Topics

26

Living Room / Bedtime Story

« on: December 06, 2007, 08:16 PM »

"Daddy, will you tell me a bedtime story?"

"Sure.  Once upon a time there were two variables."

"What were their names, Daddy?"

"We'll call them D and M.  And D and M were initialized together and were very happy.  And then one day, they, um... multiplied..."

"Is that a euphemism for anything, Daddy?"

"Not at all, dear.  Not at all.  Anyway, they multipled and the result was a bouncing baby variable named A."

"And they lived happily ever after!  Together!"

"Well, not quite.  You see, there was an another variable, who'd never bothered to get initialized.  His name was X."

"Ooooh.  Was he a bad variable?"

"Oh yes.  Because X wasn't initialized, he was a big fat zero.  And then, he tried to divide D and M!"

"Then what happened?"

"A horrible division by zero error!"

"Eek!"

"And then do you know what happened?"

"Tell me!"

"The bad old variable was taken out of the program, and then it compiled just fine.  The end."

"Um... Daddy?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"You still program in BASIC, don't you?"

"Ah... well, it's Visual Basic."

"Poor Daddy."

27

Living Room / The State the Art of 3D Printers

« on: December 06, 2007, 04:20 PM »

The Z Corporation ZPrinter 450 represents a middle-of-the-road solution to your 3D printing needs.

http://www.zcorp.com...nters/138/spage.aspx



What is 3D printing?  Imagine working with your favorite 3D modelling software, and when you hit the "Print" button, instead of getting a piece of paper with a picture of your creation, you get an actual 3D plastic model in full color. 



It's here, today, now.  For a cool $39,999 USD you can have the 3D printer of your dreams.  Oh sure, a cheaper monochrome model exists, as well as a top-end ultra-high resolution edition, but for everyday fantasies the Z450 can't be beat.  Like I'd know -- if I had $40K to drop on a printer the damn thing better come with beer taps and print real money.

But patience is your friend.  Remember when color laser printers cost as much as a car?  Now you can have one for the same price as a week's car rental.  I expect the same thing to happen with 3D printing.

But until that day comes, you'll have to do things oldschool.

28

Living Room / $4,450 World of Warcraft Edition Laptop

« on: December 05, 2007, 06:08 PM »

Via Wired's Gadget Lab, Dell Readies $4,450 WOW Laptop.



No.  Just... no.

29

Living Room / Your Power Suit is (Almost) Ready

« on: December 05, 2007, 10:43 AM »

Finally, my dreams are but a few hundred million bucks and a coupla years away.



Here is streaming video of a fully articulated powered exoskeleton, now under development by Ratheon:
http://www.liveleak....iew?i=109_1195663753

Sure, it's tethered.  Sure, it has an external power supply.  But my god: look at the ease with which the wearer does impossible tasks!  Lifting 200 pounds repeatedly with full, natural motion.  Running, walking, tip-toeing.  Dancing.

It looks cleverly designed, "getting out of the way" when the user wants to manipulate something bare-handed.  (One might imagine the dangerous hilarity of trying to, say, brush your teeth while wearing the thing.)

It navigates stairs, ramps, and the design suggests sitting or reclining is possible.

The makers even go so far as to say the skeleton can operate autonomously, while its human wanders off to do biological things.  Even if it's something as simple as coming when it's called ("here, boy!") that alone would be our first real application of humanoid robotics.  Truly, we are living in the future.

Once they get the power-pack integrated I can easily see applications for these everywhere.

And if anyone disagrees with that, we can settle this the old fashioned way: power-suit to power-suit.

30

Living Room / Destroying the World, One Server at a Time

« on: December 05, 2007, 10:00 AM »

BLDGBLOG links to these New Scientist and Money articles about the impact of our world IT infrastructure on the environment.  And let's just say, the environment is Not Happy.



http://bldgblog.blog...ure-of-humanism.html

One server alone, we read, has the "same carbon footprint as your average SUV doing 15 miles to the gallon. Yet, whereas the SUV is seen as a villain from the environmental perspective, the server is not."

By "server" I'm sure they mean the enterprise-class brutes your ISP is running 24/7 at the other end of your cable.

But still, an SUV?

