thanks, tinjaw and f0dder.
i've just woken up this morning and the first thought that popped into my head was how will my router firewall know which programs are good or bad if all it does it use port numbers in the rules. well, obviously, like you've said - it won't.
my current setup is almost identical to what you've have running, f0dder. the firewall has a few rules for specific incoming ports (utorrent, emule) and absolutely everything is allowed out. also, the xp firewall is running and i've gone for that aol (kaspersky) free firewall to look after the virus side of things.
i'm not sure if i'm happy with this or not. it was reassuring to see the popups from zone alarm for out going requests but i guess most of (if not all of it) was from harmless apps just wanting to call home.
i shall try and learn to accept this current situation rather than keep installing firewalls in the hope that they are stable enough for my system.
tinjaw, when you have time, it will be nice to hear what you were going to say about HIPS. i did install comodo firewall as this is something it is renowned for - but it always seems to crash after a few hours use (i've tried twice on two separate installs of xp so i've given up with it).
i thought there would be a simple piece of software out there that does this HIPS thing and little else. i'm not really interested in defining port numbers and tcp/udp. i just want to be able to say yes/no to "can this program access the outside world". that seems like a simple thing to expect to me and i'd have thought it a simple thing to implement, i.e. monitor util watches open programs for attempts to connect and lets them through or blocks them completely. how hard is that.
i obviously don't understand the complexity of what's involved (can't autohotkey do this kind of thing

).