Author Topic: Sci-fi novel now available from DC member kyrathaba! (Read 650,928 times)

ewemoa · « **Reply #100 on:** June 17, 2013, 11:35 PM »

So where is the app that is going to come out of this regarding the facilitation of exchange and management of change suggestions in written works?

kyrathaba · « **Reply #101 on:** June 18, 2013, 12:19 AM »

I was only bolding for emphasis here on the board. It's not bolded in the book.

Basically, I was trying to show the difference between this:

now".

and this...

now."

kyrathaba · « **Reply #102 on:** June 18, 2013, 12:20 AM »

Quote

So where is the app that is going to come out of this regarding the facilitation of exchange and management of change suggestions in written works?

Microsoft Word in mark-up mode?

Although I know what you mean, ewemoa. Why don't you code it for NANY 2014?

kyrathaba · « **Reply #103 on:** June 18, 2013, 12:51 AM »

For the convenience of proof-readers who may not want to have to keep downloading epub or mobi files, I've added a link to the entire book online, in html format. This is the link, and it's also found in the OP.

kyrathaba · « **Reply #104 on:** June 18, 2013, 01:04 AM »

1. How many forum members/visitors are reading this work? I know about 40hz, 4wd, and Perry Mowbray. Anyone else?

2. Who is your favorite male character? Favorite female character?

3. Favorite scene so far in the book (up through end of Ch. 10)

TaoPhoenix · « **Reply #105 on:** June 18, 2013, 01:13 AM »

Quote from: kyrathaba on June 18, 2013, 01:04 AM

1. How many forum members/visitors are reading this work? I know about 40hz, 4wd, and Perry Mowbray. Anyone else?

I'm "lurking nearby"! : )

Perry Mowbray · « **Reply #106 on:** June 18, 2013, 02:08 AM »

Quote from: kyrathaba on June 18, 2013, 12:20 AM

Quote
So where is the app that is going to come out of this regarding the facilitation of exchange and management of change suggestions in written works?

Microsoft Word in mark-up mode?

Although I know what you mean, ewemoa. Why don't you code it for NANY 2014?

I've used Google docs successfully for small numbers of people, tho' the rules are not there like in MSWord.

Wouldn't a change timeline feature be cool (so you could see the evolution by changing a slider)... or even author selector...

4wd · « **Reply #107 on:** June 18, 2013, 02:20 AM »

Chapter 9:

Quote

One of the first things she would want to do would be to get with the top roboticists in Engineering and get a pair of robot probes prepared to travel downriver underwater, ....

Since we're already narrating w.r.t Jaimie's POV, (even though in third person), I feel the 'she' is redundant. Substituting 'organize' makes 'prepared' redundant, perhaps:

One of the first things would be to meet with the top roboticists in Engineering and organize a pair of robot to travel downriver underwater, ....

You managed to sneak a couple more in while I wasn't looking

Quote

It was a sphere approximately two miles in diameter, a small moon of a metallic composite.

Quote

Right now, she carried the seven-foot length of wood like a walking staff, pointy end up.

Although, I'm in two minds about the last since within 'Kyrathaba', if it was to be marketed as an escapist game, they would undoubtedly have used a completely different scale of measurements so as to truly distance it from reality. Of course, that opens up even more cans of worms trying to remember to switch back and forth depending where the story is located at that time, but it's been done before in novels.

Quote from: kyrathaba on June 18, 2013, 12:51 AM

For the convenience of proof-readers who may not want to have to keep downloading epub or mobi files, I've added a link to the entire book online, in html format.

That certainly makes my posts easier but I find it good to be able to read the epub on my phone where I can bookmark passages, (FBReader), and then when I'm sitting in front of the computer, refer back to them.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Quote

Although I know what you mean, ewemoa. Why don't you code it for NANY 2014?

I think it would read better like so:

I know what you mean though, ewemoa, why don't you code it for NANY 2014?

