But I did manage to solve over 30,000 support tickets since September 2013. That's worth a honourable mention itself
You can have my 3rd place. You deserve it for that amount of call volume.
My having a job that requires a lot of sitting around and waiting for something has a lot to do with the amount of posting I do. Most of my work consists of problems that average 10 minutes or less to fix remotely - and then two hours or so of watching and making sure nothing else is about to break.
That's a lot of thumb-twiddling time.