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Topics - Stoic Joker [ switch to compact view ]

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Developer's Corner / PowerShell Pickle with Registry Updates
« on: September 15, 2022, 03:35 PM »
    So I'm in a bit of a pickle trying to update the registry with PowerShell. I need to go into a key, list it's sub keys, and update a value in all of the subkeys on local machine. Reason this is being done with PowerShell, is it has to be pushed out to 80 nobody wants to do it manually 80 times  :D

   The script (scrounged off the internet) I've been beating on all afternoon is below, it will open the key and list the values I'm after … But I cannot get it to update them. Note: the updated value is/will be based on the current value. So I'm looking for a get/replace/set type of operation on the HostName entry's value which is an IP address.

Code: PowerShell [Select]
  1. $registry = Get-ChildItem "HKLM:\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Control\Print\Monitors\Standard TCP/IP Port\Ports" -Recurse
  3. foreach ($a in $registry) {
  4.     ($a | Get-ItemProperty).Psobject.Properties |
  5.     #Exclude powershell-properties in the object
  6.     Where-Object { $_.Name -like 'HostName' } |
  7.     Select-Object Name, Value
  8. }

So instead of displaying the HostName entry's value, I need it to change the third octet of the IP address to a 4 so that becomes

Anybody smarter than I am got a bit of mercy handy for a tired old fool?

-Stoic Joker

So from what I'm reading, this is supposed to be simple - I'm just screwing it up somehow.

Issue I'm having is that if I use the full [path][filename] in the code it works fine. But if I try to store the path in a string - so I don't have to edit it 5 times if there is a change - logging fails and the script locks up.

I've tried every variation I could either find, or think of … But have as of yet, not found the correct answer.

Snippet of problem code below:
Code: PowerShell [Select]
  1. $logline = "$(Get-Date), $ChangeType, $FullPath"
  2.     Add-content "C:\Users\Me\Them\NPM Change Log.txt" -value $logline

Now ^that^ works fine, but what I need is something more like this:
Code: PowerShell [Select]
  1. $LogFile = "C:\Users\Me\Them\NPM Change Log.txt"
  3.     $logline = "$(Get-Date), $ChangeType, $FullPath"
  4.     Add-content "$LogFile -value $logline

But I can't get it to work; double quotes, single quotes, with/without the -path parameter identifier - everything fails and locks the script.

Any Ideas on what I might be missing?


Stoic Joker

General Software Discussion / Opera Start Page Question
« on: October 30, 2021, 02:30 PM »
So I decided to give the Opera browser a shot, since IE is rather long dead - Yes I'm still using it (hush..).

Is there any way of getting Google Search off of the default Opera Start Page?? I've seen many suggestions that don't work … Does anyone know of one that does?

I'm actually kinda liking this thing...just don't wanna see no 'G' world crap.

I'm looking for recommendations on an Android music player that is straight forward and simple to use for old people. Something that folks either have, will, or did give to their own grandmother. So no 20 questions during launch, tiny assed buttons, or anything much more complicated than a 1970's portable radio.

Desired "Features":
One click, and music comes out. Period. No updates, offers, survey questions, feature hints, or music trivia.
Shuffle entire library option that keeps going from session to session until turned off by force.
Some sort of extremely idiot simple search for and play X option - That then keeps going until - honestly I'm flexible on this one.

Thanks In Advance,

Stoic Joker

Living Room / How do you get melted rubber out of carpeting???
« on: December 06, 2020, 11:27 AM »
   So... From the before I have to ask (or tell...) my wife … How do you get melted rubber out of carpeting?!? The rubber feet on a computer had disintegrated over time into a sticky mess, that I didn't notice until after setting in on the floor in the office leaving two (actually 6 now) sticky black rubber goo dots on the carpet that are getting tracked everywhere (pets..).

Any ideas on how to resolve (no pun intended) this issue - Preferably before I get shot.


Stoic Joker

I've got a friend with a motorcycle shop that wants a basic web page, that will not be high traffic. Are there any free web site hosting option left these days that are at leased half-added reputable/reliable?

