You might have picked these up in your proofing.Prologue:
“Thanks for the ‘UT’, buddy. He set his cup on the table, then slid the data chip across the table. You keep that damned safe, S-man. We’ll talk later. Door, open for guest to exit.”
“Thanks for the ‘UT’, buddy.”
He set his cup on the table, then slid the data chip across the table. “
You keep that damned safe, S-man. We’ll talk later. Door, open for guest to exit.”Chapter 1:
...and maybe a couple dozen meter deeper.
...and maybe a couple of dozen meters deeper.
Sallow-faced, and he had to have been even notably fatter, six months ago, than he appeared to be today.
Sallow-faced, he also appeared to be noticeably [leaner|thinner] than he had appeared six months [previous|ago].
...trying to take the emotional temperature of the group as a whole.
...trying to [gauge|judge] the emotional temperature of the group as a whole.
“Ease down off that railing and I’ll answer both questions, in either order you prefer,” quipped Sethra.
I'm probably being unusually dense but every time I read that, I keep wondering what the other question is/was.
Such puling drivel just about justifies their slow deaths he reflected.
The 'just about justifies' feels strange to me, possibly:Such puling drivel almost justifies their slow deaths
he reflected.Chapter 2:
...and power cells to run them for up to at least thirty-six hours.
It feels a bit contradictory to me, ie. the 'up to' specifies a time limit of 36 hours, whereas the 'at least' specifies a minimum of 36 hours. Possibly:
...and power cells to run them at least thirty-six hours.
Nothing will hinge on one single weak leak in the chain.
I think Perry mentioned this one and I'm sure there's been updates since but it still seems to be there: link
...once we go under into immersion, ...
The 'go under' feels redundant coupled with immersion but it's a 50/50 thing, maybe:
...once we're immersed, ...
That night Veronne stayed with Sethra in his cubicle.Veronee