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Living Room / Re: What's your favorite LOL joke?
« Last post by Stoic Joker on November 03, 2009, 05:43 AM »Some are better then others, but this is some of the stuff I saved from Emails etc.
No wonder teachers go "crazy" with children
>
> TEACHER: Why are you late?
> WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
> TEACHER: What sign?
> WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
>
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>
>
> TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
> CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
>
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>
>
> TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
> JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
> TEACHER: No, that's wrong
> JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
>
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>
>
> TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
> SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
> TEACHER: What are you talking about?
> SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
>
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>
>
> TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
> GEORGE: Here it is!
> TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
> CLASS: George!
>
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>
>
> TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
> have
> ten years ago.
> WILLY: Me!
>
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>
>
> TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
> TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
>
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>
>
> SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
> FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
> SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
>
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>
>
> TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
> JOSE: Don't bite any.
>
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>
>
> TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
> ELLEN: I is...
> TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
> ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
>
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>
>
> Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't
punish him?"
> Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
>
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>
>
> Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
> Father : No. Why do you ask that?
> Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
>
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>
>
> Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
and
one is blue with red spots!
> Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at
home.
>
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>
>
> At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute
5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks. "I musta
got 'em
from my Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause Mommy's still got hers."
>
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>
> Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your
brother's. Did u copy his?
> Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
>
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>
>
> Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no
longer interested?
> Pupil : A teacher.
>
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>
>
No wonder teachers go "crazy" with children
>
> TEACHER: Why are you late?
> WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
> TEACHER: What sign?
> WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
>
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
>
>
> TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
> CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
>
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
>
>
> TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
> JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
> TEACHER: No, that's wrong
> JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
>
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
>
>
> TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
> SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
> TEACHER: What are you talking about?
> SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
>
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
>
>
> TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
> GEORGE: Here it is!
> TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
> CLASS: George!
>
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
>
>
> TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
> have
> ten years ago.
> WILLY: Me!
>
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
>
>
> TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
> TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
>
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
>
>
> SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
> FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
> SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
>
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
>
>
> TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
> JOSE: Don't bite any.
>
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
>
>
> TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
> ELLEN: I is...
> TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
> ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
>
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
>
>
> Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't
punish him?"
> Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
>
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
>
>
> Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
> Father : No. Why do you ask that?
> Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
>
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
>
>
> Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
and
one is blue with red spots!
> Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at
home.
>
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
>
>
> At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute
5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks. "I musta
got 'em
from my Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause Mommy's still got hers."
>
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
>
> Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your
brother's. Did u copy his?
> Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
>
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
>
>
> Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no
longer interested?
> Pupil : A teacher.
>
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>
>
