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Author Topic: TOP 10 Theories Why Neanderthals Disappeared  (Read 7803 times)

Ralf Maximus

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TOP 10 Theories Why Neanderthals Disappeared
« on: December 08, 2007, 02:16 PM »
One of the great mysteries of science: why did Neanderthals, a supremely successful progenitor of man, suddenly disappear about 45,000 years ago?  It was sudden in geological terms, and quite unprecedented.  There are many theories, but none have been singled out for dominance.  Until Now.

10. Space aliens came and swapped them out for an improved version.

9. Slunk away after losing monumental rock/paper/scissors contest with early Homo Sapiens.

8. All eaten by tricerotopses (Intelligent Design winner).

7. Succumbed to Atkins Diet, forgetting they are primarily herbivores.

6. Sudden infatuation with the gay/lesbian lifestyle.

5. Climbed back into their Space Arks and went home ("There Goes the Neighborhood" theory).

4. Discovered 48 Proof beer and partied like it was 44,999 BC.

3. Disasterous hunger strike waiting for Duke Nukem Forever.

2. There never were any Neanderthals!  Merely a prank that's gotten out of hand over the years.

1. Darwin went back in a time machine and accidently stepped on a butterfly.

cranioscopical

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Re: TOP 10 Theories Why Neanderthals Disappeared
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2007, 03:02 PM »
Some of us are still hanging around, in secret.

Deozaan

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Re: TOP 10 Theories Why Neanderthals Disappeared
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2007, 04:57 PM »
Some of us are still hanging around, in secret.
-cranioscopical (December 08, 2007, 03:02 PM)

You're not the first to suggest it: The Man from Earth
What if a man from the Upper Paleolithic had survived until the present day?
-The Man from Earth
« Last Edit: December 15, 2007, 04:59 PM by Deozaan »

cranioscopical

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Re: TOP 10 Theories Why Neanderthals Disappeared
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2007, 07:06 PM »

You're not the first to suggest it: The Man from Earth
What if a man from the Upper Paleolithic had survived until the present day?
-The Man from Earth

10 more days and my decade's up...

 :o

Ralf Maximus

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Re: TOP 10 Theories Why Neanderthals Disappeared
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2007, 08:20 PM »
Bah.  It was a silly movie.  Agonizingly slow.

But the part where Ash turns out to be a robot and tries to kill Ripley with a magazine was pretty cool.

Josh

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Re: TOP 10 Theories Why Neanderthals Disappeared
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2007, 08:21 PM »
Neanderthals have NOT disappeaered, KenR still frequents the forums on a daily basis!

Darwin

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Re: TOP 10 Theories Why Neanderthals Disappeared
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2007, 09:18 AM »
Crumb! HOW did I miss this two weeks ago?! Thanks Ralf - very funny! Note that number 6 hasn't been advanced as an explanation for Neanderthals' disappearance but is a big part of the plot of Robert J. Saywer's "Neanderthal Parallax" trilogy  :Thmbsup:

PS that Butterfly had it coming...

Ralf Maximus

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Re: TOP 10 Theories Why Neanderthals Disappeared
« Reply #7 on: December 20, 2007, 09:20 AM »
Oooh!  I love Sawyer.  I thought about picking up his Neanderthals books but just haven't yet.  Are they good?

Darwin

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Re: TOP 10 Theories Why Neanderthals Disappeared
« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2007, 09:26 AM »
Well... I thought they were awesome! I read them at the public libarry when, ahem, cough, sputter, I was supposed to be writing my dissertation  :o Good fun, though. I keep meaning to buy the set but haven't, yet.