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Topics - Ralf Maximus [ switch to compact view ]

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76
Living Room / Buy a new harddrive, get a virus
« on: November 12, 2007, 07:35 PM »
Unbelievable.  Via MaximumPC comes the news that certain Maxtor harddrives sold since August 2007 come pre-installed with the Virus.Win32.AutoRun.ah virus.

It's always nice to get something for free, but Maxtor... you're trying too hard.

77
Living Room / Hardiman!
« on: November 12, 2007, 02:17 PM »
Via BoingBoing comes news of the greatest thing ever in the history of the universe.   Hardiman!

hardiman2.jpg

Created by General Electric in 1965 and abandoned due to technical difficulties, the Hardiman would have allowed its operator to lift 1500 pounds as easily as a beer.  Ridley Scott James Cameron later perfected the technology andloaned it to the Colonial Marines to fight Aliens.

ripley-powerloader.jpg

Okay, so it's 2007, a solid 40 years since Hardiman.  Where's my power exo-suit?  Surely they've overcome the feedback problems now?  I want Hardiman!

UPDATE: Forgot that James Cameron directed the Aliens movie, not Ridley Scott.  Do'h!

78
Living Room / Top 10 Signs You're Coding Too Much
« on: November 11, 2007, 09:22 AM »
10. You can't remember you children's exact names, so you try to invoke the Object Browser to find them.

9. Instead of hitting the "snooze" button on your alarm clock, you try to debug it.

8. During a boring teleconference, you find youself wishing you could invoke the debugger and step out of the current subroutine.

7. You idly wonder if your car's calculating speed and RPM using floating point or a really big unsigned integer.

6. You've never actually played that new FPS game you bought, but by golly you know how to mod it.

5. You buy a new harddrive because the old one is full.  Of half-completed software projects.

4. You get an instant-message from your wife, and you force her through a brief turing test before actually accepting it *is* your wife.

3. Your collection of programming books is larger than your collection of DVD movie titles.

2. It never crossed your mind to include French and German on the list of "Languages, fluent in" on your resume.

1. When asked when you'll be ready to take a break and go get something to eat, you *literally* cannot answer.

79
Living Room / Save the Earth! From evil parasitic power packs...
« on: November 11, 2007, 08:58 AM »
Via SlashDot comes this press-releasy kind of article:

New technology allows Fujitsu Monitors to consume zero power on standy

Basically, they use capacitors, a small solar array, and old-school relays to restore your monitor after it goes to standby.  Aside from an audiable "click" as the relay triggers, there's no difference in user experience than what we have now.  And it draws zero AC power while asleep.  Cool.

It's about damn time.

Now, consider this... if you were to walk around your home/office/cell and switch off every electronic device you own, how much power would you still be consuming?

Don't forget the little black power-packs plugged into the wall for recharging your phone, Ni-Cads, and everything else portable.  What about your stereo system, with it's lying green "Off" light?  Or your big-screen TV?

Add it all up and I bet it's MORE than the 8% average quoted in the article, since you -- dear reader -- probably have six times as much electronic crap than the average human.  Without conciously meaning to, we early adopters of cool tech are wasting more power than the rest of humanity.  We should probably keep this quiet lest they notice -- pitchforks and burning torches are easily understood low-tech for the masses.

So what can we do?  Let's talk about those evil black power supply bricks first. 

One idea I had: How about a small device that plugs into the AC socket *between* the device and the wall?  It would look like a single-socket foreign AC adaptor with prongs on one side and a plug on the other.

On top of the device would four small buttons: ON, OFF, SMART, and LEARN.

ON and OFF are self-explanitory (I hope).

LEARN mode is used when the device is first plugged in with a host power-brick.  Plug the whole assemby in, then connect your brick to whatever device it needs to power such that it's drawing a full load.  LEARN mode makes a note of the current demand made on the AC socket side of things.

Once LEARN mode does its thing, switch it to SMART.  Thereafter, whenever the brick draws less than the current threshold previously LEARN'd, it shuts off power completely -- basically OFF mode.

After that the user must manually tap the SMART button to reactivate the power.  Sure, it's an extra step and may be inconvenient if your AC adaptor is behind a 500 pound piece of furniture, but this is FOR THE PLANET, DAMMIT!  Also, it won't be applicable to devices that must always be on (medical equipment, security alarms) but for most of the consumer goodies we have it would make sense.

