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Living Room / Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Last post by IainB on November 03, 2014, 01:42 AM »...B*gger and b*st*rd are another couple.In NZ as well, mate.-4wd (November 02, 2014, 08:11 PM)
Reminds me of the time I was driving my souped-up MGB Roadster back from the docks, having just picked it up from the wharf where it had landed after being freighted over from the UK. The car was misfiring as I drove it in 3rd gear at the foot of the very steep Kaurangahape Gorge (just outside Wellington). Figuring that the sparkplugs were a bit fouled up, I dropped it down a cog (2nd gear) and booted it, thinking that that should clear the problem (it usually would).
The engine was a small ally Buick 3.5L V8 design (made by Rover UK under license) with high compression heads and fed by a single twin-choke 40DCOE Weber carb (carefully jetted by yours truly). Being ally and a V8, the engine was lighter than the standard cast-iron block, 4-cyl 1,800cc engine that it replaced, and rode more amidships than the 4-cyl block. The latter made it roughly 50-50 weight distribution, and with approx 100bhp output and lighter weight, the original power-to-weight ratio was roughly doubled.
What this meant was that whenever the loud pedal was pressed, the car had an electrifying response. It shot up the long hill at over 100mph and when I finally got to the top I put it into top overdrive and let it idle back to the statutory speed limit. The engine wasn't misfiring anymore.
A minute or so later, an unmarked police car (a Ford GT Cortina) pulled me over.
Apparently I had overtaken it at great speed at the bottom of the hill, and the cop said he couldn't even begin to keep up with me and I was due for a speeding ticket.
I apologised, saying that I had not intentionally been breaking the speed limit, but just wanted to put the engine under load as it was misfiring on a couple of cylinders from sooty plugs.
"A couple of cylinders?!" the cop exclaimed, "But you've only got four in this engine!".
Recognising that he might know a bit about cars, I explained to him what the engine was. The car otherwise looked like a bog standard MGB Roadster - its suspension and other mods were not visible to the onlooker). No bumps in the bonnet or anything. The only inkling that it was different was a slightly larger diameter tailpipe and an inconspicuously small V8 badge on the front grille.
It turned out the cop was a motor enthusiast, and he asked me to lift the bonnet, and when I did so, he said "You sneaky bastard!", but I figured it was said appreciatively.
I got off without a ticket, and was given a verbal warning and told that now they knew what the car was, I wouldn't get off lightly if I was caught speeding.
