Author Topic: Cute jokes thread (Read 206,505 times)

rjbull · « **Reply #100 on:** December 31, 2011, 09:41 PM »

Quote from: cranioscopical on December 31, 2011, 05:43 PM

She's going on a chopping trip!

Oh, groan! Trust you!

Curt · « **Reply #101 on:** January 17, 2012, 09:21 AM »

http://www.offthemark.com/daily.php/

[attachimg=#]

Renegade · « **Reply #102 on:** January 17, 2012, 10:25 AM »

Here's a search that you will LOVE~!

~~Search for LOVE~!~~

Enjoy~!

Edit: Doesn't work... Paste this into Google then search:

sqrt(cos(x))*cos(200x)+sqrt(abs(x))-0.7)*(4-x*x)^0.01, sqr(9-x^2), -sqrt(9-x^2) from -4.5 to 4.5

Edit again:

Looks like it only works in Chrome...

Yay for web standards... $:-\$

Ath · « **Reply #103 on:** January 17, 2012, 11:46 AM »

Quote from: Renegade on January 17, 2012, 10:25 AM

Edit again:

Looks like it only works in Chrome...

Just ran fine in FireFox 9 here (nice result

), using google.com site

but also in our local google page

and also your original link works fine

Renegade · « **Reply #104 on:** January 17, 2012, 12:09 PM »

Hmmm... Didn't work in Opera for me. Meh.

Stoic Joker · « **Reply #105 on:** January 17, 2012, 12:35 PM »

Worked for me in IE9

Curt · « **Reply #106 on:** January 17, 2012, 12:44 PM »

your first link worked fine for me in Firefox, which first needed a little time to re-think, before the graph showed up.

youngjohn12 · « **Reply #107 on:** January 21, 2012, 02:27 PM »

Calvin & Hobbes was my preferred. Too bad the writer ceased. It really was the best comedian I've ever study.

Curt · « **Reply #108 on:** March 13, 2012, 10:57 PM »

[attachimg=#]

it is funny because it is true

IainB · « **Reply #109 on:** March 14, 2012, 12:29 AM »

Quote from: Renegade on January 17, 2012, 10:25 AM

... Paste this into Google then search:
sqrt(cos(x))*cos(200x)+sqrt(abs(x))-0.7)*(4-x*x)^0.01, sqr(9-x^2), -sqrt(9-x^2) from -4.5 to 4.5

Heh. Cute.

wraith808 · « **Reply #110 on:** March 14, 2012, 01:03 AM »

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.

The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

"What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.

"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans," he replies.

"Put them back, we can't afford them," demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.

"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.

Her husband retorts, "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."

Curt · « **Reply #111 on:** April 11, 2012, 01:54 PM »

seen on giveawayoftheday:

Quote from: Comment by devnulliu

All spelling mistakes are my own and may only be distributed under the GNU General Public License! – (© 95-1 by Coredump; 2-012 by DevNullius)

Giampy · « **Reply #112 on:** April 13, 2012, 12:29 PM »

Giampy · « **Reply #113 on:** April 13, 2012, 12:54 PM »

Giampy · « **Reply #114 on:** April 13, 2012, 01:25 PM »

rgdot · « **Reply #115 on:** April 14, 2012, 03:51 AM »

Curt · « **Reply #116 on:** April 14, 2012, 06:49 AM »

-wow, rgdot, that picture literally says more than words

Renegade · « **Reply #117 on:** April 14, 2012, 08:00 AM »

Quote from: Curt on April 14, 2012, 06:49 AM

-wow, rgdot, that picture literally says more than words

AOL was ahead of it's time?

Renegade · « **Reply #118 on:** April 15, 2012, 12:41 AM »

This is not a joke. This is real. I just noticed it on my iMac:

[attachimg=#]

TaoPhoenix · « **Reply #119 on:** April 15, 2012, 12:51 AM »

AOL had a couple killer ideas. They got washed out by the forces of time. I don't recall a screen ever like that, I was as loyal as they came.

That's why I posted some neutral comments about AOL's sale of patents to MS, AOL never ever threatened MS in the IP space that I recall in the news.

tomos · « **Reply #120 on:** April 15, 2012, 01:27 AM »

Quote from: TaoPhoenix on April 15, 2012, 12:51 AM

AOL had a couple killer ideas. They got washed out by the forces of time. I don't recall a screen ever like that, I was as loyal as they came.

if you look closely at the screenshot, it says Kids only -
I dont know what exactly it was, but that's maybe why you missed it.

Renegade · « **Reply #121 on:** April 15, 2012, 02:02 AM »

Quote from: tomos on April 15, 2012, 01:27 AM

Quote from: TaoPhoenix on April 15, 2012, 12:51 AM
AOL had a couple killer ideas. They got washed out by the forces of time. I don't recall a screen ever like that, I was as loyal as they came.

if you look closely at the screenshot, it says Kids only -
I dont know what exactly it was, but that's maybe why you missed it.

So MS is just going to treat everyone like children then, I suppose.

(Considering the pathetic state of education, I'm not surprised.)

Speaking of pathetic education...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Url1HL6oExk

And a bit funnier:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I7kq_kcu78

"You can lead a horse to water... But you can't drown it."

I remember one where Jay was asking, "In what year was the war of 1812?" Nobody got it right.

TaoPhoenix · « **Reply #122 on:** April 15, 2012, 04:39 PM »

Youtube's suggestions are funny. I got into the B movie section which actually has whole movies on it.

So now I'm giggling about a movie that could be entitled "Donation Horror". (It would work best as a total spoof of B- horror.)

"Once upon a time, Mouser decided not to put ads on the site. No, he didn't want to be all Web 2.5. So he made it into a fundraiser again. Little did he know, when he repaired that server outage a few weeks back crossed a wire into a Klein 4th dimensional loop, and set off a deep evil force all over DC - but yet it slumbered.

It awoke when the fundraiser began. At first, all seemed well. The original goal was $5,000. It was achieved, and everyone was happy.

But the money kept coming in. Mouser thanked everyone, sniffles of gratitude lurking in his countenance as he imagined what new improvements he could now afford...

But the money continued to come in. It just wouldn't stop. For the Donation Beast Essence was now hungry! However, no one knew this yet. Mouser set a new bonus goal, of $7,000. That was also achieved. More cheering, more pictures of cats. Yay!

The money flowed, like the biblical rivers of blood. Soon local color news stories began to pop up - people simply couldn't stop donating! From all over the country, a phenomenon had arisen... a desperate compulsion to donate!

Now panicking, Mouser called the authorities. He was afraid he was sounding like a crazed lunatic, but fortunately the police were already beginning to get reports. ...

To be continued...

Muahahaaaa!!!

mouser · « **Reply #123 on:** April 15, 2012, 04:47 PM »

So the truth got out about why we had to shut down the fundraiser in the middle of the month huh?

wraith808 · « **Reply #124 on:** April 19, 2012, 11:31 PM »