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Last post Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]  (Read 1435570 times)

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1900 on: July 23, 2013, 11:02:52 AM »
Don't click if you can't take a joke. :P

French Army Knife
968863_10151767248324297_1352382250_n.jpg

Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1901 on: July 23, 2013, 12:08:02 PM »
If you love babies, you might like/hate this. :P

http://newsthump.com...olutely-killing-him/

Quote
“And the words coming out of her mouth.  My word. If I hadn’t seen the background check with my own eyes I’d be pretty sure she’d dated a sailor.”

“Have I what? No, I haven’t looked ‘downstairs’ and I have no intention of doing so. It’s going to be out of action for a while I’d imagine.”

More at the link. :P
Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

Target

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IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1903 on: July 23, 2013, 09:52:28 PM »
Don't click if you can't take a joke. :P
I think that's unnecessarily offensive and equivalent to my post of Pierre's photo of Germany taking an all-classes win of the 1940 Tour de France at Re: bicycling suddenly a British speciality?!.
In short, it's LOL funny.    ;D

Those sorts of jokes act as reminders of the French's inability to win wars or to resist capitulation to an enemy or to having to be rescued from enemy occupation by the Brits/Yanks. They are not only always good for a laugh, but also they probably inject a healthy dose of realism into what might otherwise tend to be a forgetful and overly prideful national paradigm. That is, it takes off the rosy spectacles when viewing France's colourful history.
Quote
Lest we forget.
As a student of religion and modern history, my daughter Lily (now 11½ y/o) thought it was rather funny too.

@tomos might object to it though, as he objected to the Tour de France photo.

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1904 on: July 23, 2013, 10:23:27 PM »
Priceless. I actually did LOL when I read this at arstechnica:
Quote
NSA says it can’t search its own e-mails
The NSA's system is “a little antiquated and archaic."
by Justin Elliott, ProPublica - July 24 2013, 5:13am NZST
The National Security Agency (NSA) is a "supercomputing powerhouse" with machines so powerful their speed is measured in thousands of trillions of operations per second. The agency turns its giant machine brains to the task of sifting through unimaginably large troves of data its surveillance programs capture.

But ask the NSA as part of a freedom of information request to do a seemingly simple search of its own employees' e-mail? The agency says it doesn't have the technology.

"There's no central method to search an e-mail at this time with the way our records are set up, unfortunately," NSA Freedom of Information Act officer Cindy Blacker told me last week. The system is "a little antiquated and archaic," she added. ...

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1905 on: July 23, 2013, 10:37:41 PM »
^^ I'd posted that here:

http://www.donationc...ex.php?topic=35542.0

But, really, when you actually think about some of these news stories, most of them would be very much at home in this humour thread.

For example, a couple headlines that I'll make up for real events:

* Feeding people now illegal
* Having roof over your head now law - Law breakers given free roof over head in prison

While I made up the headlines, those are very real events. It's just one WTF moment after another.
Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1906 on: July 24, 2013, 12:30:11 AM »
^^ @Renegade: Uh, thanks. I hadn't seen your post of that.
Regarding the other silliness you mention, it is amusing yes, but I suspect that you are just pointing out the emerging progressivism in the US. Is there a "progressive" party in US politics? (I have no idea.) "Progressive" in politics seems to be a de facto and inarguably "good thing", though apparently to the stupid and unenlightened it may often seem to be a euphemism for "going backwards".

Some people (not me you understand) might suggest that students of modern history could look at what you were pointing out and compare it to a potential parallel in the form of the original and self-described "progressive" party - the National Socialist German Workers' Party, but I couldn't possibly comment - though I have met a lot of people whose parents/grandparents had apparently all been staunch members of that party, so it must have been pretty popular at one time.

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1907 on: July 24, 2013, 05:45:54 AM »
^^ @Renegade: Uh, thanks. I hadn't seen your post of that.
Regarding the other silliness you mention, it is amusing yes, but I suspect that you are just pointing out the emerging progressivism in the US. Is there a "progressive" party in US politics? (I have no idea.) "Progressive" in politics seems to be a de facto and inarguably "good thing", though apparently to the stupid and unenlightened it may often seem to be a euphemism for "going backwards".

Yes. It's terribly difficult to understand how some cretins don't see the beauty and order in things like this:



Some people (not me you understand) might suggest that students of modern history could look at what you were pointing out and compare it to a potential parallel in the form of the original and self-described "progressive" party - the National Socialist German Workers' Party, but I couldn't possibly comment - though I have met a lot of people whose parents/grandparents had apparently all been staunch members of that party, so it must have been pretty popular at one time.

Well, you know that things almost always come back into fascion at some point. ;)
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Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

Stoic Joker

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1908 on: July 24, 2013, 07:01:59 AM »
Well, you know that things almost always come back into fascion at some point.