As Money explained last summer, these "server farms" and "data centers" can each use up to "a small city's worth of electricity" – and most of that electricity goes toward "cranking up the air conditioning to make sure the computers don't literally melt themselves into slag."

The electricity of a small city?  Holy hydroelectric, Batman!  That's crazy bad.  I had no idea my innocent surfing and DonationCoder addition was sucking down that kind of juice.  Maybe I'll cut back on the pr0n.

What's really interesting is the tangent BLDG zips off on next: where does it make sense to build these humming shrines to Amazon and Google?  The answers are surprising and innovative, and give me hope for the future.  At least people are thinking about this now, and not when the Mad Max mutants are fighting over the last can of petrol.

Oh, and extra bonus points for teaching me a new phrase: "mouse potato".

31

Living Room / TOP 10 Signs of a Failing Presentation

« on: December 05, 2007, 08:56 AM »

10. PowerPoint spontaneously replaces your slides with images from its vacation to Peru.

9. The only question posed during the Q/A segment is, "Are you done yet?"

8. Audience begins laughing before you tell your opening joke.

7. More drool stains on conference table than usual.

6. You learn six new ways to say "you suck".

5. The guy with the giant hook edges ever closer from stage left.

4. Your projector breaks down halfway through and nobody notices.

3. You made the motivational speaker cry.

2. One emergency conference call, two fire drills, and a three-hour lunch break.

1. When you close with, "Thanks, and see you tomorrow!" your manager just laughs and shakes her head sadly.

(This one goes out to you, cranioscopical.  Mmmmwah!)

32

Living Room / When Acronyms Collide

« on: December 03, 2007, 12:54 PM »

From WSB-TV Atlanta comes this unfortunate(?) story of poor acronym selection by an airline.



http://www.wsbtv.com...14748793/detail.html

The acronym in question: MILF.  Obviously, that means "Many Islands, Low Fares".  Or so the airline in question insists.  However, there is conjecture that the marketeers who dreamed up the promotion knew exactly what they were doing, and some of the imagery in the ad campaign supports the theory.

So is it clever marketing?  Or did one hand not know what the other was doing over at Spirit Airlines?

And if you're not sure what a MILF is, Google is your friend.  After the room has been cleared of children and grandparents.

33

Living Room / Steven Jobs: iRobot

« on: December 02, 2007, 10:33 PM »

We learn from The Disney Blog news of Steve Jobs' participation in a Walt Disney World exhibit:
http://www.thedisney...steve-jobs-to-a.html

EPCOT is currently revamping their Spaceship Earth ride/exhibit -- the 180-foot-tall golfball thingie at the front of the park -- and expects to reopen early in 2008.  Spaceship Earth is the world's largest buckyball, and contains an elaborate historical show that spans "the entire history of mankind".  But since it's not been updated in awhile, time seems to have stopped in 1997 or so.

Many of EPCOT's rides have corporate sponsors, and Spaceship Earth's old sponsor -- AT&T -- just didn't give a damn.  The new sponsor, SIEMANS has spared no expense to overhaul every aspect of the ride, even re-theming it to include a stronger "technology" presence.  (Interesting aside: one sponsor considered but not selected was Microsoft, who wanted to build a high-speed thrill ride called "Time Chasers".  Unfortunately nobody told them it's impossible to gut a 25-year-old, 200-foot tall iconic symbol with any kind of efficiency, and when Microsoft saw the price tag they probably bolted.)

So long story short, we have SIEMANS running the place.  Which has nothing to do with Apple or Steve Jobs.  Huh?

Well, Steve's also head of Pixar.  Which was bought by Disney.

And since the ride overhaul involves a strong technology section, one diorama will depict a young Steve building the first Apple.  Presumably, as a Disney robot -- one of their audioanimatronics.  I just hope and pray the ride doesn't get stuck when I'm next to RoboJobs shouting "Insanely Great!" over and over again.

Conspicuously absent will be Steve Wozniak, Jobs' co-inventor of the Apple.  One must only assume that Woz holds no Disney stock.

Here's one scene I hope they don't do:


fig 1: In The Beginning

(Images snarfed from Guardian Unlimited and this lovely picture blog.)

