply #10 on:** May 18, 2011, 03:31 AM »

Does that mean the Early Bird will (finally) get screwed?

-Stoic Joker (May 17, 2011, 06:20 PM)

In the case of flyers, for the sake of completeness, you'd probably drill a pilot whole.

MilesAhead · « **Reply #11 on:** May 18, 2011, 03:50 AM »

Does that mean the Early Bird will (finally) get screwed?

-Stoic Joker (May 17, 2011, 06:20 PM)

In the case of flyers, for the sake of completeness, you'd probably drill a pilot whole.
-cranioscopical (May 18, 2011, 03:31 AM)

Just make sure the hooker ain't a back ho!

Deozaan · « **Reply #12 on:** May 22, 2011, 09:22 PM »

I'm pretty sure I saw this posted here on DC before, but I can't find the thread.

But while searching for it, I noticed a high correlation between the word "screw" (and its variants) and Apple topics. $:-\$

MilesAhead · « **Reply #13 on:** May 22, 2011, 09:57 PM »

I'm pretty sure I saw this posted here on DC before, but I can't find the thread.

But while searching for it, I noticed a high correlation between the word "screw" (and its variants) and Apple topics. $:-\$
-Deozaan (May 22, 2011, 09:22 PM)

I take it you're not a hard core Apple fan?

barney · « **Reply #14 on:** May 27, 2011, 06:32 PM »

Oh, ye gods ... some of the worst pundits in the world have aggregated in/on one (1) thread

. Is there any hope for salvation

?

MilesAhead · « **Reply #15 on:** May 27, 2011, 07:18 PM »

Maybe in the next life.

barney · « **Reply #16 on:** May 27, 2011, 07:25 PM »

Optimist

!

MilesAhead · « **Reply #17 on:** May 27, 2011, 10:16 PM »

Optimist !
-barney (May 27, 2011, 07:25 PM)

Heh heh.

cranioscopical · « **Reply #18 on:** May 27, 2011, 10:35 PM »

Oh, ye gods ... some of the worst pundits in the world have aggregated in/on one (1) thread . Is there any hope for salvation ?
-barney (May 27, 2011, 06:32 PM)

Possibly, but you'll have to wait your turn…

MilesAhead · « **Reply #19 on:** May 27, 2011, 10:49 PM »

Oh, ye gods ... some of the worst pundits in the world have aggregated in/on one (1) thread . Is there any hope for salvation ?
-barney (May 27, 2011, 06:32 PM)

Possibly, but you'll have to wait your turn…
-cranioscopical (May 27, 2011, 10:35 PM)

I'm inclined to agree. Many twists and turns before the end.

barney · « **Reply #20 on:** May 27, 2011, 11:02 PM »

We're taking turns

? Where's the fun in that

?

MilesAhead · « **Reply #21 on:** May 28, 2011, 12:56 AM »

We're taking turns ? Where's the fun in that ?
-barney (May 27, 2011, 11:02 PM)

I just hope it ain't a turn for the worse, considering the subject matter. I'm not dying to find out if the plot to this story is any good.

Stoic Joker · « **Reply #22 on:** May 28, 2011, 08:01 AM »

To every season, Turn, Turn, Turn...

cranioscopical · « **Reply #23 on:** May 28, 2011, 10:24 AM »

We're taking turns Where's the fun in that tongue?
-barney (May 27, 2011, 11:02 PM)

Are you trying to make some kind of pitch here? If so, we'll have to counter… and sink it.

barney · « **Reply #24 on:** May 28, 2011, 11:48 AM »

Are you trying to make some kind of pitch here? If so, we'll have to counter… and sink it.
-cranioscopical (May 28, 2011, 10:24 AM)

I wouldn't dare ... too many plot twists

.