Patent your mom tips

[mouser]

http://www.onionstud...arenting-tricks-2833

The closing statement is great:
"Remember, an idea is like a seed -- it can only turn into a tree if you kill all the birds that are trying to eat it."

[app103]

Here's another good one, from the same series:

[Deozaan]

I don't get it. What's a mom stick?

[app103]

I don't get it. What's a mom stick?

-Deozaan (June 30, 2015, 12:13 AM)

A parody of those stupid, useless but expensive products that companies try to convince first time moms that they need to buy, otherwise their kid will end up all screwed up.

Kind of like this one. That's a "Mom Stick", right there.

[Deozaan]

Ah. Yeah, that particular product seems pretty silly.

[MilesAhead]

I don't get it. What's a mom stick?

-Deozaan (June 30, 2015, 12:13 AM)

A parody of those stupid, useless but expensive products that companies try to convince first time moms that they need to buy, otherwise their kid will end up all screwed up.

Kind of like this one. That's a "Mom Stick", right there.

-app103 (June 30, 2015, 12:36 AM)

https://en.wikipedia...wiki/Psychic_driving

All those "learn while you sleep" deals use the gimjmick above.

[app103]

I don't get it. What's a mom stick?

-Deozaan (June 30, 2015, 12:13 AM)

A parody of those stupid, useless but expensive products that companies try to convince first time moms that they need to buy, otherwise their kid will end up all screwed up.

Kind of like this one. That's a "Mom Stick", right there.

-app103 (June 30, 2015, 12:36 AM)

https://en.wikipedia...wiki/Psychic_driving

All those "learn while you sleep" deals use the gimjmick above.

-MilesAhead (June 30, 2015, 06:42 AM)

Other Mom Sticks include:

• life insurance for infants, purchased after being convinced by a sales agent that it's an investment, and their kid will probably never be able to go to college unless they purchase a policy now, that they can borrow against later.
• Encyclopedia sets, purchased for newborns that can't even read yet, that end up outdated before the kid hits middle school. (not so much these days, but historically speaking, before the internet age and Wikipedia, new parents were Encyclopedia Britannica's biggest customers, worth over $2000 in purchases, each)
• "Miracle" blankets that cost $40+ each and don't do anything a $10 3-pack of receiving blankets can't do.
• Baby wipe warmers (your child will not be psychologically scarred for life if you clean their bottom with a room temperature wipe)
• Cheap piece of polyurethane foam for $45
• Infant swimming classes (your infant can still drown in a few inches of water, even if you sign them up for all the infant swimming classes in the world)

[Renegade]

http://www.onionstud...arenting-tricks-2833

The closing statement is great:
"Remember, an idea is like a seed -- it can only turn into a tree if you kill all the birds that are trying to eat it."

-mouser (June 27, 2015, 12:12 PM)

I love that quote there! 

The saddest thing about The Onion is that far too often their jokes become reality. This one? I'm willing to bet that we'll see something similar in a few years.

[superboyac]

lol!!
mom stick is hilarious.
her tone is genius, lol!!!
at first i thought mom stick meant something else.  something QUITE else. 

[Stoic Joker]

Warning loud auto playing video at link - Do not click if it's like almost midnight and your wife is sleeping in the next room after working a 12 hour shift.