I'm still waiting on Bell-Bottom Jeans to come back... :-\ ...sure does seem to be taking awhile though.  :(

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1909 on: July 24, 2013, 10:03:13 AM »
@Renegade:
Quote
...fascion...

Heh. I like it, a neologism.    ;)

wraith808

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1910 on: July 24, 2013, 11:54:37 AM »
Hmmm... seems we need a definition of silly humor.  :P

Some people (not me you understand) might suggest that there is humor found in many places, and if this was merely the humor thread, then all sorts of things might be at home here.  But when you add 'silly' in front of it, that makes it quite a bit better defined, and some humor is not at home in such a thread.

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1911 on: July 24, 2013, 12:54:04 PM »
Oh don't be so stuffy @wraith. Neologisms can be silly, funny, clever, and even useful.
For example:
Neologisms: (updated Jul. 2013)
(Neologism: The action of coining or using new words or expressions; a new word or expression.)

404:  Someone who is clueless.  From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.  Used as in: "Don't bother asking him, he's 404 man."
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.
ALPHA GEEK: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.
Anally: Occurring yearly.
AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj.  Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at Mc Donald's
Artery: The study of paintings.
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.
Avoidable: What a bull fighter tries to do.
Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Baloney: Where some hemlines fall.
Barium: What doctors do when patients die.
BEER-COAT.  The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am.
BEER-COMPASS.  The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
Benign: What you be after you be eight.
Bernadette: The act of torching a mortgage.
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Bowel: A letter like A.E.I.O.U.
BREAKING-THE-SEAL.  Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking.  After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
Burglarize: What a crook sees with.
Burglesque: A poorly planned break-in. (See: Watergate)
Caesarean Section: A neighbourhood or district in Rome.
Carcinoma (n.), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.
CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n.  The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
Catscan: Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her.
Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts (esp. if worn by Jewish men).
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Coffer (n.), the person doing the coughing.
Colic: A sheep dog.
Coma: A punctuation mark.
Congenital: Friendly.
Control: A short, ugly inmate;
Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing through a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
D&C: Where Washington is.
Diarrhoea: A journal of daily events.
Dilate: To live long.
DILBERTED: To be exploited and oppressed by your boss.  Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again.  The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v.  To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem brighter when they come at you rapidly.
Eclipse: What an English barber does for a living.
ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n.  The actions of two people manoeuvring for one armrest in a movie theatre.
Enema: Not a friend.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Eyedropper: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
Fascion: The tendency of societies to reincarnate the National Socialist German Workers' Party in new forms.
Fester: Quicker than someone else.
Fibula: A small lie.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
Frisbatarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
FRUST (frust) n.  The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
G.I.Series: World series of military baseball.
Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
Genital: A non Jewish person.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. . . .
Glibido: All talk and no action.
GOING FOR A McSHIT.  Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staffer your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.
Grippe: Suitcase.
Hangnail: What you hang your coat on.
Heroes: What a guy in a boat does.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Homophone: A gay telephone sex-line.
Hormone: A sound made by a prostitute when you refuse to pay her.
IDEA HAMSTERS: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Impotent: Distinguished, well known.
INNUENDO: An Italian suppository.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously (when you are running late?).
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
Intense pain: Torture in a teepee.
JOHNNY-NO-STARS.  A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant.  The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?  And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
Labour Pain: Getting hurt at work.
LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n.  Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
Left Bank: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Medical Staff: A doctor's cane.
MILLENNIUM-DOMES.  The contents of a Wonderbra - i.e., extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
Misty:  How golfers create divots.
MONKEY-BATH.  A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
Morbid: A higher offer.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the Couch potato.
MYSTERY-BUS.  The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY-TAXI.  The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates.
Node: Was aware of.
OHNO-SECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake - e.g., you've hit "reply all" by mistake for your email with personal comments.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Outpatient: A person who has fainted.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
Pap Smear: A fatherhood test.
Paradox: Two physicians.
Parasites: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
PEARL HARBOUR.  Cold (weather).  An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour" out there (there's a nasty nip in the air).
Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.
PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n.  The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Pharmacist: A helper on the farm.
Pheromone: The musty smell of an ancient Egyptian mummy.
PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n.  The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
Polarize: What penguins see with.
Post Operative: A letter carrier.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.  (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
Primate: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.
Protein: Favouring young people.
PUPKUS (pup'kus) n.  The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Rectum: Darn near killed 'em.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Relief: What trees do in the spring.
Rheumatic: Amorous.
Rubberneck: What you do to relax your wife.
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream, only to get screwed and die in the end.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it.
Scar: Rolled tobacco leaf.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.
Seamstress: Describes 250 pounds in a size six.
Secretion: Hiding anything.
Secretion: Hiding something.
Seizure: A oman emperor.
Seizure: Roman emperor.
Selfish: What the owner of a seafood store does.
Serology: The study of knighthood.
SINBAD. Single working girls - Single Income, No Boyfriend And Desperate.
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.  What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
Subdued: Like a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines.
Sudafed: Bringing litigation against a government official.
Tablet: A small table.
Tatyr: A lecherous Mr. Potato Head.
TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n.  The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
TESTICULATING.  Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.
Tibia: A country in North Africa.
TOURISTS: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs.  Example: "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
Tumour: An extra pair.
Urine: Opposite of you're out.
Varicose: Located near by/close by.
Vein: Conceited.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
WOOFies: Well Off Older Folk.
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS: The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We owe $8 each, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps."
« Last Edit: July 24, 2013, 01:02:57 PM by IainB, Reason: Minor edits. »

