Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content] (Read 5,847,927 times)

Target · « **Reply #450 on:** April 29, 2012, 11:33 PM »

After a visit to the whore house, a man notices green lumps on his willy, so he goes to the doctor, very concerned.
“That’s serious” says the doctor. “You know how wrestlers get cauliflower ears?”
“Yes” says the man seriously.
“Well” says the doctor “You’ve got brothel sprouts.”

Renegade · « **Reply #451 on:** May 01, 2012, 06:28 AM »

Quote from: Target on April 29, 2012, 11:33 PM

“Well” says the doctor “You’ve got brothel sprouts.”

Hahahaha~! I like that one~!

Got a real, true, honest idiotic statement from a politician...

Speaking about protesters and mass strikes & protests in New York city, Mayor Bloomberg says...

Quote

They don’t have a right to disrupt other people and keep other people from protesting...

Bwahahahaha~!

Source: http://rt.com/usa/news/general-strike-us-ows-329/

Quote from: Richard J. Daley

Gentlemen, let's get this thing straight, once and for all. The policeman is not here to create disorder. The policeman is here to preserve disorder.

Renegade · « **Reply #452 on:** May 04, 2012, 09:58 AM »

This is just fucking beautiful~!

Oh, it's VERY NSFW, so do keep that in mind. Enjoy~!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPM_Bnzgri8

I love Adam Kokesh~!

TaoPhoenix · « **Reply #453 on:** May 04, 2012, 11:03 AM »

That is wonderful indeed. Is it per incident or per violator? Someone with too much time on their hands should post the count of swears in that video!

Edvard · « **Reply #454 on:** May 13, 2012, 11:01 PM »

This is my favoritest joke in the entire world, and it's quite silly.
Cracks me up every time I tell it...

*snicker*

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha!!!!!

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #455 on:** May 27, 2012, 11:55 PM »

4 questions:

1) What do you do if you come to a spork in the road?

2) Who is the most likely person to use a spork?

3) What kind of food do you eat with a spork?

4) Does anyone here own a descendant of Schrödinger's cat? You can tell if you have one if you can see it but not in a mirror.

My answers will be given later in order to see what other people answer.

Shades · « **Reply #456 on:** May 28, 2012, 01:27 PM »

1) Bend one leg from the spork. That way I can use it as a wind vane, which would help me which way to go.
2) The person who likes to fly kites?
3) Any kind of soup with meaty parts in it?
4) Couldn't tell, my dog keeps chasing all cats away.

tomos · « **Reply #457 on:** May 28, 2012, 07:02 PM »

Quote from: Arizona Hot on May 27, 2012, 11:55 PM

4) Does anyone here own a descendant of Schrödinger's cat? You can tell if you have one if you can see it but not in a mirror.

4) I do but it stays out in the woods behind the house

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #458 on:** May 29, 2012, 03:16 AM »

Quote from: Arizona Hot on May 27, 2012, 11:55 PM

4 questions:

1) What do you do if you come to a spork in the road?

You go both ways. It's a quantum thing.

2) Who is the most likely person to use a spork?

One born with a plastic spork in their mouth.

3) What kind of food do you eat with a spork?

Spork chops

4) Does anyone here own a descendant of Schrödinger's cat? You can tell if you have one if you can see it but not in a mirror.

No, but one tried to bite my neck once.

IainB · « **Reply #459 on:** May 29, 2012, 06:39 PM »

A friend just sent me this link to product reviews for Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml, on Amazon:
here.

Silly.

tomos · « **Reply #460 on:** May 29, 2012, 08:49 PM »

Quote from: IainB on May 29, 2012, 06:39 PM

Silly.

I especially liked the poetry:
Spiced nuts

IainB · « **Reply #461 on:** May 30, 2012, 11:48 PM »

Obscene phonecall?:

Quote

The phone rings, at a married couple's house, and the wife answers.

