I am also one who discovered this thread via the newsletter (Thanks Mouser.)
I would like to parrot Nick's sentiments above and only add that while many have testified of the "sunshine" you have brought to DC I must admit that I have always seen much pain in your words and it tore my heart... and still does. I am glad that I was able to bring a smile (or at least a smirk
) to your face when I completed the "reparations." Thank you for your help in my experience with Delphi and your pretty avatars. My favorite was the "butterfly," but the copy you sent me was lost when a previous laptop died and the data backups proved to be corrupt, but I can still see it clear and crisp in my mind and I still wish it was your present avatar because it always
made me smile and that's no lie.
Dear One, I am only 52 and have over 70+ major failures since I was 15 (no exaggeration) that caused my parents, wife, children, family and friends much pain, but what else could I do, but try again! I did and am now enjoying the happiest years of my existence. Not only that, but I am now regularly guiding young and old people in seeing what life is all about! The greatest thrill of my life is watching people who thought they were down, look up and beam with the realization of their intrinsic value and realized potential!
I agree with you and others that it is time to take a step back when it isn't "fun" anymore, but at least go celebrate that you are free from the prison bars. I'm serious. Go out and enjoy some pizza and beverage with family and friends to celebrate your NEW BEGINNING
! This will help put it all in perspective and give you a boost to do what ya gotta do, but enjoy it!
You are not ignorant, stupid, dull, etc. I realize I am contradicting you in your evaluation of your coding, etc., but I can not agree with all your evaluation. Your years of self-taught computer training are not and were not wasted (remember the "butterfly"). You are very technically astute with a creative flair. You possess "tools" to make your life happy and my greatest wish is for you to find the place where every morning is another opportunity to find happiness. You need lots of happiness!
You know who I am and what I am about and I can assure you I am not being frivolous with your present pain. If my life had been all rosy and peaches, then I would keep silent, but I have never enjoyed the silver spoon. It is because I have faced multiple tragedies of my own doing and those foisted upon me that gives me the credentials to command your attention, if not now, then at some point in the near future. If I can be of any assistance, just PM and know I care.
Here is wishing you a brand new day... trust me, it's there!