Yes, I'm being silly....

Perry Mowbray · « **Reply #108 on:** June 18, 2013, 02:34 AM »

I'm not on a epub reader (using the html at work) so no page.paragraphs...

Chapter 10:
"But the more people I bring into my circle of confidence, the more potential humans an invasion force could torture for information extraction." 'potential humans'?

"The group sat in a tavern within the town that styled itself “The Prancing Unicorn”" styled??

kyrathaba · « **Reply #109 on:** June 18, 2013, 03:13 AM »

Thanks 4wd and Perry. Your noted areas of concern have been addressed and will be reflected in future uploads. The locals in the Land of Kyrathaba environment/reality use a length of measurement they call a lambit, which is equal to 46 cm. When trying to explain smaller distances, somehow compare it to a fraction of a lambit, by estimating how many of those lengths would have to be connected to equal a lambit. Convoluted and archaic, right? When discussing walking/traveling distances, they discuss the Greater Lambit, which is equal to 1,000 lambits.
Within the context of the Earth environment in the book (non-Kyrathaba reality), I'll stick with metric.

4wd · « **Reply #110 on:** June 18, 2013, 03:24 AM »

Chapter 10:

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Mephord stood at the podium and looked out over the community...

I think the above is redundant, you stated in the previous paragraph where he was standing, so:

Mephord looked out over the community...

Quote

Our overall population in A-3 has increased by two in ....

“Our overall population in A-3 has increased by two in ....

Quote

“May we continue to increase in numbers, until we again swell to fill this compound. ...

The 'swell' seems to be redundant due to the preceding 'increase in numbers', but it does have a slightly more emotional overtone, so possibly:

“May our numbers continue to swell until we again fill this compound. ...

Quote

... drilled down ever further at at thirty-degree slope ...

... drilled down ever further at a thirty-degree slope ...

Quote

... and she added that task to her implant task list.

'task is possibly redundant:

... and she added that to her implant task list.

Perry Mowbray · « **Reply #111 on:** June 18, 2013, 03:25 AM »

Quote from: kyrathaba on June 18, 2013, 03:13 AM

I'll stick with metric.

Eh? Where? Surely you don't call "inch / foot / mile" metric?

kyrathaba · « **Reply #112 on:** June 18, 2013, 03:34 AM »

No. I've changed those to metric: the spaceship isn't 2 miles in diameter, it's 3.2 km. Zuzana's staff isnt 7 foot, its (roughly) 1.75 meters.

kyrathaba · « **Reply #113 on:** June 18, 2013, 03:35 AM »

@4wd: excellent feedback. I'll make the edits tomorrow.

4wd · « **Reply #114 on:** June 18, 2013, 03:40 AM »

Quote from: kyrathaba on June 18, 2013, 03:34 AM

No. I've changed those to metric: the spaceship isn't 2 miles in diameter, it's 3.2 km. Zuzana's staff isnt 7 foot, its (roughly) 1.75 meters.

2.1 meters would put you closer to the mark but, personally, unless the story relies upon exact measurements for something I'd be rounding to the nearest convenient whole unit.

eg. spaceship approximately 3km in diameter and staff 2 meters long.

kyrathaba · « **Reply #115 on:** June 18, 2013, 03:47 AM »

I was just thinking along those lines.

kyrathaba · « **Reply #116 on:** June 18, 2013, 03:22 PM »

I found The Readability Test Tool this morning. Tested my Prologue with it, and got the following results:

[attach]

wraith808 · « **Reply #117 on:** June 18, 2013, 03:52 PM »

Ooh thanks! And I didn't see your earlier question... I'm mostly writing stories to support the RPGs I created and finish those. I tend to get distracted by a lot of different projects.

40hz · « **Reply #118 on:** June 19, 2013, 12:36 AM »

Quote from: ewemoa on June 17, 2013, 11:35 PM

So where is the app that is going to come out of this regarding the facilitation of exchange and management of change suggestions in written works?

