My Amazing Secret for How to Get Great Publicity and Get Rich in the Web2 World

[mouser]

Ok boys and girls gather round for I am going to blow your mind with my 3 step process that is guaranteed to get you TONS of great press in the technology blogs and financial journals.  Your company will become the talk of the town and you will soon become rich beyond your wildest dreams.

Now why am I giving away this amazing secret simple strategy when I could make millions from selling it? Well there is a catch.  I'm going to leave off one little mystery of the technique.  To get the missing element you have to mail me $999 in cash.  It's only a small sum compared to the increase in revenue your business will generate.

Ok here is my Web 2.0 Technology Strategy:

• 1. Find a friend with another internet company.
• 2. Send out a press release trumpeting the huge news that one of the companies has suddenly acquired the other !! OMG YES!
• 3. Repea*

I know you are thinking to yourself that is the most amazing strategy I have ever heard and i've just blown your mind.  It is as good as that and better.  My technique is being used internationally all over the globe with great success.  Just open your browser to any high-tech news site and you will see my clients using this strategy like mad.  It costs you nothing and is 100% guaranteed to make you fistfulls of money!

I know you are thinking to yourself "But this is too good to be true!!!! Don't I have to improve my product? Or create new features? Or hire new employees?"  NO, NO, and NO!!! That's the magic!

And the key is the hidden step #3.  If you act now during this introductory period, with only one payment of $999 (not including shipping and handling), i will reveal to you the full details of step 3.  Hurry I only have 5,000,000 copies left!

[jgpaiva]

Oh man... Fantastic! I'll bookmark this post right away so i'll know what to do when i own a company and want to make tons of money!
Thanks mouser, you're the best! 

(btw.. can i make tons of money with your method first and pay you the $999 after i'm rich?)

[Deozaan]

I paid the $999 and I need to tell everyone THIS PRICE IS A SCAM! I have the third step which I'm willing to reveal to anyone with a small donation of $300.


 

[jgpaiva]

I have the third step which I'm willing to reveal to anyone with a small donation of $300.

-Deozaan (January 10, 2007, 04:54 PM)

Oh, man! Thank you for the heads up! I was about to fall into that scam. Mouse just betrayed my confidence

Will you accept the deal i proposed to mouser? (but paying you $300 instead of $999)?

[Deozaan]

I'll contact you in PM and we can work out the details. 

[edbro]

If you want to get famous via the web all you have to do is:
1. produce a sex tape and then leak it.
2. Show up at all social events acting as if you are a prima donna
3. be born into a wealthy hotel family

[CodeTRUCKER]

Call now!  Operators are standing by... 

[CodeTRUCKER]

Oops!  I forgot to ask if this was connected to the RONCO VegWeb-a-matic?  

[wanderer]

It may seem strange and a bit of a go at blowing my own trumpet but its possible for free.

Years ago I had a D.I.Y shop. I placed a coffin in the window that I borrowed from an undertaker. I put a price on it of £56.00. I then had a friend inform the local newspaper. They ran an article about it. Front page for free. It then went in the County newspaper ( part of the same company ). I think front page again. It was picked up by the national newspapers and snowballed. Every Sunday paper ran it. The BBC turned up with a Radio crew. They in turn passed it on to the BBC TV network. The ITN TV crew from Calendar News filmed. ABC Radio in America did a live interview for a thousand stations. Meanwhile every time that it was on the TV or National news , the local paper ran another piece. It went on BBC World service , Japanese TV came and filmed a piece for a full day ( I was paid for my time on a day off ). USA Today and The Soir Newspaper in France ran pieces. The Coffin was mentioned in a government report and of cource I managed another local story. Then it died ( no pun ). For maybe 3 or 4 months nothing was said. The Humanist Society mentioned it in an article about D.I.Y funerals and off we went again. I probably had 18 months of free advertising.


This was not the last bit of newspaper and TV reporting that I manipulated. When my wife was due to give birth I delivered my son  before the midwife arrived. Free reporting again.


The moral is: Getting the coverage is easy - what you do with it is not.


Extracted from an article by Steve Nicholson, Gainsborough Lincolnshire UK.

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I think you may be better off sending me the $999. I will set up a simple plan that a chimp could follow. To be honest I really do need the money and it will be put to good use........honestly.

[nite_monkey]

I haven't sent in $999 nor am I going to, but by any chance would the step 3. be repeat?

[mouser]

I haven't sent in $999 nor am I going to, but by any chance would the step 3. be repeat?

now you've leaked my secret and it's worthless 

[nite_monkey]

Im sorry... 

[zridling]

This is EXACTLY what is happening in the online office suite market right now. Companies are falling all over themselves. They toss up some AJAX, shotgun a press release a day on how their company is going to change everything from this point forward, and keep offering tidbits all in the hope a megacorp like Microsoft or Google buys them out. Look at all the companies Symantec has acquired in the last two years. All you got to do is get something started.

Now I have this idea about electric cars and electrifying one lane of the autobahn/interstate so that an electric car could get on the autobahn, get in the electrified lane and let the juice drive his car 300mph from one edge of the country to the other in no time. I'll take seed money starting at €500,000 (no USDollars, please)!

[nosh]

now a days money is a god.

I suggest this post be moved to the humour thread.

[app103]

now a days money is a god.

I suggest this post be moved to the humour thread.

-nosh (April 08, 2009, 03:08 AM)

Just another necrospammer. All taken care of. You may return to something more interesting.

Although, this was a funny thread and worth reading if you haven't before.