One of the great mysteries of science: why did Neanderthals, a supremely successful progenitor of man, suddenly disappear about 45,000 years ago? It was sudden in geological terms, and quite unprecedented. There are many theories, but none have been singled out for dominance. Until Now.
10. Space aliens came and swapped them out for an improved version.
9. Slunk away after losing monumental rock/paper/scissors contest with early Homo Sapiens.
8. All eaten by tricerotopses (Intelligent Design winner).
7. Succumbed to Atkins Diet, forgetting they are primarily herbivores.
6. Sudden infatuation with the gay/lesbian lifestyle.
5. Climbed back into their Space Arks and went home ("There Goes the Neighborhood" theory).
4. Discovered 48 Proof beer and partied like it was 44,999 BC.
3. Disasterous hunger strike waiting for Duke Nukem Forever.
2. There never were any Neanderthals! Merely a prank that's gotten out of hand over the years.
1. Darwin went back in a time machine and accidently stepped on a butterfly.
10. Space aliens came and swapped them out for an improved version.
9. Slunk away after losing monumental rock/paper/scissors contest with early Homo Sapiens.
8. All eaten by tricerotopses (Intelligent Design winner).
7. Succumbed to Atkins Diet, forgetting they are primarily herbivores.
6. Sudden infatuation with the gay/lesbian lifestyle.
5. Climbed back into their Space Arks and went home ("There Goes the Neighborhood" theory).
4. Discovered 48 Proof beer and partied like it was 44,999 BC.
3. Disasterous hunger strike waiting for Duke Nukem Forever.
2. There never were any Neanderthals! Merely a prank that's gotten out of hand over the years.
1. Darwin went back in a time machine and accidently stepped on a butterfly.
