Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content] (Read 5,847,927 times)

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #500 on:** June 24, 2012, 05:44 AM »

Has anyone here tried one of the new digital drills? They have drill bytes, not bits and those are programmable for just about any use.

Giampy · « **Reply #501 on:** June 24, 2012, 03:05 PM »

A man is near two cows, one white, one black.
A passerby asks him:
"What is their value?"
"The white one 1000$"
"And the black one?"
"The black one too"

"And how much milk they produce every day?"
"The white one ten liters"
"And the black one?"
"The black one too"

"And how much food they eat every day?"
"The white one thirty kilograms"
"And the black one?"
"The black one too"

"Excuse me: when I ask you something about those cows, why do you answer about the white one only?"
"Because the white one is mine"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"And the black one?"
"The black one too"

Renegade · « **Reply #502 on:** June 24, 2012, 03:36 PM »

Quote from: Arizona Hot on June 24, 2012, 05:44 AM

Has anyone here tried one of the new digital drills? They have drill bytes, not bits and those are programmable for just about any use.

So is that 8 holes per screw or 1 hole per 8 screws?

TaoPhoenix · « **Reply #503 on:** June 25, 2012, 05:31 PM »

Quote from: Renegade on June 24, 2012, 03:36 PM

So is that 8 holes per screw or 1 hole per 8 screws?

Heh - and with THAT setup I can not longer resist: Guess the Celebrity!

From Wikipedia:
"He earned a bachelor's degree in education and theatre and a master's degree in special education from Queens College in New York. He taught special-education classes in the New York City area and was a substitute teacher for regular classes."

Renegade · « **Reply #504 on:** June 25, 2012, 06:38 PM »

Quote from: TaoPhoenix on June 25, 2012, 05:31 PM

Quote from: Renegade on June 24, 2012, 03:36 PM
So is that 8 holes per screw or 1 hole per 8 screws?

Heh - and with THAT setup I can not longer resist: Guess the Celebrity!

From Wikipedia:
"He earned a bachelor's degree in education and theatre and a master's degree in special education from Queens College in New York. He taught special-education classes in the New York City area and was a substitute teacher for regular classes."

Kotter~!

Welcome back~!

IainB · « **Reply #505 on:** July 09, 2012, 01:18 PM »

A young girl started work in the village chemist shop. She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public.

The owner was going on holiday for a couple of days and asked if she would be willing to run the shop on her own.

She had to confide in him her worries about selling the contraceptives.

"Look," he said. "My regular customers dont ask for condoms. They'll ask for a 310 [small] a 320 [medium] or a 330 [large]. The word condom wont even be used.

The first day was fine but on the second day a black guy came in to the shop, put out his hand and said "350".
The girl panicked. She phoned the owner on his mobile and told him of her predicament.

"Go back in and check if he has a yellow bucket hanging between his legs" her boss told her.

She peeped through the door and saw the yellow bucket hanging between his legs.

"Yes", she said " He's got one hanging there"....

The boss said "Go back in and give him £3-50 .......he's the window cleaner"

IainB · « **Reply #506 on:** July 09, 2012, 02:38 PM »

I was doing something on the website at http://www.codeproject.com/, when I got an error message. This was the image on the error page I got ("something bad happened"):
[attachthumb=#]

Loved it.

jadinolf · « **Reply #507 on:** July 09, 2012, 10:37 PM »

Quote from: zridling on February 11, 2009, 08:55 AM

(see attachment in previous post)

Is there no Laugh?

IainB · « **Reply #508 on:** July 10, 2012, 08:16 AM »

At least they admit it...
[attach]

IainB · « **Reply #509 on:** July 10, 2012, 08:16 AM »

Quote from: jadinolf on July 09, 2012, 10:37 PM

Is there no Laugh?

Fixed it.

tomos · « **Reply #510 on:** July 10, 2012, 09:41 AM »

Renegade · « **Reply #511 on:** July 10, 2012, 01:29 PM »

Quote from: IainB on July 10, 2012, 08:16 AM

At least they admit it... (see attachment in previous post)

Hahahaha~!

