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Last post Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]  (Read 1437710 times)

TaoPhoenix

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1700 on: June 01, 2013, 03:01:04 PM »
The Brid is the Wrod!
: )


app103

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1701 on: June 01, 2013, 03:18:12 PM »
(see attachment in previous post)
I'd like to suggest Microsoft do something similar for their current Windows 8 owners. :P

If only the bird was a dove surrounded by pastel colored roses. They could have charged full price by just adding an E.

Tinman57

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1702 on: June 01, 2013, 04:18:05 PM »

Quote
Was a squirrel discovered on Mars?
Summary: Close examination of a photo taken by NASA's Mars rover Curiosity appears to expose a small squirrel or rat on the Martian surface.


  Oh Yeah, I really believe this!  I just wonder how many idiots people actually do believe that....

marsrat.jpg

http://www.zdnet.com...d-on-mars-7000016191

Arizona Hot

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1703 on: June 01, 2013, 06:34:50 PM »
Public Toilet With WiFi.jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

There’s always a way.jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Tourist Shot User Manual.jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

Geeky Fun

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1704 on: June 02, 2013, 09:26:21 AM »
MYRON Greenberg, a wealthy L.A. businessman received a letter of Audit from the IRS.
It really upsets him and he called his Accountant, SAUL Meyers.
MYRON (pleading): “Saul, what are they doing to me? Why are they doing this to me?”’

SAUL (calming): “Myron, don’t worry about it. I’ve got all the receipts, the account is up to date, it’s no problem. But let me give you a bit of advice. When you go to the Audit, make a bad impression. Wear the crummiest, dirtiest clothes you’ve got. Have holes in your shoes, ripped pants and look shabby. I mean really look terrible, because if they have a little sympathy, they’ll go easy on you.”

Then Myron called his Lawyer, CHARLIE Steinberg.
CHARLIE: “Myron it’s no problem, I’m sure they got the receipts, I’m sure everything is up to date, you’ve got a great accountant, don’t worry about it. Let me give you a tip. When you go to the Audit, it’s very important that you make a good impression. Wear your best suit, and your shirt with a silk tie and cuff links and shine your shoes, look like somebody. Because if you look like a somebody they respect you and will go easy on you.”

And now he’s torn. And that night he bumped into his RABBI at the Deli. And he told the Rabbi the story.
RABBI: “Myron, it reminds me of sometimes when I perform a wedding. The bride’s father will tell his daughter that on her wedding night to wear a nightgown with a high collar and long sleeves and a full-length robe...cover up, you know, be a little demure. And the mother says, ‘Don’t be silly. Wear a low cut “negligee” with the cleavage sticking out --- look a little sexy’…. and Myron I will say to you just like I say to the Bride on her wedding night - it makes no difference what you wear, you’re gonna get f#ck#d”….
« Last Edit: June 06, 2013, 05:31:37 PM by IainB »

joiwind

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1705 on: June 02, 2013, 10:46:40 AM »
^^^

Who is Andy ? - you lost me there ...
.: I use K-Meleon - the browser you can control - but I love Pale Moon too :.

Curt

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1706 on: June 02, 2013, 10:54:04 AM »
-Andy is Myron.
and that was your post number 444, joiwind  :up:

joiwind

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1707 on: June 02, 2013, 12:24:15 PM »
and that was your post number 444, joiwind  :up:


Yikes  :tellme:
.: I use K-Meleon - the browser you can control - but I love Pale Moon too :.

40hz

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1708 on: June 06, 2013, 02:01:14 PM »
OK...a joke is a joke - but jeez guys!  :tellme: :o :'(

As reported by BoingBoing:

clown.jpg

Quote
This horrifying clown mannekin was reportedly placed on a hiking trail deep in the Oleta River in Aventura, Florida by a park employee who got it from the Enchanted Forest Elaine Gordon Park in North Miami.

If you went hiking through Oleta River in Aventura Florida last year, you probably shit your pants a couple miles in. (imgur.com)




superboyac

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1709 on: June 06, 2013, 03:15:00 PM »
 :lol: :eusa_naughty:
Oh man, that's terrifying.

Stoic Joker

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1710 on: June 06, 2013, 03:20:57 PM »
Sitting in the back woods of Florida ... I'm wondering how many bullet holes it has in it.

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1711 on: June 06, 2013, 05:28:24 PM »
^^^Who is Andy ? - you lost me there ...
Oh, thanks. A mistake. Fixed it now.

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1712 on: June 06, 2013, 05:41:25 PM »
Paperless future (video clip): http://www.flixxy.co...less-future-emma.htm

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1713 on: June 08, 2013, 05:01:10 AM »
Alternative uses for placentas, in New Zealand ...

Placenta 01 - in stolen car - screenshot.jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]

TaoPhoenix

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1714 on: June 08, 2013, 06:51:48 AM »
Paperless future (video clip): http://www.flixxy.co...less-future-emma.htm


I like this one!
I'm a "medium" paper user.

40hz

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1715 on: June 08, 2013, 01:44:32 PM »
Alternative uses for placentas, in New Zealand ...
 (see attachment in previous post)

Only in NZ! ;D

kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1716 on: June 08, 2013, 08:35:54 PM »
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, Enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, Then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!"
And pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.

wraith808

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1717 on: June 08, 2013, 09:09:42 PM »
Now that was a good one!

kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1718 on: June 08, 2013, 11:59:09 PM »
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."

kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1719 on: June 09, 2013, 12:01:29 AM »
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."

kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1720 on: June 09, 2013, 12:02:56 AM »
A man in South Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1721 on: June 09, 2013, 12:03:32 AM »
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

kyrathaba

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1722 on: June 09, 2013, 12:04:13 AM »
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."

"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "

Giampy

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1723 on: June 09, 2013, 03:30:33 AM »
Four men into a car ask to a prostitute:
"What's your price?"

"50$ in front and 100$ back"

The two men seated on the rear seats complain:
"Why should we pay more?????"
"A refrigerator without beer is like a body without soul"

IainB

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Re: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]
« Reply #1724 on: June 13, 2013, 11:13:25 AM »
Apparently a recent and genuine apology published in the Sun newspaper (UK):

Sun newspaper apology to aliens re Scientology slur.jpgsilly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content]