What's a contrabassoon? As played by the Nicaraguan rebels?
-timns
1. It's a very large reed instrument, so-called because it is played and admired primarily by people who are
totally opposed to the bassoon and all that it represents. With a tone that sounds with authority in that vast sonic wasteland which lies somewhere between a rhino's rutting call and a tramp steamer foghorn, the contrabassoon (in unskilled hands) can reduce even the strongest lover of the bassoon to tears in less than three seconds flat.
2. I have been given to understand it was. Unfortunately, the Sandinistas (despite numerous CIA reports to the contrary) were
not great admirers of the bassoon. So it's efficacy was severely limited when employed against them - usually doing little more than provoking a fit of laughter (and an occasional pants wetting) from heavily armed Sandinista soldiers whenever confronted by a Contra contrabassoonist.
--- For those who are curious to learn more, check out
this video by a man who, as a contrabassoonist, not only passionately
hates the bassoon - he apparently has it in for jazz/funk as well.
I'm sure that after a single viewing, you'll join me when I say:
So much wickedness in the World!