Wife: Hello!

Caller: (with heavy breathing) "I bet you have a tight ars*h*le with no hair."

Wife: "Yes. Hang on a moment, he's watching TV. Who shall I say is calling?"

SoldierByte · « **Reply #462 on:** May 31, 2012, 01:38 AM »

I took a short video of
my dog in my back yard..
He acts a fool
for food..!!!

IainB · « **Reply #463 on:** June 01, 2012, 03:19 AM »

I was coming home from work today and I saw a nun riding on a Clowns back. Now that’s just virgin on the ridiculous.
Koreans have recently brought out their own vegetarian version of an instant noodle snack. It’s called Not Poodle.
The Kama Sutra has announced a new sex position called The Delivery Guy: You stay in all day but nobody comes.
Had a pelican curry in the local Indian restaurant last night - tasted good but the bill was enormous.
London Met Police have advised that a truck has just overturned on the M1 motorway - the truck had been loaded with Vicks vapour rub. Police said there will be no congestion for eight hours.
My mate dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water... I think he meant well.
Just bought the wife a new bag and a belt for her birthday... the hoover works perfectly now.
I was thinking, the human brain is such an amazing thing, but then it occurred to me – what’s telling me that? Bloody showoff.
I hear that the credit crunch is even affecting fairgrounds. My friend’s a dodgems operator and he lost his job this morning. He’s suing for funfair dismissal.
I met this girl last night who was a really ugly, I said "What’s your name? "Tuesday" she replied. I said, "That’s a strange name." She said, "Yeah, when I was born my mum and dad looked in the cot and said, "I think we’d better call it a day.""
Manchester Police have advised that an elephant has been spotted doing a ton on the M62 motorway. They are advising motorists to treat it as a roundabout.

4wd · « **Reply #464 on:** June 01, 2012, 04:39 AM »

Quote

For the love of all that is decent, do NOT choose the "Buy It Used" option. Just trust me on this one.

(Written from my hospital bed)

IainB · « **Reply #465 on:** June 01, 2012, 07:32 AM »

Yum. Wabbit.

IainB · « **Reply #466 on:** June 11, 2012, 12:09 AM »

I really like this wallpaper!

[attachthumb=#]

Renegade · « **Reply #467 on:** June 11, 2012, 01:40 AM »

You're looking for this:

[attachimg=#]

i.e. => attachthumb

IainB · « **Reply #468 on:** June 11, 2012, 02:21 AM »

@Renegade: Thankyou! I have amended the post.
I don't really understand how all those image options work.

Renegade · « **Reply #469 on:** June 11, 2012, 02:25 AM »

I love that phrase -- I AM the danger~!

For the options, forget "inline" as they are all inline.

Display is for files. (correct me if I'm wrong)

Fullsize is for full sized images.

Thumb is for having a small image like above - then click to zoom.

NoImage is for files - one option displays the number of downloads while the other doesn't.

I hope that helps.

Renegade · « **Reply #470 on:** June 11, 2012, 04:15 PM »

A friend posted this on FB. I thought it was rather funny~!

[attachimg=#]

Deozaan · « **Reply #471 on:** June 11, 2012, 11:35 PM »

That picture is obviously a fake! The Hulk is too happy.

IainB · « **Reply #472 on:** June 12, 2012, 12:50 AM »

That is a statement born out of ignorance. The Hulk could often be happy, it was only in comics that he was depicted as being morose/unhappy.

Deozaan · « **Reply #473 on:** June 12, 2012, 01:57 AM »

But... when he's not angry, he's not the Hulk!

mouser · « **Reply #474 on:** June 12, 2012, 02:19 AM »

Quote

The Hulk could often be happy, it was only in comics that he was depicted as being morose/unhappy.

Umm.. it was only in "comics" that he was unhappy? As opposed to? Real life when he was hanging out with jesus?

Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content] (Read 5,847,927 times)

SoldierByte