34

Living Room / Top 10 Reasons Ralf is Still Awake after 31 Hours

« on: December 02, 2007, 03:27 PM »

10. About 50 liters of coffee.

9. Round yellow hot thing in the sky robs the earth of all darkness.

8. Screaming voices in his head got a nap around 3:30 AM and are now refreshed.

7. Still a whole season of Futurama to go.

6. Afraid to go to sleep because the crab-creatures will come out from beneath the bed.

5. Unshaven homeless look is teh new hotness.

4. Because when you sleep, that's when the pod people steal your conciousness.

3. Experimenting with new 40-hour workday.

2. Sleeping skills pushed out of brain by debit/credit accounting code.

1. Stupid customer forgot to mention an emergency must-have requirement, and Ralf learned of it yesterday afternoon.

35

General Software Discussion / RAM Use Pie Chart?

« on: December 01, 2007, 10:28 PM »

Anyone know of a real-time resource monitor thingie (like Sysinternals Process Explorer) that displays the amount of RAM used by each process, but with a summary pie-chart?  I envision each process having a slice of the pie, the biggest slices going to the biggest resource hogs.

Anyone?  Anyone?

Beuller?

36

Living Room / Possessed Hardware?

« on: November 30, 2007, 09:18 AM »

Today I came downstairs to my office and heard an odd "thrumm thrumm thrumm" noise eminating from the corner of the room where the paper shredder lives.

Seems the durn thing had started spontaneously during the night and had been running unattended for hours and hours.  There was a thin cloud of blue smoke in the room, with the definite tang of burning metal.  The case was too hot to touch, so I yanked the cord.

After checking its paper bin for body parts and blood, I plugged it in again and... it's dead, jim.  Maybe the thermal sensor finally triggered and it's gotta cool down for awhile, or maybe it's really and truly toasted.

I blame Satan.

Here's another one: a few years back, a friend who moved here from a cold weather climate woke up one morning to the sound of his car running outside his apartment.  Rushing out to thwart a carjacking, he discovered that the car was indeed happily idling... but there was nobody about, and all the doors were locked.

His theory: sometime during the night his cat had jumped on his key fob, initiating the car's remote starting feature.  There's no telling how long the car had been sitting there, patiently running, awaiting its owner.  He didn't remember how much gas he had when he parked it, so his worst case estimate was it'd been running most of the night.

Theoretically the remote start shouldn't have worked, since for safety, it requires the user hold the button down for many seconds.  And cats don't have opposable thumbs.

Again, I blame Satan.

Any other Satanic hardware sightings out there?

37

Living Room / Test Your Internet Connection for Packet Spoofing

« on: November 30, 2007, 12:35 AM »

The Electronic Frontier Foundation has published step-by-step instructions for determining whether your ISP is playing games with your packets. 

http://www.eff.org/w...ing-packet-injection



According to EFF findings, Comcast has been performing "packet injection" whereby they slip an additional extra something into your data stream, their fake packets pretending to be your packets, and thus hosing up BitTorrent and other P2P transfers.  Why?  Because P2P sucks up as much as 95% of overnight bandwidth.  And here, I thought it was the pr0n.

You'll need a friend with a computer and a copy of WireShark (the world's best free packet sniffer) to play.  Instructions for Linux, Mac, and Windows included.

38

Living Room / The Doppelgänger Effect

« on: November 30, 2007, 12:14 AM »

I stumbled across this interesting read at the Fortean Times, your usual stop for UFO news, bigfoot sightings, and other paranormal treats.

http://www.forteanti...pelgnger_effect.html



(I stole the LOL cats from I Can Has Cheezburger)

The article chronicles the weird coincidences surrounding paranormal investigators where somebody who looks and/or sounds exactly like them shows up on the scene and starts meddling in the investigation.  One of the most heavily documented events was during John Keel's investigation of the Mothman during the late 1960's.

Anyway, this article ought to have you jumping at your own mirror reflection, or (god help you) if you're really a twin, looking at your sibling with eyes all slitty like. 

It's fun stuff, and the whole Fortean web site is nifty too -- in small doses.  If, one day soon, your view of Sasquatch is blocked by fleets of UFOs abducting cattle near Area 51, you should probably take a break.

And now, a Doppelgänger personal account!  Yes, this really happened to me.  Twice.

Back in the late 1980's I lived in Houston, Texas.  There was a club there (Fitzgerald's) my friends and I would visit occasionally for live music and beer.  We'd go maybe three or four times a year.