General Software Discussion / Looking for a Mass Mailer
« on: March 18, 2020, 02:13 PM »
Okay so the Coronavirus has everyone in a swivvet, and the company I work for is gagging to jump on the panic wagon by sending out a touchy-feely 'We promise to wash our hands and not sneeze on your keyboard' mailing to all of our clients.

Please don't tell my why this is annoying and dumb … I already know that (this ain't my idea..).

What I need is something idiot simple and fast, so I can get this mind-numbingly demented nonsense off my plate.

Requirements are - I hope - simple enough:

  • HTML Email body - Because (of course) it contains a graphic and fancy fonts
  • Capable of sending to 1000+ addresses in a BCC fashion - HIPAA/GDPR/Common Blinking Sense...
  • Most be able to send from a reply address that is different that the mail server login credentials - Because I sure as hell ain't playing catch with any responses for this fiasco … That "honor" will go to the clowns in the sales department that thought of it in the first place :)
  • Must be either free, or extremely cheap - Because I never ever want to use it again, for anything, ever.
  • Oh yeah, and the emails have to have an attachment - Yes I know they Most likely all be deleted for this and I don't ****ing care … I just need to be able to hit send in front of the brass so they go (…) away all warm, fuzzy, and morally validated with themselves...

Only upside is I will be going out through our internally controlled public mail server, so that part won't be as painful as the rest.

Does anyone have a clue as to what I can use for this??

- Stoic Joker

Okay, so here is the deal The owner had setup the Authy 2fa app on there phone to access their account at (for simplicity sake, let's call it) a banking site.

And then they lost their phone...

So... now, after reinstalling the Authy app on their new phone. They cannot add the site to the authy app - to get access to the site - without scanning a QR code from the site, that is apparently only on the site, that they cannot access... Did you just think of a word that rhymes with firetruck??? I did.

Which for me...begs the question: Is this kind of idiotic catch 22 level circle jerk "normal" for these (security theater fad) 2fa authentication schemes?!?

And is there any - hopefully simple - way of reuniting this poor sole with their funds?

Also (to prevent this from sounding too easy): in the long version of this story, this is not a conventional banking institution that has a brick-and-mortar storefront that someone can enter while brandishing a drivers license in front of an actual human to resolve the issue. Oh hell just can't be that, this is Crypto stuff.

Living Room / Need Video Doorbell Options
« on: April 30, 2019, 03:30 PM »
So I'm in a situation where video surveillance is becoming required, and initially it looks like a video doorbell may be a good fit … If, I can find the right one. I've been looking into these things, and all I'm ending up with is - frequently - more questions. So my hope is that someone here is familiar with this type of kit, and can guide me towards some viable options.

Current "requirements"  are:
  • Wireless connectivity for video transfer and management.
  • Runs on wired power, that is delivered by the doorbell transformer - I gots zero interest in swapping/charging batteries (I don't care how long they last..).
  • Video stored on remote share - it can be cloud also (both is fine) - but dumping local is a must.
  • Motion sensitive recording only - I shudder to think of sitting through 300 hours of still frame waiting for something to happen..
  • Low light/Night vision recording - this part is rather key, and it's ~100ft to the street.
  • Android app that allows live viewing and audio - This assumes that audio is also recorded with the video as well.

And price is of course always a factor … I'm looking for a (quick-N-painless) solution not an investment. A full video system quite probably will be in the works eventually. But for now I'm needing a quality Band-Aid to mitigate fecal oscillator disbursement issues..

Thanks in Advance,

Stoic Joker

Okay, so I was talking to a client, and they were telling me about some rather odd behavior they had noticed FaceBook appearing to be engaged in. That being ads appearing that were relevant to conversations that they had had while in the vicinity of their phone. Not on the phone...just near it. And these were discussions that had zero relevance to any phone or internet activity past or present. These people are non-Millennial strictly business kind of folk. Ya know... Older people (like me) that only use there phones for talking on..

And that struck my as quite odd … But not as something that I could easily dismiss considering the shenanigans going on in our current electronic world.

