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Last post Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]  (Read 1435373 times)

40hz

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2475 on: December 19, 2013, 12:46:16 PM »
How to uninstall McAfee antivirus - starring John McAfee? (NSFW - adult viewer discretion advised)



Hmm... :tellme:

superboyac

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2476 on: December 19, 2013, 03:41:20 PM »
How to uninstall McAfee antivirus - starring John McAfee? (NSFW - adult viewer discretion advised)



Hmm... :tellme:
holy cow...I JUST did a search for this subject literally an hour ago.  What a coincidence!

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2477 on: December 19, 2013, 10:16:25 PM »
A small selection of quickies...

SCOTTISH  WEDDING
At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled...
"Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.

SEX
Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore …..
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.

New Book
A man goes into Chapters and asks the young lady assistant, "Do you have the new book out for men with short penises?"
She replies,  "I'm not sure if it's in yet."
"That's the one; I'll take a copy…"

Poor Lance Armstrong
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated
Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, whilst on drugs.
When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my frig’n bike.

Drive By
A guy broke into my apartment last week.
He didn’t take my TV, just the remote.
Now he drives by and changes the channels.

Sick Bastard!!

The Agony of Aging
On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.
I said to him, "You'd better get your hearing checked - you're supposed to turn your clock back".

Pregnant Prostitute
Doctor asks pregnant prostitute, "do you know who the father is?" 
"For f.... sakes, if you ate a tin of beans would you know which one made you fart?"

EASYJET
Paddy calls EASYJET to book a flight.
The operator asks, "How many people are flying with you?"
Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane!"
_____________________________________

Deozaan

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2478 on: December 20, 2013, 12:41:46 AM »
This is one that I've seen passed around via e-mail years ago, but just thought of it today and so I went seeking it out to remember it.

I found it here: http://www.e-jokes.net/christmas/003.htm


The Angel On The Tree

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems everywhere.

Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. Needless to say Santa wasn't in the best mood.

Just then the doorbell rang and Santa went to the door expecting another problem.  He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree there just to cheer Santa up.

The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree?  Where would you like me to stick it?"

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.


Deozaan

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2479 on: December 20, 2013, 12:45:09 AM »
Dairy Queen Fabio: "Yeah, a baby!"



app103

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2480 on: December 20, 2013, 05:25:50 PM »
Elf on a Shelf gone bad.

1488659_10153673109305341_1640391685_n[1].jpg

Arizona Hot

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tomos

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2482 on: December 21, 2013, 04:23:49 PM »
^ good ol' Chuck ;)

I'm sure there's lots of good parodies -
here's one I found, "created by unprofessionals" :D





and here's the Chuck one in full:
http://www.youtube.c.../watch?v=T-D1KVIuvjA
Tom

Vurbal

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2483 on: December 21, 2013, 05:22:50 PM »
A true Christmas classic:


I learned to say the pledge of allegiance
Before they beat me bloody down at the station
They haven't got a word out of me since
I got a billion years probation
- The MC5

Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the danger of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of ''crackpot'' than the stigma of conformity.
- Thomas J. Watson, Sr

It's not rocket surgery.
- Me


I recommend reading through my Bio before responding to any of my posts. It could save both of us a lot of time and frustration.

Arizona Hot

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2484 on: December 22, 2013, 05:05:21 PM »


Quote
Boa Constrictor
“Oh, I'm being eaten
By a boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor,
And I don't like it--one bit.
Well, what do you know?
It's nibblin' my toe.
Oh, gee,
It's up to my knee.
Oh my,
It's up to my thigh.
Oh, fiddle,
It's up to my middle.
Oh, heck,
It's up to my neck.
Oh, dread,
It's upmmmmmmmmmmffffffffff . . .”
― Shel Silverstein


Arizona Hot

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2485 on: December 22, 2013, 06:20:17 PM »
and here's the Chuck one in full:
http://www.youtube.c.../watch?v=T-D1KVIuvjA

The song in the background is "Only Time" by Enya.

app103

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2486 on: December 23, 2013, 11:01:04 AM »
Christmas lights in Rome.

999470_777317482285528_799710905_n[1].jpg

tomos

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2487 on: December 23, 2013, 11:28:20 AM »
Christmas lights in Rome.
 (see attachment in previous post)

Rome does have a bit of a reputation, doesn't it ;D
Tom

mouser

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2488 on: December 25, 2013, 10:29:09 AM »
Quote
...At the very basic level, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” presents a fairly grim, Hobbesian vision of society: If you want to be accepted, you have to prove your economic utility—which, in the case of magical flying reindeer, appears to only involve the annual sleigh-pull...

http://www.newrepubl...s-bullying-exclusion

app103

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2489 on: December 25, 2013, 04:57:46 PM »
Rudolph the Regular Reindeer


tomos

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2490 on: December 25, 2013, 05:56:39 PM »
^ ;D ;D
Tom

barney

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2491 on: December 25, 2013, 06:59:39 PM »
Quote
...At the very basic level, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” presents a fairly grim, Hobbesian vision of society: If you want to be accepted, you have to prove your economic utility—which, in the case of magical flying reindeer, appears to only involve the annual sleigh-pull...

http://www.newrepubl...s-bullying-exclusion


Our beer cabal (?) had a discussion on that song just recently.  Apologies to Gene Autry, but the consensus was that the song encourages bullying. 

[sidenote] Apparently we have way to much idle time on our hands  :P. [/sidenote]

Giampy

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2492 on: December 26, 2013, 07:04:50 AM »

Stress from Christmas:

Spoiler
Babbo Natale morto - 1486757.jpg

"A refrigerator without beer is like a body without soul"


Arizona Hot

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barney

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2495 on: December 26, 2013, 11:06:45 PM »
Wow!  I just found out I'm the king of Israel  :P.

Giampy

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2496 on: December 27, 2013, 04:30:43 AM »
Birra - Pericolo.jpg
"A refrigerator without beer is like a body without soul"

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2497 on: December 28, 2013, 05:40:48 AM »
From: http://www.smbc-comi...b=comics&id=3209
20131217.pngsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Giampy

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2498 on: December 28, 2013, 07:18:43 AM »
Kalashnikov.jpg
"A refrigerator without beer is like a body without soul"

wraith808

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #2499 on: December 31, 2013, 07:34:13 AM »
Best Headline of 2013 by far!

zc0yJd1.png

From http://www.mirror.co...turbates-bar-2969797

Quote
Andrew Frey, 37, was eventually arrested after a wild, meth-fuelled weekend of erratic behaviour, which climaxed in the obscene outburst in Iggy's Bar & Grill in Salem, Oregon.

I see what you did there...