Package the device in garish blue/green eco-friendly recyclable card-stock (pictures of lush green meadows and hippies optional) and label it EARTH POWER DEFENDER (or something) and sell them for $9.99 a piece.  We'll make a fortune. 

So...  who around here can work a soldering iron?

80
General Software Discussion / Maybe Vista doesn't suck?
« on: November 09, 2007, 12:23 AM »
I'm still not a convert, but this short article goes a long way towards explaining what I miss from sticking with XP.  The speech-recognition video is especially intriguing, especially since I've experimented with XP's speech functionality and found it wanting.

Maybe it's because I don't have a cool British accent?

81
Living Room / Wedgie-Proof Underwear!
« on: November 07, 2007, 06:40 AM »
BREAKING NEWS: Cancer Has Been Cured Wedgie-Proof Underwear Invented!

This may be old news to some of you undergarment scholars, but a pair of 8-year-old twins has invented possibly the most important thing of the new millenium.  (Utterly harmless and SFW YouTube video.)


82
General Software Discussion / Perfect Software?
« on: November 07, 2007, 12:26 AM »
I've noticed a kind of zeitgeigstial interest in "old" software, or previous versions of current software.  There appears to be a resurgence of web sites devoted to past releases of MP3 players, IM clients, and productivity suites.

This leads me to a thought and a question: does anyone know of a software company that said at some point, "this thing we make is as good as it needs to be, so we're not going to improve it anymore?"

I'm not thinking of projects where the developers ran out of steam, lost interest or capital -- I mean cases where somebody made an executive decision that anything more would be needless and bloatful.

Think how different the world would be if instead of Vista we had XP 2007, or Outlook went feature-complete in 2000.  Or if WinAmp stopped at 2.x.  I'm beginning to wonder if the "always add new stuff" mentality is starting to wane, if companies will notice the trend and question their direction.  Are we outgrowing the "newer is always better" mentality of the 90's?  Or are we forever doomed to next year's model?

So... any stories of arrested development?

83
Living Room / Available Oct 31 only: Haunted Mansion Icons
« on: October 31, 2007, 10:32 AM »
One of my favorite websites that combines Disney with computers is DisneyExperience.  Today only (Oct 31st, Halloween) they're offering a set of free Mac & Windows icons for your desktop.

Enjoy!

84
Here it is, the final installment of my Halloween Trilogy of Bedwetting.  After this I won't be posting any more stories here, unless a special occasion pops up. 

This time, we explore the greasy white underbelly of secret underground bases and UFOs.  Somebody's mad at the airforce, and it's not Jeannie.  (I swear, not all my stuff is this dark!)

WARNING: Contains strong language such as "poofy-goo" and "fiddlesticks".  If you (or your Boss) is offended by such, consider it NSFW.

85
Developer's Corner / Using Office 2003 OCR in your own programs
« on: October 31, 2007, 09:16 AM »
Interesting article here at CodeProject:
http://www.codeproje....com/office/modi.asp

Bascially, you can OCR documents with but a few lines of code using the Office MODI library, included free in Office starting with 2003.   And (according to the article) the results are quite impressive!


86
Living Room / Tourettes extension for FireFox
« on: October 30, 2007, 07:57 AM »
With handy instructional video:
http://fffff.at/tourettes-machine/

The "extreme" version adds curse words every other time, while the lite version adds a surprise once every 3-5 hours.  Sounds like an office prank in the making...

Sourcecode is included, with instructions for rolling your goddamn own.


87
Living Room / Cry Wolf: Another Halloween Trick
« on: October 29, 2007, 08:53 AM »
This time it's werewolves, and the story dates back only a few years.  Maybe 2004ish.

WARNING: This one contains some naughty language and "adult situations" (as they say on TV).  It's probably NSFW assuming your boss can actually read.

Thanks,
Ralf

88
General Software Discussion / More Vista Fun and Games
« on: October 28, 2007, 12:23 AM »
According to MaximumPC, Vista forces you to revalidate your installation if you change device drivers "too much":
http://www.maximumpc...n_time_to_fight_back

In other words, if you're a rampant upgrader -- always installing the latest video card driver, for instance -- Vista's piracy detection is triggered and it thinks you're trying to run it on a new, unlicensed workstation.  You then have to re-register Vista either by running the Wizard or calling Microsoft on the phone.

