stoic bassists...lol. Yeah, that is a thing. It's true about the listening thing, maybe that's why it seems the bassists are better at explaining stuff to the other members, because they listen better? I also struggle with any kind of extra ornaments when I play because it's hard enough for me to listen to everything and process it all. Maybe when I'm more of a pro I can let that go and do more intentionally interactive things.
-superboyac
See that's why I tell people that the first time you play with other people, you learn more than everything you've learned up to that point. A close second is the first time you do it on stage in front of an audience.
You shouldn't be too hard on yourself though. Here's a secret most guitarists and bassists don't even admit to themselves. Our instruments are designed to do a lot of the thinking for us. I don't just mean all the obvious advantages it gives us, like the ability to transpose between keys by shifting a hand up or down the neck. The guitar can even teach you how to write a song.
Don't believe me? Here's a Rolling Stones song my bass taught me when I was 17. Not the words obviously, but within a note of the exact riff and rhythm. Keep in mind, when I "wrote" it, I had been playing for about a month, had never taken a lesson, and never heard the song before.
Sit down with a guitar or bass and try it yourself. Pick any position on the fretboard and keep your hand there. In fact you don't even need to use your pinky. Just for fun, try the same thing with Jumping Jack Flash. You have to use your pinky, but only 2 strings instead of 3. For Satisfaction it's even down to just 1 string.
Nothing against Keith. He's a phenomenal rhythm guitarist, something almost as underrated as a good bassist. But a great songwriter? Hardly.
Back in the 90s I saw one of the best pieces of advice for guitar solos - from an 80s speed metal shredder no less. He said if you want to learn how to solo, don't listen to other guitarists. Listen to keyboard players because their solos are composed melodically instead of by finger patterns.
There's just a lot more thinking involved on piano than guitar, and that's without getting past the basics of 3 chord blues progressions. On bass I can even lose 3 strings and still be fine. I've never lost 3 at once, but I have lost my A string in mid-song, which is arguably the hardest one to do without. All I had to do was play chord roots - 1 4 5 - through the rest of the song (and set) and nobody besides the band even noticed.