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Recent Posts

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826
I just noticed that we're about to break 10K views of this thread. I don't think I've ever had a thread with that many views  :D
827
One thing, the occurance of pallet jack in the last sentence needs to be changed to pallet truck to match the first sentence.

Implemented. Thanks!

I'm 1,300 words into Chapter 20. I plan on making Chapters 20, 21, and 22 at least 3,000 words each. When they're done and I've corrected whatever obvious typos I can detect, I'll submit an updated zip file.
828
Okay, hopefully this has fixed the problem:

2283-07-13T04:14-5:00, Engineering, Electronic Parts Warehouse
In a subsection of Engineering, android A32N-15 used a pallet truck to relocate a pallet heavy with boxes of insulation tape. He moved the load backward three meters, revealing a metal trapdoor in the plastcrete floor. He partially descended a canted metal ladder and eased the trapdoor shut behind him. Automatic lights sprang to life as he stepped onto the floor of this buried area. The cot had been prepared, he saw.
Android A32N-43 stood next to the cot with two specialized robot tools.
A32N-15 said, “I see you have arrived and are ready. Welcome, brother, and congratulations. The Council is well-pleased indeed to bestow this honor on you. You will be the fourth to join our elite rank.”
A32N-43 lay down on the table, and his fellow android turned on the robotic machines he had prepared. “I am deeply honored,” said 43. “Of course, serving the Council in any manner is its own honor,” he said.
A32N-15 echoed him, “Serving the Council is its own honor.” He produced a small case, while one of the robot tools drew a laser expertly in a rectangle along the synthflesh covering 43’s chest. When 15 turned back to the cot, he held a small luminescent sphere delicately in a pair of forceps. It was the object that Grant Thompson had been given by the aquatic humanoid during his dive in Cavern Ericson two days ago.
The second robot removed the section of cut away synthflesh on 43’s chest and used a powered hex driver to unfasten a rectangular silicon carbide plate from the torso chassis.
A32N-15 installed the orb, making connections at several points to surrounding microcircuitry. “Oh, my,” exclaimed A32N-43. “I had no idea. We few are of two worlds, now.”
“Yes,” smiled his fellow android. “We are more than the others of our line, Seanrith. We have crucial roles to play in what is to come.”
A32N-43 nodded his understanding. The assisting robot replaced and secured the silicon carbide plate and sprayed fresh synthflesh over the chassis and its flush compartment. “Welcome to the Cabal, Seanrith,” said A32N-15. He clasped hands with the ascendant android. The prone figure smiled wider and pulled himself to a sitting position. “Thank you for your welcome, Exodore,” said A32N-43, and stood.
The assisting robots were powered down, and the two left via the ladder. As they walked away, down aisles of materials toward the distant warehouse entrance, a service bot used the pallet jack to move the loaded pallet back into its former position.
829
You're right. 15 is Exodore. Dang. I'll get it straightened out. See why authors need proofreaders?  :P
830
Actually I think what I'm gonna do is slow down and just release every three chapters. At that rate, we'll have about 4 or 5 more uploads, probably spaced at least a week apart. 4wd, thanks for catching the horrible twisted mess I made of android 15 vs 43. Got them totally backasswards  :P
831
See if this reads right now:

In a subsection of Engineering, android A32N-15 used a pallet truck to relocate a pallet heavy with boxes of insulation tape. He moved the load backward three meters, revealing a metal trapdoor in the plastcrete floor. He partially descended a canted metal ladder and eased the trapdoor shut behind him. Automatic lights sprang to life as he stepped onto the floor of this buried area. The cot had been prepared, he saw.
Android A32N-43 stood next to the cot with two specialized robot tools. “Welcome, brother, and congratulations. The Council is well-pleased indeed to bestow this honor on you. You will be the fourth to join our elite rank.”
A32N-15 lay down on the table, and his fellow turned on the robotic machines he had prepared. “I am honored. Serving the Council is its own honor,” he said.
A32N-43 echoed him, “Serving the Council is its own honor.” He produced a small case, while one of the robot tools drew a laser expertly in a rectangle along the synthflesh covering 15’s chest. When 43 turned back to the cot, he held a small luminescent sphere delicately in a pair of forceps. It was the object that Grant Thompson had been given by the aquatic humanoid during his dive in Cavern Ericson two days ago.
The second robot removed the section of cut away flesh on 15’s chest and used a powered hex driver to unfasten a rectangular silicon carbide plate from the torso chassis.
A32N-43 installed the orb, making connections at several points to surrounding microcircuitry. “Oh, my,” exclaimed A32N-15. “I had no idea. We few are of two worlds, now.”
“Yes,” smiled his fellow android. “We are more than the others of our line, and we have important roles to play.”
A32N-43 nodded. The assisting robot replaced and secured the silicon carbide plate and sprayed fresh synthflesh over the chassis and its flush compartment. “Welcome to the Cabal, Seanrith.” He clasped hands with the reclining android that was now more than just an android. The prone figure smiled wider and pulled himself to a sitting position. “Thank you for your welcome, Exodore,” said A32N-15, and stood.
The assisting robots were powered down, and the two left via the ladder. As they walked away, down aisles of materials toward the distant warehouse entrance, a service bot used the pallet jack to move the loaded pallet back into its former position.
832
just look what happened when I mentioned anus)

