Tripod - I use a Manfrotto (probably Bogen to you?) 055. It's a good solid tripod, but by the time you've added a head, FLM CB38FT in my case, plus Manfrotto quick release, it weighs about 6 lb, which she might find too heavy. Tripod is rated for 7 kg, though, more than your specification. There's someone on eBay UK who sells ex-demo Velbon carbon fibre tripods, which might get the price and weight down. My "photo guru" in Wales says the Velbon magnesium ball head is very good - I think he means the bigger one. Don't skimp on a tripod: it's not just about stability and sharpness, it's about slowing you down, making you think, and giving you the chance to look all round the edges for the little things that ruin your composition. In other words, wherever it's reasonably possible to use a tripod, use it to help you make the most perfect picture you can make. Take a look at some of
Freeman Patterson's books, especially the instructional ones, for advice on tripods, including what to look for in a tripod you travel with as well as use in a studio.
Meter - the Sekonic is popular and seems OK and to work well, though I haven't used one. I have an old Weston, great with Invercone for reasonable light, and a Gossen Digital Sixtomat Flash, which is excellent, small, light and easy to use. They no longer make the flash version but only the ambient-light one, fine if you don't want flash, or the more expensive Digipro F that I haven't tried. I recently bought a secondhand Pentax Digital Spotmeter but haven't had much experience with it yet. It was very popular model with the Zone System brigade.