Luckily there appear to be workarounds (documented in the article), but honestly, Vista's security model is a little nuts and needs to be changed. 

Do Mac users suffer through this?  I know Apple is ape-shit paranoid about its ROMS, but do Macs care if you copy disk images around or reinstall OS X on an older Mac?

89
Via Appaholic, Found a neat little freebie, YzShadow:
http://appaholic.wor...-window-for-windows/

Only takes up 8M RAM, and adds beautiful alpha-blended drop shadows to every window on your desktop.  Performance on low-end video cards can take a hit, but if you're jealous of the OS X desktop this is one step closer for Windows users.

Hint: The readme doesn't say so, but make sure you unzip "with folders" or the Language folder + files can't be found by the app, resulting in an impenetrable japanese error message.

90
Living Room / Exoskeletal
« on: October 27, 2007, 05:41 PM »
Halloween draws ever nigher, its hot breath stinking of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and Twix.  Try to hide, but it's no use: even the local grocery store has sprouted displays of ghosts & witches, all taunting you with hollow plastic eyes. 

So why should this place be any different?

I hereby offer a Halloween story for your amusement.  It's something I wrote back in 2001, an exercise in dissecting a dream and nailing it to paper, in the hopes it would give respite.  Alas, the dream lives yet, but now I also have this cursed story.  Perhaps by sharing it, the burden will be lessened...

I give you: EXOSKELETAL!

91
Living Room / Windows Install Date Thingie: I made it!
« on: October 26, 2007, 11:26 AM »
Ever wonder when your copy of Windows was installed?  Me neither.

But, today I was poking around in the registry and stumbled across this key:
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows NT\CurrentVersion\InstallDate

Which is a dword value holding the number of seconds since that fateful day you reinstalled windows last.
(Actually, an offset from 12 midnight, 1/1/1970.)

So naturally I had to write a little applet to pull the value and display it in an easy-to-read format.  As a bonus, you get a real-time update, for those of us with compulsive disorders.

Please download your copy today, and report back the oldest living Windows installation.  The winner will get a hearty thumbs-up and a stern reminder to knock-on-wood.

Thanks,
Ralf

PS... Is there a forum better suited for posting goofy self-written goodies like this?  If so, feel free to move it, forum gods.

UPDATE #1: Edited the reg key for accuracy.  D'oh!
UPDATE #2: Edited description of what the dword stores.  Feh.
UPDATE #3: New 1.1 version has Windows uptime display.

92
To all users,

These are reported bugs and requested features thus far. Please reply to this thread with a feature request or bug report.  Once we receive it, we will prioritize the request and update its status as it gets updated by Ralf. Thanks for your help!

Team RalfPocalypse

--

1. BUG: When maximizing the main menu, computer reboots.

2. BUG: When workstation reboots, RalfPocalypse is automatically started (despite user settings) and main menu is maximized.

3. BUG: Playback of MP3 files is problematic when voice-recognition mode activated.  Lyrics from certain rap titles cause unintended program operation.

4. REQUEST: Reduce popup tray notifier font size from 198pt to 10pt.

5. REQUEST: Make automatic renaming of critical Windows files default to "Off".

6. BUG: Rotating "RalfPocalypse" animation displays upside down for Australian users.

7. REQUEST: Please remove all graphic and text references to "Giant Radioactive Red Lobster".  (Their lawyers called again.)

8. BUG: Clicking the "Exit" icon or selecting File/Exit maximizes the main menu.

9. BUG: PDF converter applies 4096-bit encryption without prompting, and without notifying the user of the password.

10. BUG: RalfPocalyse contacts its Automatic Updater service approximately 30 times per second, even when downloading an update.

11. BUG: Modem users report random profanity and the phrase "get broadband now, loser" inserted into text stream.

12. REQUEST: Please add pronouns to spelling checker.

13. REQUEST: CTRL-ALT-SHIFT-SPACE-F5-BREAK hotkey is difficult to manage on standard keyboard.

14. REQUEST: Reassign default "maximize" hotkey from "Enter".

15. BUG: "Mega Compression Mode" reduces file size to 1 byte, regardless of input file size.

16. BUG: Login ID appears to be hardcoded to "John Smallberries" and attempts to change it result in the message "You are our only hope, Buckaroo Banzai" with subsequent logoff.

17. BUG: Countdown timer stops at :03 with the message "That was close!"

18. BUG: If workstation has subwoofer attached, background "throbbing" noise induces subconcious feelings of unease, depression, and random terror.