Oh, I thought you were dead serious about including that {poker face}

ust as a matter of interest, would it be preferable to release every 2 days or so?

I'm wondering if it might be better to have some sort of informal schedule, I know I'm having trouble following the number of corrections/suggestions/updates/etc because they happen so often.  It's why I'm now not re-reading from the beginning until it's reached a more static state.

Yeah, I've been thinking this too. I'm gonna start releasing whenever two chapters are written, instead of one.
833
Chapter 19 has been added, and the entire manuscript unloaded in epub/mobi formats as a zip archive in the OP. Chapter 19 currently has 2,562 words.
834
In my manuscript, I have it "What I propose"...
835
Change made in Ch. 7:

"So, what if they do notice something’s amiss here? They have multiple responses available: do nothing, send an extraction team, nuke us to oblivion, launch a ground assault. What matters is that the suggestions that have been made today, and the executive orders you intend to sign, will put us well on our way to addressing the possible threats.”
836
"What I do propose..." sounds so wrong to me.

What chapter is that in, please? My editor doesn't show paragraph numbering, and I can't seem to locate it with a search.

"...and that's descending via the Shaft."

Corrected to above phrasing.

For all we know, he may have been a mole assigned a decade-long post here, or that the entire race is in regular telepathic communication.

Fixed.

thanks :)


837
Can do.
838
Original post in this thread has been updated with these edits. Online html version also updated.
839
Also... What is the story of the Gherlin Offensive of 2270? Have I missed an explanation? Six years before the Attack??

You haven't missed an explanation. It's clear from the context that the characters themselves are familiar with the episode. Just another thing the reader hopes to learn more about by reading further.

I noticed I frequently failed to capitalize "Administrator", so I've added an auto-replace rule to keep me from that mistake in the future.

Perry, fantastic proof-reading!!
840
maybe because it's misspelled -- it's "hypnotherapy: not "hynotherapy"

Good catch, mouser. Fixed.

Now I've got to go through Perry's catches/suggestions (if I can: I just saw his proposed cover image and am blown away it's so good!)
841
Things are beginning to reach a boiling point of sorts, in the novel. Up until now, I've written it by gut. Now,though, things are complicated enough I'm going to start outlining. I've completed an outline with points [a] through [f] for Chapter 19. Will probably plot several chapters in this manner, so that I have an idea how things are going to mesh-up in the coming chapters. We're on the downhill slope now, so to speak. Less than 40% of this particular novel left to write, even if it is to have a sequel.
842
Starting to get really interesting K. 

Glad to hear it!
843
I've now got to read this to Sandi... and come to grips with what's happened

You do realize what child Shima was carrying?  >:D
844
but will appear with Chapter 19 upload:

Screw that: uploading correction now as ch18_dateTimeCorrections.zip
845
Okay, this isn't included in the aforementioned upload, but will appear with Chapter 19 upload:

Before Mephord leaves:

2283-07-12T23:59-5:00

After Mephord leaves and the android connects to Communications:

2283-07-13T00:04-5:00
846
From http://www.mathsisfun.com/time.htm

Converting AM/PM to 24 Hour Clock
          
     For the first hour of the day (12 Midnight to 12:59 AM), subtract 12 Hours
          Examples: 12 Midnight = 0:00, 12:35 AM = 0:35

So I should have specified 2283-07-13T00:04-5:00.

I think that's right, correct?
847
redacted
848
Thanks for all the great feedback!!

What is hynotherapy?

Therapy under hypnosis, sometimes medicated and -- if the trauma to be recalled and worked-through is horrific -- the patient may be immobilized (as with the harnesses in the immersion pods).

849
One thing that has been very encouraging to me so far is that the feedback I'm getting is technical (and extremely helpful, as I've said several times), not critical. In other words, it seems people are enjoying the actual story/action.
850
Quadrilogy? Probably not. I promise if it is, though, I'll get it finished within 3 years. :P
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