One day I'm meeting my best friend for lunch, and when he arrives he starts quizzing me about where I was last night.  In fact, he's a little irritated at me.  Turns out he was at Fitzgerald's and saw me there!  Went over to talk with me (find out why I didn't invite him along) and half way through the conversation he realizes: this "me" doesn't know who the hell he is.  He's getting that "why is this stranger talking to me?" look on his face, like the next moment he's going to run away.  My friend gets very confused, assumes I'm being weird, and backs off.

Remember, this is my best friend.  We'd known each other for years.  He swore it was me, right down to the hair, eyeglasses, and what I was wearing.  After the Twilite Zone moment passes, we shrug it off and move on.

Here's where it gets weirder.

Another pal of mine calls me a week or so later and says she saw me at the mall.  Uh, what?  I've been here all day... haven't been to the mall in weeks.  She insists it was me, because "I" was wearing my favorite leather jacket.  After the prickles die down, I quiz her closely: the guy had my hair, glasses, and (according to her) moved like me.  She tried talking to "me" but I just walked off.

So... in the late 1980's my doppelgänger was alive(?) and functioning in Houston, Texas.  He had similar tastes in live music and shopping venues, and was probably sleeping with my girlfriend. 

Anyone here ever meet their evil twin?

39

Living Room / Journey to See the Center of the Earth

« on: November 29, 2007, 11:20 PM »

From the marvelous BLDG BLOG, comes this riff on the Ice Cube project: man's latest attempt to peer at what lurks in the center of earth.

http://bldgblog.blog...and-earths-core.html



What I like about BLDG is the tangental approach to science and technology.  Within the same article is speculation that maybe machines like this already exist and we've looked right past them, what would happen if the face of Jesus is revealed, Eggo waffles, and C4 explosives.

All in one magnificent link-strewn blog posting.  Check out the whole site; it's worth it.

40

General Software Discussion / Shut Up About Vista, Already

« on: November 29, 2007, 09:49 PM »

Found this HappyJoyJoy article about Vista on CyberNet, culminating with the suggestion that we should all quit whining about it.

http://cybernetnews....7/11/27/vista-sucks/



You know my opinion of Vista by now, and I'm sure you have one too.  Whether you love Vista or think it's the new WindowsME doesn't matter; everyone has their own expectations and experiences, which is as it should be.  In other words, you are perfectly correct to love or loathe Vista in whatever fashion suits you.

I hold this article up, however, as a piece of propaganda.  Here's the core bit:



Got that?  Because people complained about XP when it came out, that invalidates the complaints about Vista now.  That's a little like getting mugged at the airport, and when it happens again people just roll their eyes and say, "there he goes getting mugged at the airport again; quit whining about it."

Ignoring the fact that even their examples are flawed (Vista's been out for 13+ months; business adoption rates for Vista are tanking; most Bird Flu victims are Vista users) the conclusion is jaw-dropping, especially for a technology web site.  Generally speaking, if customers are complaining, there's something wrong.

Finally, the two linked articles at the end are choice reads also.  One's a link to a happy Vista-using magazine editor who debunks the myth that Vista has slow bootup/shutdown times.  His methodology? He tweaks the test machines to remove functionality, in one case unplugging a USB drive.  See, because the drive had a FAT partition on it, it slowed down the boot.  What?  WHAT? Isn't that kind of normal to have multiple partitions on a drive?  Isn't that a FEATURE?  Good god, what would Vista do if there was a Linux partition on that drive?  Explode?

Oh, and here's another Knowledge Knugget: your browser boots faster if you uninstall the plug-ins.

See?  It's not Vista causing the problem... it's all this crap you people keep installing on it!  Vista'd be just fine if you'd leave it alone.  Leave poor Vista alone, you animals!  *sob*

By stripping down his machine so it boots in 90 seconds he proved anyone bashing Vista is an idiot.  And Vista users: you can even make money by selling those useless USB drives on eBay!

Look... I know Vista's not one of the signs of the Apocalypse.  Microsoft will get its act together and fix things and by this time next year workstations will be faster so we won't notice what a bloated sweaty pig Vista is, and eventually all the teeth gnashing will die down.

Just as it did with XP. 