19. BUG: Calendar function displays every third Wednesday as "Shmegglesday".

20. REQUEST: When displaying financial data, please avoid use of hexadecimal.

21. REQUEST: Remove national slurs from "International Settings" dialog.

22. BUG: Screensaver burns smiley face pattern into some Acer brand LCD displays.

23. BUG: Fax feature sends random document regardless of file selected.

24. REQUEST: Allow user to designate another folder for saving files other than "Recycle Bin".

25. BUG: Service Pack 3 cannot be uninstalled.

 

93
Living Room / "HDD Not Included"
« on: October 23, 2007, 09:59 AM »
Found this gizmo, and it sure looks sweet:
http://www.geekstuff...&products_id=630

For $46.79 US you get a desktop slot/holder for one 2.5" or 3.5" SATA disk drive.  Like me, you probably have a few surplused drives laying around, and swapping them in/out of a dedicated USB enclosure is too much of a hassle. 

I think I'll get one of these and see how it goes.  Can't beat 200GB removable media!

Or shoot, I'll line my desktop with 'em!  RAID 5 here I come!  Oh, wait... it's USB...

94
Living Room / Clever Programmerisms
« on: October 22, 2007, 07:41 AM »
"Never test for a condition you do not know how to handle."

95
Living Room / Dell Outlet Store!
« on: October 21, 2007, 09:13 AM »
After many years of building my own workstations, or paying a local chop-shop to assemble my hardware, I came to the conclusion that any money saved was offset by any problems I encountered with the new machine.  If it's just a gaming PC that's one thing, but mission critical servers or your primary workstation should be reliable.

That's when I discovered the Dell Outlet Store, the best of both worlds:
http://www.dell.com/...s&l=en&s=dfo

Here, online, you can find the machine of your dreams for CHEAP, built with Dell quality, and backed up with a full factory warranty!  For a few bucks extra, you can even get a 3-year on-site service agreement where some poor slob who isn't you has to fix your computer.  If you're getting a PC for your mom or dad, this option is a must.

Why does the Dell Outlet Store exist?  Why is their stuff cheaper?  Why is it not total crap?

According to American trade laws, if a "new" computer leaves the Dell factory for any reason, but is returned, it cannot be sold as new any more.  That means that if somebody built a fire-breathing dual SLI gaming rig, had it shipped COD, but didn't have a check ready -- the machine is returned to Dell.  And rather than write it off as a loss, they resell it through the Outlet almost for cost.

I know this, because that happened to me.  Last year I wanted to buy my wife a gaming rig for christmas.    Her specifications: "It has to be red."  Armed with these detailed specs, I went shopping at all my usual cheap hardware places.  On a whim, I tried the Dell Outlet, and ended up buying her an XPS tower, 3GHz machine (overclocked) with 2 SLI geForce cards and 1GB of RAM.  In Red.  This machine sells for close to $3000 in the catalog, but the Outlet had one listed for $995.

To be fair, it was listed as "refurbished return" so I had no idea what cosmetic shape it would be in.  But shoot, $995 for that machine?  If it came to me dented & scratched I'd keep it for my own workstation.

When it arrived, it was breathtaking.  Absolutely pristine and perfect, booted up the first time and has been running 24/7 ever since Christmas morning 2006.  The cardboard box, however, had multiple COD stickers and lots of handwritten notes -- clearly, somebody had bought the machine but failed to pay for it.

Not every machine there is a COD return.  Many are legitimate warranty failures, fixed by Dell and ready to be sold.  Others are "scratch and dent" babies, having been abused in the factory before ever seeing a customer.  Still others may be demo models, used by Dell salespeople.  But all are clearly marked with their story so you can steer your selection accordingly, if you so choose.

The only thing to remember about the Dell Outlet is that every machine there is unique, and while they can be customized/upgraded you'll rapidly approach the price of a "new" computer if you let Dell do it.  Some computers will have no CD or DVD drive, some will have two DVD's and one CD writer, some will have 2GB RAM, others 256M.  It pays to read the specifications for each one.  Some configurations are so ludicrous you have to wonder what the customer was thinking.

Also, for some reason the laptop section of the Outlet store is disappointing.  The prices there are almost the same as for a new laptop... perhaps because the laptop market is so competitive and there's little margin?  Whatever; I just am not impressed.