So when I got off the phone with client X, I casually mentioned it to the guy that works with me here in IT … And he said yeah, he's noticed it too. Conversations that he an I have had here - in the presence of his phone - have resulted in ads relevant to our discussions show up on his FaceBook page at home. He does not FaceBook here at the office.

So... Not to sound insanely paranoid - That's Renegade's job... - But this really does have me quite curious. It sounds crazy... But these days... I just don't know what to think anymore.

Anybody else notice something like this happening?

Living Room / Looking for Data Recovery Service
« on: January 17, 2018, 03:33 PM »
Okay... So I have a client that is an animal clinic that had a bunch of really important files on an external hard drive ... And said hard drive got knocked off the counter by one of their cats..

The cat is fine.

The hard drive however, is toast. As apparently the platters were spinning as it fell - so the heads weren't parked - and it's now exhibiting the can't find sector zero click-of-death behavior. So any and all software based recovery options are completely out-the-window. This is going to require professional help.

So... Does anyone have any first hand experience with a reputable data recovery service that they could/would recommend?? I never ran into this particular class of pickle I don't have an existing favorite.

Thanks in Advance,

Stoic Joker

General Software Discussion / Chrome on Windows Phone
« on: November 28, 2017, 10:59 AM »
We just did an update on our business software and ran into a bit of a glitch. The web section of the software now requires Chrome to access. And a large enough to be a real problem portion of our staff are currently using Windows Phones.

So does there exist any Chrome/Chromium based browsers for the Windows Phone?

Preferably looking for something that someone has tried/knows will work.

Living Room / Portuguese Translation Question
« on: October 23, 2017, 03:11 PM »
So I've been spending a lot of time translating Portuguese code comments into English so I can so I can figure out what is going on with a project that has become a rather agonizing nightmare. Many times when the comments - which are in all caps - are translated one or more words will come out in all caps, never all words, just some words...the rest are in lower case after translation. So I'm wondering is there something linguistically that is implying emphasis on certain words?

Example (as cut from code):

// If any value has already been applied to the TOTAL purchase the BALANCE will be equal to the new value minus what has already been paid

Developer's Corner / MySQL Syntax Question
« on: October 18, 2017, 09:34 AM »
Okay, so I managed to get myself roped into a development project involving a web portal/reservation system that is huge (300,000+ lines of code), that was previously worked on by 3 other people - All of which (of course) had radically different coding styles.

...And most of the code comments are in Portuguese.. Which would be ok...if the half of me that is Portuguese, could actually read Portuguese ... But apparently I'm not quite that good at being Portuguese ... So in a nutshell, I'm F'ed :D

Anyhow... One of the thinks that I keep running across in the code - aside from the insanely excessive use of the (select all columns) asterisk - is the equally infuriating excessive use of 'like' - Example:

Code: Text [Select]
  1. SELECT * FROM table WHERE id LIKE '$id'

...Which to me means 'Where like exactly this' because there are no %'s used to allow the search to fuzz. So my question is, is there by chance some vaguely/obscure reason for this seeming insanity, or is it really ~'like'~ just as dumb as I think it is?

Living Room / Irma's Coming...
« on: September 08, 2017, 05:05 PM »
Has anyone heard from Miles Ahead lately?? Us Florida folk are about to get hammered like a - storm-of-the-century - tent peg.


Living Room / GoDaddy Blocking Access to Website
« on: June 27, 2017, 03:42 PM »
Okay got a bit of a weird one here. We have a client that wanted some coding done to their website that is hosted on GoDaddy. I loaded the site in several browsers (IE/Edge/FF) to check its behavior ... And it loaded fine. Then I connected to the CP to get the FTP access information, connected via FTP, and downloaded the site (~160MB) to work on locally. After which the site will no longer load in a browser from within the building.

Now I say "From within the building" for a reason. None of the computers behind our companies IP address can access the client's website any all. I can get to the CP.. I can get to the FTP.. I can ping the domain name and get a response from the sites correct IP address... But it won't load in any web browser, on any machine, running any OS, from anywhere in the building ... However it will load just fine on my phone...if I get off of the companies wireless network. :huh:

So... WTF did I pissoff on GoDaddy's hosting system that caused it to (apparently...) blacklist the companies IP address??? There is an IP Blocklist option in the PC...but it doesn't list - us as blocked - anything useful.