But dammit, *I* will be the one to decide when I am satisfied, and I reserve the right to cast disdain on products that do not meet my expectations.  Ignoring the problem, drinking the Kool Aid, and giggling over how pretty Vista is will not make things better.

41

Living Room / You Are All Terrorists!

« on: November 29, 2007, 02:51 AM »

Non-US residents, you may cover your eyes now.  The following is strictly an American exercise in overreaction...

According to the always excellent Ars Technica, the US government is considering new legislation that would treat the internet as a terrorist tool.

http://arstechnica.c...grown-terrorism.html



This isn't the only article out there on HR 1955 (the Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act of 2007), but I found it the most level-headed.  Despite a small technical flaw (Ars Technica reports that Congress is considering the bill, when in actual fact it's passed Congress and is now to be considered by the Senate) they do a reasonable job of covering the relevant bits.  For instance, there's only one section pertaining to the internet, and it's basically an acknowledgement that terrorists could use the 'net for bad things.

However, it makes me squirm when I think about wrinkly old men who have their email read to them considering technological issues.  It would be all too easy to take the foot-in-the-door this bill represents and kick it wide open.  The presumption of guilt before innocence is just a goose-step away.

Hopefully, sanity will prevail once the net-savvy lobbies have their say.  Hopefully.

But even if that happens, and a modified version passes without specifically mentioning the 'net, funds will be allocated to form "research groups" that will look into how the internet can be used to facilitate terrorism.  Along with ways to detect and deter, one would assume. 

Feeling safer?  Maybe not.  But if you're an internet security consultant, prepare for good times.

42

Living Room / Inspirational Star Trek Posters

« on: November 28, 2007, 08:12 AM »

Hang a few of these up to inspire and/or confuse your office mates:



http://echosphere.ne.../star_trek_insp.html

Even if your coworkers are Trek-impaired the memes have worked their way deeply into our cultural memory.  If you still get blank stares, treat it as an opportunity to explain that Deep Space Nine wasn't the first Star Trek show, that Yeoman Rand was a raging drug addict in real life, or that Kirk never actually uttered the words, "Beam me up, Scotty."

And yes, William Shatner really was a dick to work with, sometimes.

43

General Software Discussion / AutoPatcher's Back!

« on: November 28, 2007, 07:56 AM »

Remember AutoPatcher?  The free alternative to Windows Update that Microsoft had shut down?  Well, they're baaaaaack...

http://cybernetnews....her-windows-updater/



It's a brand new app, and an early beta so don't expect 100% bug-free goodness yet.  And it only supports  Windows 2000, XP, and Server 2003.  But I don't care -- AutoPatcher's back!

Link to the forum entry where you can get the new beta client here. 

44

Living Room / What's Your Favorite Productivity or Programming Supplement?

« on: November 28, 2007, 06:30 AM »

Forget compilers, forget IDEs, forget debuggers.  Everyone knows programmers love to overclock their perception during crunch time, or sometimes to make dull jobs more interesting.  Sure, it also means we procrastinate more efficiently, but face it: without at least one of these tools in your arsenal you're not a coder -- you're just somebody that plinks around on a keyboard.

If you're of the "my body is a temple" persuasion, go away.  Anyone who can do yoga while working a keyboard would work twice as fast with a caffeinated bloodstream; you're not living up to your potential.

Select all that apply, but if you feel compelled to check them all -- you might expect an intervention.

UPDATE: Modified the description to better match the multi-selectivity of the new poll format.

45

Living Room / TOP 10 Indicators the War in Europe Isn't Going So Well

« on: November 27, 2007, 09:00 PM »

10. Instead of "Heil, Hitler!" minions now greet you with "Hi, Shitler!"

9. Eva keeps talking about that handome and distinguished Churchill fellow.

8. All correspondence from Verner Von Braun now has a return address of "White Sands, New Mexico, USA".

7. Door-to-door salesmen at bunker entrance dressed suspiciously like US Marines.

6. Disneyland, Paris.

5. Taunting email from MacArthur hurts more than before.

4. Staff looks uncomfortable when you ask what they'll be doing over the holidays.

3. All these time-travellers from 2069 asking you to sign their copies of "The Last Days of Hitler".

2. American armor batallions rudely ignore Berlin in-city speed limits.

1. Your discovery that cyanide tastes a little like blueberries.

46

General Software Discussion / Google GDrive: Coming Soon

« on: November 27, 2007, 09:40 AM »

From Wired news comes an update on the near-mythological GDrive service:

http://blog.wired.co...the-fabled-gdri.html



Not to be confused with GMail Drive, GDrive will be the officially sanctioned humungous drive-in-the-sky that Google hopes will become your main shared repository of offline data.  The rumored client software (code name Platypus) adds a GDrive icon to your My Computer for simple access; data-save speeds are stated to be as fast as local storage.