Love it!

IainB · « **Reply #512 on:** July 13, 2012, 05:07 PM »

Probably apocryphal, but amusing nonetheless:

[attach]

Giampy · « **Reply #513 on:** July 18, 2012, 09:09 PM »

tomos · « **Reply #514 on:** July 18, 2012, 09:23 PM »

^ no-one's going to steal that one anyway

kyrathaba · « **Reply #515 on:** July 19, 2012, 12:39 AM »

[attach]

Josh · « **Reply #516 on:** July 22, 2012, 12:54 PM »

If facebook were done in the Windows 3.11 days...

Renegade · « **Reply #517 on:** July 22, 2012, 01:07 PM »

Quote from: Josh on July 22, 2012, 12:54 PM

If facebook were done in the Windows 3.11 days...

"Biznatch"

TaoPhoenix · « **Reply #518 on:** July 23, 2012, 11:25 AM »

Quote from: Renegade on June 25, 2012, 06:38 PM

Quote from: TaoPhoenix on June 25, 2012, 05:31 PM
Quote from: Renegade on June 24, 2012, 03:36 PM
So is that 8 holes per screw or 1 hole per 8 screws?

Heh - and with THAT setup I can not longer resist: Guess the Celebrity!

From Wikipedia:
"He earned a bachelor's degree in education and theatre and a master's degree in special education from Queens College in New York. He taught special-education classes in the New York City area and was a substitute teacher for regular classes."

Kotter~!

Welcome back~!

Incorrect answer. The correct answer is :

This fellow:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_Jeremy

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #519 on:** July 24, 2012, 12:42 AM »

Joke for Nerds humor here and here. Let me know what you think of them.

Renegade · « **Reply #520 on:** July 24, 2012, 01:47 AM »

Here's a new "The Oatmeal" cartoon:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/religion

On religion. And hilarious.

IainB · « **Reply #521 on:** July 24, 2012, 04:33 AM »

Quote from: Renegade on July 24, 2012, 01:47 AM

Here's a new "The Oatmeal" cartoon:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/religion
On religion. And hilarious.

They were good. Thanks.
In like kind, take a look at this clip of 3 rather interesting Candid Camera fake interviews, from an Egyptian TV channel.
One of them - the first - goes horribly wrong, and for a moment it looks like the guy is about to pull a gun on someone (though he ends up breaking furniture and punching the female interviewer and some of the offstage TV staff).
YouTube link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FBr_-v39vg

I've never seen anything like it before. A glimpse into another world.

Renegade · « **Reply #522 on:** July 24, 2012, 05:39 AM »

Quote from: IainB on July 24, 2012, 04:33 AM

In like kind, take a look at this clip of 3 rather interesting Candid Camera fake interviews, from an Egyptian TV channel.
One of them - the first - goes horribly wrong, and for a moment it looks like the guy is about to pull a gun on someone (though he ends up breaking furniture and punching the female interviewer and some of the offstage TV staff).
YouTube link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPLFrLOet0Y

I've never seen anything like it before. A glimpse into another world.

How to describe that? Umm... Unfunny?

"Candid camera" shows really are quite dangerous sometimes. I've seen some where I've been surprised that they don't get violent. Not a fan of them. Most often they just seem cruel to me.

Stoic Joker · « **Reply #523 on:** July 24, 2012, 11:50 AM »

Quote from: Renegade on July 24, 2012, 05:39 AM

"Candid camera" shows really are quite dangerous sometimes. I've seen some where I've been surprised that they don't get violent. Not a fan of them. Most often they just seem cruel to me.

+1 - The show Scare Tactics on SciFi comes to mind ... Why is it that reveling in the torture of another is considered entertainment?

Shades · « **Reply #524 on:** July 24, 2012, 04:04 PM »

@ Stoic Joker:
Schadenfreude (likely incorrectly written, because my German is very "rusty") is the word you are looking for.

As I understand German is the only language (brave enough) to have a word for what you just described.