I've been looking everywhere and so far the only two apps that somewhat cover my needs are XNView and IrfanView but even these two popular viewers leave lots of room for improvement. Below are the main features that I'm after:
1. Auto-rotate based on EXIF and object detection
2. Crop
3. Borders with transparent shadow
4. Manual rotation
5. Fast image browsing
6. Perspective (vertical and horizontal keystone) adjustments
7. Insert text objects with options to set font, size, alignment, shadow, transparency, glow, and ability to re-modify them before committing (saving) the changes
8. Insert shape objects with options to resize, line width, line colour, width colour, transparency, shadow and ability to re-modify them before committing the edits
9. Insert images with ability to resize and shadow
10. Layers or foreground and background ordering
11. Convenient tagging to simplify organizing
12. Auto-enhance (automatically improve contrast, levels, colours, sharpness, reduce noise, etc) with one click
13. Portability
14. Pixel-level editing like in MS Paint with ability to erase, clone and copy areas
15. Free. If no such free options exist, the cheaper the better.
16. Obfuscate (blur out)
17. Plugin support (photoshop 8bf format would be a plus)
For paid, Zoner or ACDSee would probably come the closest but I'm wondering if somebody has heard of similar free tools