wraith808

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1912 on: July 24, 2013, 02:40:40 PM »
Oh don't be so stuffy @wraith. Neologisms can be silly, funny, clever, and even useful.

Oh... not me.  I just said some would say.  And it wasn't referring to that, but to the earlier post, i.e.

Priceless. I actually did LOL when I read this at arstechnica:

Which was undeniably funny... but I don't think really *silly*.  At least by any definition that I've heard.  But that's just me, which was why we might want to know what silly means.  :Thmbsup:

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1913 on: July 24, 2013, 04:17:19 PM »
 CNN Anchor Says "Humans Hunted Dildo into Extinction"



Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1914 on: July 24, 2013, 06:19:59 PM »
@Renegade:
Quote
...fascion...

Heh. I like it, a neologism.    ;)

:) I thought you'd like that!

Oh don't be so stuffy @wraith. Neologisms can be silly, funny, clever, and even useful.

Oh... not me.  I just said some would say.  And it wasn't referring to that, but to the earlier post, i.e.

Priceless. I actually did LOL when I read this at arstechnica:

Which was undeniably funny... but I don't think really *silly*.  At least by any definition that I've heard.  But that's just me, which was why we might want to know what silly means.  :Thmbsup:

I think pretty much you can open any news site, scan down the page, and find something obscenely silly. Or, perhaps rather it's more that quite a few of the people here are old enough to remember a bygone age when what you read in the news today would have been considered silly material for Saturday Night Live or some other comedy show.

Here's a made up title for an actual news story that I saw yesterday:

* Police inform couple of son's murder and shoot their dog

Got a bit of work to get done, but I'll post a bit more insanity later. :D
Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1915 on: July 24, 2013, 08:02:29 PM »
Well, I didn't even have to look beyond a single page to find some complete and total insanity in the news...

Get ready... this is pretty far beyond silly... ;)

http://news.national...abbit-disaster-plan/

http://endoftheameri...-plan-for-his-rabbit

Marty the Magician not only got busted by the US federal thugs for not having an officially licensed USDA-approved bunny rabbit, but...

...wait for it...

...it's going to explode with silliness...

HE NEEDS A DISASTER PLAN FOR HIS BUNNY WABBIT~! :D

BWAHAHAHAHAHA~!

A DISASTER PLAN!

FOR A RABBIT! :D

Seriously. You CANNOT make that up!

And...

...wait for it...

The disaster plan is 32 pages long!

Here's my own take on what a good disaster plan would be:

If there's a disaster, I cook up some ROAST RABBIT~! :D

Talking about just how deep the rabbit hole goes...? Apparently all the way to Wonderland! :P
Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1916 on: July 24, 2013, 08:11:56 PM »
Oh oh oh!

I've got another disaster plan for the cute wittle bunny wabbit...

Make it disappear~! :P
Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

wraith808

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1917 on: July 24, 2013, 09:46:34 PM »
Like I said... we need a common nomenclature for silly.  ;D

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1918 on: July 24, 2013, 09:50:36 PM »
Like I said... we need a common nomenclature for silly.  ;D

A disaster plan for a rabbit isn't silly?  :huh:
Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1919 on: July 24, 2013, 10:47:02 PM »
Not sure if this has been posted before (and don't care to spend an hour to find out), but it's funny:

Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

Edvard

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1920 on: July 24, 2013, 11:07:30 PM »


 ;D ;D ;D

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1921 on: July 25, 2013, 04:05:46 AM »
Pixel munching spider:

Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

Renegade

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1922 on: July 25, 2013, 06:15:51 AM »
1005791_512404595503848_1990477231_n.png
Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker

Giampy

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1923 on: July 25, 2013, 07:11:55 AM »
"I always forget my password. So I called it "wrong". In such way, when I log in but I don't remember my password, it's the website to remember it for me: «Your password is wrong»".

(from "Paperoga Style")
"A refrigerator without beer is like a body without soul"

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1924 on: July 25, 2013, 07:13:58 AM »
"I always forget my password. So I called it "wrong". In such way, when I log in but I don't remember my password, it's the website to remember it for me: «Your password is wrong»".

Hahahaha! :D
Slow Down Music - Where I commit thought crimes...

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. - John Diefenbaker