Naturally, there will be an open API with encouragement for 3rd party add-ons and whatnot.  Google's pricing strategy is murky, but one thing is certain: a basic GDrive account will be free and if you want more, you'll pay. 

Privacy and security issues aside, will this be a good thing?  For the vast majority of everyday users, the ones for whom internet storage is a mysterious concept, yes.  Give them a brainless interface and a few gigabytes of magic storage and you'll be hard pressed to find people without a GDrive icon.

Will file sharing be permitted?  Do polar bears make yellow snow?  Of COURSE it will be... which will poke the entertainment industry with an even sharper stick.  It'll be interesting to see what kind of fury will be unleashed, with Google being the 6000 pound gorilla and all.  Nobody wants to piss off Google:  "Okay, Sony, here's the deal... we'll restore all your search engine links if you drop your lawsuit."

And what'll the fallout be for Microsoft and anyone else eyeing the offline storage market?  Is this good old fashioned competition, or will GDrive be the gun brought to a knife fight?

47

General Software Discussion / .NET Application Startup Times

« on: November 26, 2007, 03:41 PM »

General question for .NET experts...

Why do .NET applications (programs compiled using Visual Studio 2003 or newer) take so frikkin long to load?

And what the heck is with all the disk activity?  I have some very tiny utilities that take 15-20 seconds to start and run the disk drive like a defragger.  More complicated apps using a different compiler boot up faster.

So what's going on behind the scenes?  Or have I just been unlucky enough to stumble across a few unoptimized .NET apps?

48

General Software Discussion / Why the Windows Registry Exists

« on: November 26, 2007, 11:22 AM »

Raymond Chen asks "Why are INI files deprecated in favor of the registry?" then goes on to explain why:

http://blogs.msdn.co...523907.aspx#comments



Basically a big bullet list of why Windows outgrew .INI files.

The registry tried to address these concerns. You might argue whether these were valid concerns to begin with, but the Windows NT folks sure thought they were.

Frankly, it makes sense.  The NT development team saw a world of commercial software spinning out of control with thousands of unmanaged .INI files crammed into the Windows (well, WinNT) folder and came up with the registry as a solution.  Love it, hate it, you're stuck with it -- so here's some salve for your impotent rage: at least now you know WHY they did it.

And as usual, the comments are worth a read as well.

49

Living Room / Top 10 Signs You May Have Overclocked Your PC Too Much

« on: November 26, 2007, 10:03 AM »

10. Powering it on requires 40 minutes of manual adjustments and a room full of chanting monks.

9. You can make microwave popcorn by placing a bag near the case.

8. Agreement with the local power authority to operate your PC only during the hours of 2:00 and 6:00 AM.

7. You can't remember what a gallon of gasoline costs, but you can name what liquid nitrogen is selling for to the penny.

6. You buy Intel CPUs in the handy 12-pack.

5. Next door neighbors call police to complain about the sound of illegal drag races.  In your house.

4. You achieve 20,000 FPS on Crysis and finish the game in 95 seconds.

3. Your room maintains a toasty 75F degrees, despite the fact it's -30F outside and you've stopped paying the heating bill.

2. You have to "top off" your liquid cooling system every 15 minutes.

1. The only advice you get from fellow overclockers anymore is, "Run!  Get out of the house, NOW!"

50

Living Room / Top 10 Ways to Destroy the Earth

« on: November 25, 2007, 10:09 PM »

No, this isn't one of my stupid Top 10 lists; this is an article about what it would take, energy & effort-wise, to completely destroy the earth.  It's broken up into 10 easy-to-digest slides, and includes a material list for each project.

http://www.livescien...estroy_earth_mp.html



If anyone succeeds in destroying the earth, please post your methodology here.