Topic: silly humor - post 'em here! [warning some NSFW and adult content] (Read 5,847,927 times)
I wonder what logic caused them to draw the line at IE v3.0 ... Was that even a Windows program, or did DOS have a browser??
) brought this utterly tasteless one to my attention. (Go figure! 
) Definitely NFC and NSFW:My GF (much to my surprise
My GF (much to my surprise
During the Africa Summit “Resilience and Food Security in a Changing Climate” panel, Secretary of State John Kerry told an audience that “8,000 children die every day” and in sub-Sahara Africa, one in four suffer from chronic hunger.
Then a few minutes later, he stressed how creating new farms would cause too much carbon pollution so they need to discourage more farm land.
Top 5 Africa Summit Highlights | The Daily Caller
More strange Government logic=silly humour:QuoteDuring the Africa Summit “Resilience and Food Security in a Changing Climate” panel, Secretary of State John Kerry told an audience that “8,000 children die every day” and in sub-Sahara Africa, one in four suffer from chronic hunger.
Then a few minutes later, he stressed how creating new farms would cause too much carbon pollution so they need to discourage more farm land.
Top 5 Africa Summit Highlights | The Daily Caller
That boy is one of the funniest every time he opens his mouth. I wonder if he ever listens to what he says.Prolly not. Then he'd have to show/demonstrate recognition of what he just said
. I'm not particularly anti-Kerry, but I do get a lot of laughs of his public statements .
Little Johnny asks his Dad: "I have this homework on politics and economy and I'm not if I understand it"
Dad says: "Use the family as an example. I make the money so I'm the Capitalists, your mother deals it out, so she's the Government, we look after you, so you're the People, the baby is the Future, and we pay the maid so she is the Working Class"
That night Johnny is woken up by the baby crying, so he checks it and it needs changing. So he goes to tell his parents, but only his mother is there and she doesn't wake up. He goes to tell the maid, but finds that she's 'busy' with his dad.
He goes back to bed.
Next morning his dad asks how he is going with the homework. Johnny says: "I think I understand it. The Capitalists screw the Working Class while the Government is asleep. The People are ignored and the Future is full of sh*t"
Little Johnny asks his Dad: "I have this homework on politics and economy and I'm not if I understand it"
Dad says: "Use the family as an example. I make the money so I'm the Capitalists, your mother deals it out, so she's the Government, we look after you, so you're the People, the baby is the Future, and we pay the maid so she is the Working Class"
That night Johnny is woken up by the baby crying, so he checks it and it needs changing. So he goes to tell his parents, but only his mother is there and she doesn't wake up. He goes to tell the maid, but finds that she's 'busy' with his dad.
He goes back to bed.
Next morning his dad asks how he is going with the homework. Johnny says: "I think I understand it. The Capitalists screw the Working Class while the Government is asleep. The People are ignored and the Future is full of sh*t"
Of course that leaves only the People to change the Future, but they don't want to roll up their sleeves and get their hands dirty. They would rather forget about it and go back to sleep, hoping someone else will come along and clean it up.
...Of course that leaves only the People to change the Future...Very droll.
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Some really good doge jokes here: ...Good ones!
![10583817_10152562549261112_8970469480798046651_n[1].png](/forum/attachments/85431/10583817_10152562549261112_8970469480798046651_n[1].png)
"Can I ask you a favor?" said the waitress.
The three CEOs glanced at the clocks on their smartphones, then at the tiny cafe, which was deserted at 6 a.m.
"I just got a call from the day care center, and my two-year-old is sick. I have to go. Would...?"
The raised eyebrow of one CEO said it all. They had worked hard to carve 60 minutes out of their schedules to begin discussions on a merger. Now this.
"I know it sounds weird, but if one of you would stay and cover for me, I'd really appreciate it. I'll lose my job otherwise." She sounded desperate. "The manager's on vacation, the morning rush starts in about 10 minutes and there's just me and the cook till lunch. If I leave now, we'd have to close."
Two of the CEOs stood immediately. They both said they had meetings back to back that morning. The third looked at them, but stayed seated. "Let's reschedule," he said to the other CEOs. Then he looked at the waitress and started rolling up his sleeves.
"Do you have a clean apron?"
---
The waitress returned around 11 a.m. after taking her son to the doctor and dropping him with Grandma on the other side of town.
The cook and the CEO sat drinking smoothies in the kitchen. She thanked them both profusely for covering her shift.
The cook said it was nothing, though this CEO was the worst waiter in the history of humankind. Total disaster, said the cook. Then he and the CEO burst out laughing. When the laughter died down, the CEO turned to the waitress. "I'm the one who should thank you," he said.
She looked at CEO's expensive shirt splattered with food stains. She looked at the big half-moons of sweat under his arms. "Why?"
"I spilled coffee into bowls of oatmeal. I dumped scrambled eggs and bacon in one woman's lap. I took the wrong food to the wrong tables. I forgot the syrup and the salsa and the check. I was so bad as a waiter I got desperate. So I used your strategy."
"What's that?"
"I asked for help."
She smiled.
"Only one woman said yes. The one I dumped eggs on. She was great. Hard worker. Good communicator. After the rush finished, we got to talking, and it turns out she's from the tech world too. In fact, I liked her so much I asked her to apply for a management position at my company."
"Because she's good at waiting tables?" said the waitress.
"Because she understands that asking for help and offering help are two of the best ways to do business. Because she can see that relationships are created through giving and receiving service."
The waitress nodded.
"Now can I get you a little something to eat?" The CEO stood, draped a napkin over his arm and winked.
"Depends," she said. "If I let you dump eggs on me, will you offer me a job?"
Some people think politicians are feces-tious.
Some people think politicians are feces-tious.
BWAHAHAHA! Love it!
Some people think politicians are feces-tious.
BWAHAHAHA! Love it!
...and political humor is even more so.
Love may make the world turn around, but humor lubricates the bearings.
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