So has anyone ever heard of or seen this kind of crazy assed shenanigans from a web host before?? I've got a gun-to-my-head deadline and really need to get past this..

Thanks in Advance,

Stoic Joker

Living Room / Non IT Project Website
« on: December 28, 2016, 04:11 PM »
So for the past year I've been working on an antique Harley custom/restoration project. So while I was on Christmas vacation I decided to slap together a website for the project that chronicles some of the (hopefully) more interesting parts of the project.

Granted I still haven't done anything with my main site ... But this has been way more fun.

Project Alice

In the garage I get to use a hammer!


General Software Discussion / Need software to resolve RFI issue
« on: November 08, 2016, 06:53 AM »
   So it appears I have a bit of a weird issue going on in my neighborhood. Somebody is broadcasting some type of either very dirty or high output signal that is screwing with everything wireless in my world. My garage door opener, the wireless alarm fob for my bike, my wireless network, etc..

    Is there a best option (free...) application I can toss on a laptop (or Windows Phone) to try and track this signal menace down?

Thank you,

Stoic Joker

Site/Forum Features / Code Highlighting Tags Broken
« on: October 01, 2016, 08:25 AM »
IIRC there is a proper form to report board issues in...but damn if I can find it at the moment ... So I'll just drop this here.

I've been trying to send (PM) some C++ code to a guy since Friday, but every time I use the code highlighting tags (to preserve the formatting) the page blows up saying it can't be loaded.

Is it really just my day (/week...) in the barrel, or is the board glitching on the code tags?

Living Room / Trying to remember quote about design and beauty
« on: August 12, 2016, 07:08 AM »
There was a "famous" quote mentioned here once (years ago) that was something to the effect that a machine that was designed to work well/efficiently would therefore be beautiful. It was a much more eloquent way of stating - my favorite "rule" - Form Follows Function ... But I can't for the life of me remember what it was.

Any Ideas what it might be/have been??


NANY 2016 Entry Information

Application Name Skully the Training Virus
Version 1.0
Short Description Friendly Virus for teaching purposes
Supported OSes Tested on 7, 8.x, & 10 - May also run on XP & Vista
Web Page You're on it
Download Link * The Skully Virus.exe (172.5 kB - downloaded 915 times.)
System Requirements
  • .NET4.0 - Yeah, I hate that part too
Version History
  • v1.0.0.3 - Added a few new options and penalties
  • v1.0.0.0 - Downloaded 8 times
Author Stoic Joker

This is completely benign "Training Virus" that was written to be used during a "Human Firewall" Security Training program. Its primary purpose is to scare the shit out on the user - after they have engaged in some foolish behavior - and then it displays a series of text segments that give a rough outline of what they just did wrong.

Only after all segments have been read does it display the exit Hotkey: Ctrl + Alt + M.

The exit Hotkey - Ctrl + Alt + M - can be used at anytime to exit the program if need be.

Skully has 2 different modes of operation:
   Normal Mode: Name the program anything you want and it will start the training about a minute after launch.
   Prank Mode: Give the program any name that starts with prnk (case is irrelevant) and it will launch with the
                      training segment disabled to just torment the user.

Note: Exit Code Ctrl + Alt + M is the same in both modes.

Planned Features
I may add some new penalties to keep things interesting.
I'd like to make the text segments user customizable.

Screenshots of the Application.

Pick a mode, pick a name, pick a target, drop it off and wait...

Using the Application
Please use responsibly.

Did I mention the Exit Hotkey was: Ctrl + Alt + M?

Highlight, delete, done.

Any tips for using it?

Be nice.

Known Issues
Are there any issues that users should know about?

God I hope not this thing has beat me to death trying to make sure it was stable.

This does capture and control the entire desktop -(Ctrl + Alt + M to exit)- So I spent an extensive amount of time testing to be sure it could be unloaded cleanly without taking the shell/current user session with it.

