I saw in my Notifications window that there was an Update that wanted to reboot, so because I thought it was the Anniversary Update, I backed up Windows using System Restore, Paragon Backup and Recovery 14 Free and System GoBack Free. Afterwards when I used winver I found out it wasn't v. 1607.

I checked Update history to find out what kind of Update it was since it wasn't the 600 pound gorilla I expected and found out it was just a v. 1511 Cumulative Update, but there was a button at the bottom offering the Anniversary Update. I was prepared for this, so I took the plunge and clicked the button.
4 hours later, I emerged relatively unscathed(sure Classic Shell didn't work, but after I went to the site and downloaded and installed the latest version(which they said worked with that update) I was back to normal).

Also I just got the notification that Malwarebytes just updated it's virus signatures so that is still working also. I activated Windows Defender(it said that another program(ESET NOD32) was being used so it would just be scanning periodically), so now I have 3 programs protecting my computer. Stupidity can still emerge triumphant, but I have 3 layers of protection.