Tis the Season, to Spam

[Stoic Joker]

I intentionally run an unfiltered mail server so I can soo what kind of nonsense is frolicking around out there in the wild. This makes support calls much simpler because I can simply ask if the user has received any mail purporting to be from ___ ... and know based on their response roughly what the extent of the damage is. Every now and then I get one that I truly find amusing for various reasons. I just received this one:

Code: Text [Select]

1. Los Angeles — Department of Motor Vehicles
2. TRAFFIC TICKET
3. POLICE AGENCY
4. THE PERSON CHARGED AS FOLLOWS
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7. Time: 9:12 AM
8. Date of Offense: 29/11/2011
9.  
10. Description:
11. SPEED OVER 90 ZONE
12. TO PLEAD, PRINT CLICK HERE AND FILL OUT THE FORM
13.  
14.  
15.  
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20. SHA512 check sum: df1a5b30e9c7d590e90eb83caf172df17df6417d590e9046e9ca59ca5b83041a59c722d5b83ca590e9ca5b83c72d5904646e9caf646417df646eb3c7d5b83c7d

Now skipping past the obvious issues like I've never been to LA, the DMV is a state agency, and Los Angeles is not a state, and that the DMV doesn't write traffic tickets... I rather enjoyed the infractions description for it's complete inability to make any sense what-so-ever:

The (completely) UnNamed Person Charged as Follows - Well if they haven't figured out my name yet I'm sure as hell not going to volunteer it.

Speed Over 90 Zone - Really??

In the 30 plus years I've been driving I've never in my life seen a 90mph speed zone - However if I had I'd have assuredly exceeded it by a fair percentage.

Is it trying to say I was traveling 90mph in excess of the posted speed limit? ...Now that's more like it (its happened before), however if I was indeed traveling that fast there's very little chance of my stopped to "discuss" it...

Strangely (according to the header) this was apparently replied to by (the nonexistant) support@mydomain - Which of course doesn't exist. Now wouldn't you thing it would make more sense to spoof a goverment address to add a bit of validity to this sham??

And of course, WTF is the checksum supposed to be for? Are long string of random characters supposed to scare people or something?

I may actually have to start a favorite spam collection, just so I can put this in it.

[eleman]

Perhaps the spam/fraud persons are from the more populous part of the world, where SI is used instead of imperial?

[JavaJones]

Hehe, nice. I actually *do* have a Gmail label for amusing/interesting/strange/fun spam. I don't put stuff in there often, most I don't even look at, but there are a few items.

Here's a sample subject line: "We are too lazy to change subjects every day, please buy our viagraa"
Heheheh. Honesty. Love it!

Or: "Kids can help you save your marriage. Try producing them with Spermamax."
Wow, bold advice.

I once got one promising me a "proskerous futkre". It took me a while to figure that one out, but from the moment I saw it I thought it was funny somehow. When I realized they meant "prosperous future", well I giggled pretty good for a while.

- Oshyan

[Deozaan]

What I don't understand are the e-mails that have "[Spam]" in the subject line.