With apologies, this here is a hit and run criticism - the only reason I think it's still worth posting is because it's about first impressions.
I've just read the prologue and most of the first chapter - and I'm hooked
The thing is when you start reading, you're not hooked, so you're much more critical. With that in mind, my criticism is aimed mainly at the prologue. Note that incidences do seem to reduce after that anyway.
Excessive use of comma's was the thing that disrupted my reading most (and that mainly in prologue): I'm no grammatical expert, so your use of commas may be technically correct - but I found a few examples in the prologue where, if I read the text out loud, it would sound quite stilted. Maybe I read different to others, but I find I notice that
without actually reading it out loud, and it distracts me from the content.
All my opinion and FWIW!
Where I remove something below, I put empty square brackets []
1
But when it happened, I was a lad
of sixteen. I’m one of the few survivors of that Tuesday’s viral, then nuclear,
holocaust that swept the globe on June 6th, 2276.
-
this above ok, but I think this flows better:But when it happened[] I was a lad
of sixteen. I’m one of the few survivors of that Tuesday’s viral, [and] then nuclear[]
holocaust that swept the globe on June 6th, 2276.2
Apparently, the aliens were able
to leverage that fact.
-
the comma makes it too slowApparently[] the aliens were able
to leverage that fact. Also, why apparently? - it sounds like it was very definite)3
“How can you be sure? Have you tested it?”
“Not fully, but it’s the genuine article, alright.”
-
try the read-out-loud test - the "..., alright" bit fails for me“How can you be sure? Have you tested it?”
“Not fully, but it’s the genuine article[] alright.”4
“As sure as I can be, Byron, considering that...
-
*for me* fails the read-out-loud test“As sure as I can be[] Byron, considering that...5
Acquisition and reallocation of materiele.
-
=> should that be "materials" ? or is he Dutch 
6
But the humor was lost on
Byron, whose mind obviously had drifted.
-
suggestion (flows better imo)But the humor was lost on
Byron, whose mind [had] obviously [] drifted.7
Jerking to his
feet, he vomited a stream of expletives.
-
suggestion / "vomited" is too graphic and thereby distracts from content I findJerking to his
feet, he [spewed] a stream of expletives.edit/
sorry I didnt add paragraph details - all in prologue or first half of chapter one
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