Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content] (Read 5,847,927 times)

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #5850 on:** March 08, 2020, 01:38 AM »

People lose socks and keys, but can you lose a building?

Shades · « **Reply #5851 on:** March 08, 2020, 02:40 AM »

Quote from: Arizona Hot on March 08, 2020, 01:38 AM

People lose socks and keys, but can you lose a building?

Go to a casino and find out...?

wraith808 · « **Reply #5852 on:** March 14, 2020, 02:00 AM »

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #5853 on:** March 18, 2020, 01:49 PM »

Do mannequins celebrate Holloween?
Can you have an intelligent conversation with a mannequin or are they airheads?

Holloween -Urban Dictionary

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #5854 on:** March 21, 2020, 10:31 PM »

[attachthumb=#]

One shot would probably blow the whole car over

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Safety first when you're working at height!

Both links are redundant copies to the same page.

tomos · « **Reply #5855 on:** March 21, 2020, 11:17 PM »

Quote from: Arizona Hot on March 21, 2020, 10:31 PM

Both links are redundant copies to the same page.

and neither link leads to what you say it does -- can you please fix that

holt · « **Reply #5856 on:** March 27, 2020, 05:11 PM »

Laws of Computing

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

2. When you get to the point where you think you finally understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you'd least expect to find it.

4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.

5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

6. To err is human...to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human.

7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.

8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

9. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

10. A computer program will always do exactly what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.

wraith808 · « **Reply #5857 on:** March 30, 2020, 01:58 AM »

wraith808 · « **Reply #5858 on:** March 30, 2020, 02:00 AM »

geeky humor

Deozaan · « **Reply #5859 on:** March 30, 2020, 02:42 AM »

panzer · « **Reply #5860 on:** March 30, 2020, 06:09 AM »

panzer · « **Reply #5861 on:** March 30, 2020, 06:10 AM »

app103 · « **Reply #5862 on:** March 31, 2020, 03:07 PM »

You thought you stocked up, but...

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #5863 on:** March 31, 2020, 05:17 PM »

Quote from: tomos on March 21, 2020, 11:17 PM

Quote from: Arizona Hot on March 21, 2020, 10:31 PM
Both links are redundant copies to the same page.
and neither link leads to what you say it does -- can you please fix that

Can't. All the pictures were on the same page and that has changed now.

IainB · « **Reply #5864 on:** April 03, 2020, 07:36 PM »

@holt:

Quote from: holt on March 27, 2020, 05:11 PM

Then there was the one about the brilliant and some would say borderline idiot-savant Accountant who decided to begin making all his 'zeros' to look very distinctly like lopsided 'ovals'. When asked by his snobbish colleagues, who prided themselves on being the finest generation of bean counters the world had ever seen, at first he was very secretive about it, and would only say that it was part of a fabulous new accounting system he was developing. But after undergoing ever increasing scrutiny, he finally sprang the joke on them. "They are eggs!" he exclaimed brightly. Then he went on with a mocking leer, "All you ever count are beans, whereas I am counting my chickens even before they are hatched!"

As a lapsed bean-counter of some not inconsiderable repute, I am outraged by and take great exception to that joke. Not only is it an occupationally-waycist hate joke, but also it is an anti-diversity trans-accountant phobic hate joke and thus should not be qualified as, nor be counted as a joke at all.
It is thus both a non-joke and a hate speech statement, by definition.

I am sick and tired at the hate that is regularly poured out, targeted at professional accountants, on this and other websites, and this is yet another egregious example of such.
Come the revolution, it'll be people like you and other similar accountant-occupation hatemongers who will be first up against the wall. There'll be no Trial Balance or Chapter 11 for you mate, just a swift write-down and asset disposal of a worthless off-the-balance-sheet asset.
That'll teach you.

IainB · « **Reply #5865 on:** April 03, 2020, 11:10 PM »

Just saw this on https://blog.archive.today/
I'd never previously seen such an incredibly agile, expeditious and responsive fault management response to an Incident Report before, so thought it worth noting here for us all to learn from.

Quote

Archive.is blog
Blog of http://archive.is/ project
APRIL 2, 2020 (3:23 PM)
Question asked by "Anonymous":
"how do I make a snap shot with some delay so that some elements have time to load? Some corona site only have the number but not the map in the snapshot (because it takes some time to load), and the element of requesting email for newsletter also gets in the way."

Response from webmaster:
"Report it as a bug and I will fix it (either be adding a delay for the website or by special handling some class of map sites)."

IainB · « **Reply #5866 on:** April 03, 2020, 11:28 PM »

Coronavirus black humour:
Breaking news: USA Corona virus death toll rises to 11.
Student with a gun: "Hold my beer..."

panzer · « **Reply #5867 on:** April 04, 2020, 05:23 AM »

My Best Self-Defense Advice

If assaulted or confronted by a stranger, sneeze or cough as loudly and hard as you can.

Bionic Mosquito

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #5868 on:** April 04, 2020, 05:29 AM »

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My kids told me there was water coming from the laundry. They said it looked like it started near the washer. I rushed in to find this

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Do I need to shave my legs if you wear a dress? These guys went to the draft board or where?

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #5869 on:** April 04, 2020, 04:19 PM »

How eerie is the Erie Canal?

IainB · « **Reply #5870 on:** April 05, 2020, 08:07 AM »

Coronavirus black humour:
Whoever said one person can't change the world never ate an undercooked bat...

IainB · « **Reply #5871 on:** April 08, 2020, 11:55 AM »

Homeopathy joke:

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Arizona Hot · « **Reply #5872 on:** April 10, 2020, 05:00 AM »

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Futurologists predicted that NYC would not exist in 100 years

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #5873 on:** April 15, 2020, 11:24 PM »

Signs you have been spending too much time online recently:

You get infected with a computer virus.
You bootup, not wakeup.
Microsoft has an update for you, as well as your computer
You can use the computer without touching it.
Plastic is tasty and you eat much more copper and iron.
You find USB ports in your navel.
You feel tired and rundown unless plugged into an outlet or external battery.
Your eyes look glassy, because they are.
You can upload your mind to the internet.

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #5874 on:** April 17, 2020, 05:34 PM »

Be glad there isn't a Corona computer virus.

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It's a librarian joke from my email.