East Texas Front Porch Philosophy:
• Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
• Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
• There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
• Never miss a good chance to shut up.
• Always drink upstream from the herd.
• If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
• The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.
• There are three kinds of men:
1. The ones that learn by reading.
2. The few who learn by observation.
3. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
• Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
• If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
• Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back.
• After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
************************************************
EDITOR’S NOTE: Life Behind the Pine Curtain is a series of anecdotes collected and edited by Herald-Press Publisher Gary Connor.