Um...I think that's called a version/revision control system?

Seriously. A couple of writers I know who collaborate and co-author scripts for graphic novels use TortoiseSVN.

I suggested they also use a wiki to keep track of their ever evolving story universe - which they since have.

This wiki has evolved over time to become a comprehensive encyclopedia which they may someday release as its own thing - or be the core of a website - if their series ever catches on big.

kyrathaba · « **Reply #119 on:** June 19, 2013, 12:48 AM »

I'm familiar with TortoiseSVN. I use it when I development in C#. Great tool!

I'm working on Ch. 11 this evening.

Still hoping for some replies to my questions a few posts ago:

Quote

Who is your favorite male character? Favorite female character?

Favorite scene so far in the book (up through end of Ch. 10)?

4wd · « **Reply #120 on:** June 19, 2013, 02:02 AM »

Quote from: kyrathaba on June 19, 2013, 12:48 AM

Quote
Who is your favorite male character? Favorite female character?

Favorite scene so far in the book (up through end of Ch. 10)?

I'm afraid I won't be able to help you much on the favourite character aspect, I don't have any when I'm reading a book, (or watching a film). I tend to regard them as just another "object" within the whole fictional environment.

Seeing as my preference is for authors like Alistair Maclean, Dean Koontz, Matthew Reilly, Clive Cussler, etc - the action scene in the Shaft for me

ewemoa · « **Reply #121 on:** June 19, 2013, 02:37 AM »

Quote from: 40hz on June 19, 2013, 12:36 AM

Quote from: ewemoa on June 17, 2013, 11:35 PM
So where is the app that is going to come out of this regarding the facilitation of exchange and management of change suggestions in written works?

Um...I think that's called a version/revision control system?

Yes...it'd be nice if all participants already knew how to use such a system

kyrathaba · « **Reply #122 on:** June 19, 2013, 03:55 AM »

Google Docs, or a custom PHP website solution.

kyrathaba · « **Reply #123 on:** June 19, 2013, 02:11 PM »

New upload in OP just now, containing the addition of Chapter 11 to the novel.

Quote

Work on this project began on Thursday, June 6, 2013.

Prologue: 1,932 words
Chapter 1: 3,423 words
Chapter 2: 3,546 words
Chapter 3: 3,486 words
Chapter 4: 3,384 words
Chapter 5: 2,787 words
Chapter 6: 1,281 words
Chapter 7: 1,993 words
Chapter 8: 2,130 words
Chapter 9: 2,222 words
Chapter 10: 2,778 words
Chapter 11: 2,985 words

Total words (not counting front- or back-matter): 31,947 {~40% finished with novel}

kyrathaba · « **Reply #124 on:** June 19, 2013, 09:32 PM »

I have gone back over Ch. 11 and corrected and rephrased in some places. Therefore, there is a revised edition of the book, to date, through Chapter 11, in both MOBI and EPUB formats downloadable on the OP and with this link. The online HTML version of the book has also been updated.

Work on this project began on Thursday, June 6, 2013.

Updated Progression:

Prologue: 1,932 words {Cumulative: 1,932}
Chapter 1: 3,423 words {Cumulative: 5,355}
Chapter 2: 3,546 words {Cumulative: 8,901}
Chapter 3: 3,486 words {Cumulative: 12,387}
Chapter 4: 3,384 words {Cumulative: 15,771}
Chapter 5: 2,787 words {Cumulative: 18,558}
Chapter 6: 1,281 words {Cumulative: 19,839}
Chapter 7: 1,993 words {Cumulative: 21,832}
Chapter 8: 2,130 words {Cumulative: 23,962}
Chapter 9: 2,222 words {Cumulative: 26,184}
Chapter 10: 2,777 words {Cumulative: 28,961}
Chapter 11: 3,058 words {Cumulative: 32,019}

Average Chapter length: 2,668.25 words

Average words added per waking hour: 154