Yes, there are many cheap places to buy hardware online, but rarely can you find a combination of quality and support for such a low price.  The Dell Outlet Store is worth a look.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a Dell employee, do not know any Dell employees, do not have any relationship with Dell aside from my having bought shootloads of stuff from them over the years.  Yes, their phone support sucks sometimes (I've written about it) and their printers were designed by Satan to confound even the smartest of us.  My wife did meet Michael Dell one time and reports that he's a "nice man" with warm hands, a sweet smile, and dreamy eyes that swallow your soul.  Should I be worried?

96
Living Room / FOUND: Free Internet Dial-Up Access
« on: October 17, 2007, 08:19 AM »
In this world of high-speed broadband, it's easy to forget that some folks are still using dial-up modems.  A recent project of mine required that the app be usable even under the slowest internet conditions, and I was stuck: how to test this beast without broadband?

Mystery solved!  I dug out my old US Robotics and used this free service:
http://www.nocharge.com/connect.htm

NoCharge offers free dial-up access with phone numbers in the Pacific Northwest and New England.  If you live in either of these regions, or (like me) have flat-rate long-distance, you can dial up and be online in just a few minutes.  Absolutely free.  Ah, the sweet sound of a modem connecting... it's been too long, my old friend.  *sob*

Either select one of their many phone numbers to dial and configure your connection manually, or download their little dialer app that comes pre-loaded with every number.

It really is no-strings attached, and seems to work wonderfully.  AND it peacefully co-exists with my broadband connection so I can live in the 21st century but visit the 1980's whenever I want.  (You'll want to temporarily disable your usual broadband connection to experience maximum slowness.)  But be aware: if you need technical support, their number is a 1-900 line so be prepared to pay by the minute.

DISCLAIMER: I am not connected with this web site or service in any way, shape, or form.  While it worked for me, there is no guarantee it will work for you.  Dialing any of these numbers from outside the local area codes WILL incur long distance charges.  Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.  Visiting the '80s more than twice in one week may result in break dancing, Rubik's cube solving, an addiction to music videos, and accidental purchase of Members Only outer wear.  If symptoms persist, consult your local Starbucks.

97
Living Room / COLOURlovers
« on: October 16, 2007, 08:59 PM »
Are you color blind, or as I am, simply color-impaired?  Then you need this:
http://www.colourlovers.com

Really fun site with zillions of color palettes ready to go.

UPDATE: Added screenshots.

98
Post New Requests Here / REQUEST: Picture Codyfier
« on: October 16, 2007, 01:11 PM »
Would like a small app that takes any bitmap and inserts an image of Cody into it, with random placement.

Why?

Because I told my daughter that Cody really exists, but can only be seen using a special digital camera, which I happen to have.  But now she's called my bluff.

99
Living Room / Use video RAM as a swap disk?
« on: October 11, 2007, 10:27 PM »
Found this link via BoingBoing:
http://gentoo-wiki.c...n_video_card_as_swap

Briefly, it describes how to set up RAM in an old video card so that Linux can use it as a fast(?) RAMdisk.  Very interesting idea, for a number of reasons I thought of:

- video ram, espcially in newer cards, can be substantial: 512MB or 1GB;

- video ram is usually optimized to be very fast, with direct CPU access and wide data paths;

- depending on hardware, you may be able to leverage insanely fast hardware memory move/copy functions, transformations, etc.  (Though I think applying hardware texture shading to a block of data would be, erm, counterproductive...)

The article leaves it as an exercise for the user to actually implement the thing, does not delve into performance much, and warns that video memory is not ECC protected and thus may not be as stable as "real" RAM.  To this I say "pish posh", but then I like to juggle flaming chainsaws in a pool of gasoline.

What are your thoughts on this?  How would you like a Windows driver that allocated half your video RAM as a swap disk?  I mean do you really need all that stuff when you're not playing BioShock?

Could one use DirectX to get at the RAM?

How feasible/desireable is this for real world applications once you get past the "holy shiat that's cool" factor?

100
General Software Discussion / Question: Quickest way to receive spam?
« on: October 09, 2007, 02:52 PM »
Odd request perhaps, but...

I'm about to begin testing some anti-spamware (popfile, spamato, expurgate) and would like to receive a LOT of spam at some specially designated mailboxes for the test.

What's the quickest way to "notify" spammers that a particular address is ripe for attack?

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