  And thanks for downloading Stoic Joker's Skully "Virus" Desktop Prank.
  It doesn't actually destroy, harm, or change anything... But it should
  scare the shit out of a few people in the process of not actually
  destroying, harming, or changeing anything..

  Press: Ctrl + Alt + M

Are there any other hotkeys?
  Ctrl + Alt + L   Initiates Harvest System Info Function
  Ctrl + Alt + N   Initiates "Tatical Mode", and pretends to delete all your stuff
  Ctrl + Alt + K   Initiates a "Derp Storm" of MessageBox's that jump around like fleas
  Ctrl + Alt + Space   Will end the Derp Storm immediately ... Or it will run forever.
               If user sucessfully manages to manually closes all 100 Derps, it
      (Not Yet Implimented)   will then offer to Delete Windows for them (and all answers are yes)
  Ctry + Alt + F   Run the Complete 1,000 Character Barf Cycle 9,000 Times Instead of Just the Normal 5
  Ctry + Alt + D   Hide Skully and ALL Output Panels - Will Now Display ALL Keystrokes More Randomly..
  Ctry + Alt + S   Show Skully and Basic Output Panels - Also Stops Character Barf Timer
  Ctry + Alt + A   Triggers Character Barf (includes D) - Kinda fun really, I'm thinking of making a Screensaver out of it.

Keystroke Penalties Are as Follows:
  10 - 14 = Identity Theft Spook Panel
  15 - 19 = Derp Storm of 210 little Windows
  20 & up = Random Character Screen Barf
-Read Me File

General Software Discussion / How to recover a MySQL Password?
« on: November 02, 2015, 09:22 AM »
Well I managed to goof, and somehow forgot to document the password for one of our MySQL servers. So I'm looking for password recovery options to try and minimize the impact of forcing my way back into the account. If it helps any ... The pw is stored in a copy MySQL workbench, so hopefully there are 2 possible angles of attack.

I do not want to just reset the password, because of the ripple chasing potential.

Any ideas?

Living Room / Trying to Create a New Logo
« on: September 14, 2015, 05:43 PM »
Okay... So my logo - which I lost the original for - was getting a bit tired, so I thought I'd try creating a new one. Below is what I managed to cobble together in Photoshop...Opinions/suggestions welcome.

Stoic Joker's Logo Small.png

I'm thinking about releasing (my first) an App for the Windows Phone ... So I thought it best to tidy up my image a bit before shooting myself in the foot. :D

Announce Your Software/Service/Product / Basic Calculator
« on: September 05, 2015, 11:27 PM »
New computer, new OS, and a new IDE (Visual Studio 2013) ... And no idea what to do with'em. So I thought I'd toss together a small idiot project while I was getting used to the new trinity (eek!).

And while looking for ideas it occurred that the new calculator that comes with Windows 10 is just about the fugliest piece of software I've ever seen. The Metro flat UI is just flat-out cringe worthy, to the point that I don't even care what sort of fun/handy stuff it can do ... I just can't stand to look at ghastly the thing.

So I put together a very basic -(and probably equally hideous when I sober up)- calculator using C#/NET4, and every silly assed UI option I could find in VS13.

Calculator SS.jpg

Download should be below...assuming I got it attached properly.

Living Room / New Computer
« on: August 19, 2015, 07:13 AM »
So it's time to put my now mildly arcane decade old flagship (Spunky-V) out to pasture. And to that end I got an HP Z440 Workstation (Base Package: L0P72UT#ABA) through the company. In years past I always built my own...but I just don't have time to do all the research necessary to effectively play the price point razor edge of leading/cutting edge hardware. So... since we're an HP ASP -(making a huge discount an option)- I decided to go - the lazy route - with a semi customized packaged box that had all the hardware matched for me.

Here be the Specs:
CPU: 6 core Xeon ES-1650 v3 (Turbos to 3.8GHz)
Video: ATi W5100 (with 4 DisplayPort outputs)
OS Drive: 256GB SSD
Storage Drive: 1TB RAID5 array.

I'm a bit nervous about the SSD ... But time will tell - At least it comes with a 3 year warranty..

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