Author Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content] (Read 5,847,927 times)

kyrathaba · « **Reply #1526 on:** April 23, 2013, 12:33 PM »

^ Love it, Stephen!

wraith808 · « **Reply #1527 on:** April 23, 2013, 06:22 PM »

app103 · « **Reply #1528 on:** April 23, 2013, 07:35 PM »

All occasion greeting card.

kyrathaba · « **Reply #1529 on:** April 23, 2013, 09:35 PM »

^ wraith and app, love 'em!!

kyrathaba · « **Reply #1530 on:** April 24, 2013, 12:20 AM »

OLD TIMER'S HOSPITAL STAY

I am a pretty sick old man.

One week I was sick and in the hospital.

There was one nurse that just drove me crazy.

Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a little child.

She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, 'And how are we doing this morning?'

Or 'Are we ready for a bath', or 'Are we hungry ?'

I had had enough of this particular nurse.

One day, at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bed side stand.

Later, I was given a urine bottle to fill for testing.

So you know where the juice went !

The nurse came in a little later, picked up the urine bottle and looked at it.

'My, it seems we are a little cloudy today. '

At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, 'Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time.'

The nurse fainted..........

I just smiled.

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #1531 on:** April 25, 2013, 03:34 AM »

Something Wraith808 ↑ would like.

[attach=#]

nosh · « **Reply #1532 on:** April 25, 2013, 06:31 AM »

Somewhere in southern India.

[attachimg=#]

Stoic Joker · « **Reply #1533 on:** April 25, 2013, 11:48 AM »

(meaning lost in translation) Which only server to clarify why phone support is so painfully difficult these days.

kyrathaba · « **Reply #1534 on:** April 25, 2013, 12:00 PM »

^ It's like this deep proverb is almost understandable, but skims away from me grabbing hold of it...

tomos · « **Reply #1535 on:** April 25, 2013, 01:23 PM »

Quote from: kyrathaba on April 25, 2013, 12:00 PM

^ It's like this deep proverb is almost understandable [...]

that's the thing,
I dont think it was meant to be (a) a proverb; or (b) deep

... but that was *your* joke, wasn't it

edit/ can you read it nosh? (if so, rough translation please!)

kyrathaba · « **Reply #1536 on:** April 25, 2013, 02:15 PM »

The Psychiatrist and Proctologist

Two doctors, a psychiatrist and a proctologist, opened an office
In a small town and put up a sign reading:
"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysteria's and Posteriors."

The town council was not happy with the sign, so the doctors
changed it to read, "Schizoids and Haemorrhoids."
This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the Council,
they changed the sign to "Catatonics and High Colonic's." No go.

Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentive's."

Thumbs down Again.

Then came "Minds and Behinds." Still no good.

Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes."

Unacceptable again!

So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts." Not a chance.

"Nuts and Butts?" No way.

"Freaks and Cheeks?" Still no go.

"Loons and Moons?" Forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the doctors finally came up with:

"Dr.. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends."

Everyone loved it.

nosh · « **Reply #1537 on:** April 25, 2013, 02:27 PM »

Quote from: tomos on April 25, 2013, 01:23 PM

edit/ can you read it nosh? (if so, rough translation please!)

Haha! No, I can't. We have a few hundred local languages. I speak three and am somewhat fluent in one. I couldn't even tell you which language that is.

Tinman57 · « **Reply #1538 on:** April 26, 2013, 12:27 AM »

[attach]

app103 · « **Reply #1539 on:** April 27, 2013, 11:17 AM »

Animated GIF of Patrick Stewart aging over the past 20 years...

TaoPhoenix · « **Reply #1540 on:** April 27, 2013, 03:23 PM »

That looks static App. Am I missing something?

Ath · « **Reply #1541 on:** April 27, 2013, 03:48 PM »

Quote from: TaoPhoenix on April 27, 2013, 03:23 PM

That looks static App. Am I missing something?

I assumed that that was the joke...

app103 · « **Reply #1542 on:** April 27, 2013, 04:22 PM »

Quote from: Ath on April 27, 2013, 03:48 PM

Quote from: TaoPhoenix on April 27, 2013, 03:23 PM
That looks static App. Am I missing something?
I assumed that that was the joke...

Yup!

Giampy · « **Reply #1543 on:** April 28, 2013, 03:01 PM »

The elderly and young people today:

[attach]

TaoPhoenix · « **Reply #1544 on:** April 28, 2013, 03:15 PM »

Quote from: app103 on April 27, 2013, 04:22 PM

Quote from: Ath on April 27, 2013, 03:48 PM
Quote from: TaoPhoenix on April 27, 2013, 03:23 PM
That looks static App. Am I missing something?
I assumed that that was the joke...

Yup!

Well okay then, well played!

TaoPhoenix · « **Reply #1545 on:** April 29, 2013, 09:48 AM »

Jeff Foxworthy says:
"If you park your car in a tree, you might be a RedNeck".

http://kptv.images.worldnow.com/images/22100451_BG2.jpg

kyrathaba · « **Reply #1546 on:** April 29, 2013, 06:46 PM »

[attach]

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #1547 on:** April 30, 2013, 02:34 AM »

[attach=#]

Arizona Hot · « **Reply #1548 on:** April 30, 2013, 02:41 AM »

[attachthumb=#]

Switch to the Nokia Lumia 920 Windows Phone

Microsoft commercial with Apple-Samsung wedding brawl.

KynloStephen66515 · « **Reply #1549 on:** April 30, 2013, 03:26 AM »

Breakfast In Bed?