Author Topic: Teledildonics — build your dream (virtual) sex machine (Read 41,963 times)

zridling · « **on:** October 28, 2007, 10:22 PM »

Maybe you've heard of Teledildonics, maybe not. But as porn has always been on the cutting edge of internet tech, virtual sex is already here in some forms. Don't laugh, blogs like Slashdong are serious about this. I'm not sure virtual sex will ever replace companionship (Tron won't cut it), but I still say when the Holodeck becomes fully functional, I won't ever come out. Here's my original ideas on the topic:

or maybe instead of sex, I'd just use it to look for the best piece of cake over and over and over:

Darwin · « **Reply #1 on:** October 29, 2007, 12:05 AM »

Slashdong?! Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kind of hard to say, read, or write that with a straight face. Straight - no pun intended (Darwin smirks, but winds up blowing a raspberry before snorting loudly and then collapsing on the floor. Sadly, only he is laughing... Wife looks on with evident displeasure).

Ralf Maximus · « **Reply #2 on:** October 29, 2007, 01:38 AM »

Hmmmm... Is there a teledildonics API?

Find And Rape Robot anyone?

Armando · « **Reply #3 on:** October 29, 2007, 03:18 AM »

Quote from: Ralf Maximus on October 29, 2007, 01:38 AM

Find And Rape Robot anyone?

... I can see other ones coming...

Grorgy · « **Reply #4 on:** October 29, 2007, 03:23 AM »

many a new use for screenshot captor too

tinjaw · « **Reply #5 on:** October 30, 2007, 01:43 AM »

If they sell it as shareware I hope they wash it before they share it.

Darwin · « **Reply #6 on:** October 30, 2007, 04:42 AM »

Quote from: tinjaw on October 30, 2007, 01:43 AM

If they sell it as shareware I hope they wash it before they share it.

Armando · « **Reply #7 on:** October 30, 2007, 06:21 AM »

especially if it's sharewear.

Darwin · « **Reply #8 on:** October 30, 2007, 06:33 AM »

Stop, guys, I can't breathe!

tinjaw · « **Reply #9 on:** October 30, 2007, 12:21 PM »

Quote from: Armando on October 30, 2007, 06:21 AM

especially if it's sharewear.

Hah! LOL

The following is rated NC-17. Do not click on this if you are under 18 years of age.

The trial version is good for only three orgasms or thirty days. Whatever cums first.

Ralf Maximus · « **Reply #10 on:** October 30, 2007, 12:31 PM »

I can just see it now...

After a few years the free teledildonics packages gain a foothold in the marketplace. Naturally Microsoft sees another opportunity to develop and sell what's been available for free: Microsoft Sex. Debates erupt comparing free sex with pay-for-sex, with the chief argument being, "why pay for something you can get for free?"

And then Apple delivers iSex, the self-contained PORTABLE version you can carry with you everywhere! And best of all, it doesn't require anyone else! It's sleek and wonderful and reviewers rave that its silky touch and ease-of-use make it so obvious we should have been doing it this way all along.

Soon everyone is having their iSex in public, on planes, in buses, in CLASSROOMS. Authoritarians crack down on it but the people will not be restrained! Soon a revolution rolls through the land, a time of freedom of expression and yes, even universal love.

Then the human race dies out because we're having so much fun we forget to make babies.

tinjaw · « **Reply #11 on:** October 30, 2007, 12:49 PM »

Then there will the hundreds of cheap Asian clones. And coming full circle, once again the center of the sex trade will return to Malaysia.

MikeMcLoughlin · « **Reply #12 on:** October 30, 2007, 02:05 PM »

You'd need good anti-virus protection and I'm not sure I'd be downloading any open-sores software.

tinjaw · « **Reply #13 on:** October 30, 2007, 04:22 PM »

Quote from: MikeMcLoughlin on October 30, 2007, 02:05 PM

open-sores software.

STD = Software Transmitted Disease

PhilB66 · « **Reply #14 on:** October 30, 2007, 04:38 PM »

Is the book Teledildonics Hacks: Tips & Tools for enhanced virtual reality out?

EmporerEJ · « **Reply #15 on:** October 30, 2007, 06:57 PM »

Fellas----

I hate to tell you this, but the future is already here, and arrived some time ago.
The Virtual Sex Machine, the world's first virtual reality sexual simulation system, is available now, and has been available for several years.

Not only do we have a foothold, we are the standard in the marketplace.
You can check it out by going to the website, or even just asking your good friend Google.
Be forewarned: it is most definitely adult, and is NOT for anyone under 18.

VirtualSexMachine.com

EmporerEJ · « **Reply #16 on:** October 31, 2007, 03:09 PM »

Now let me get this right.....
You deleted my post?
It was on point, and was the ONLY LEGAL use of the term Virtual Sex Machine here.
That is our trademark.

p3lb0x · « **Reply #17 on:** October 31, 2007, 03:11 PM »

i think it was because of this http://www.donationcoder.com/forum/index.php?topic=2341.0 rule

EmporerEJ · « **Reply #18 on:** October 31, 2007, 04:14 PM »

Yes, that's all very nice, but I'm not a robot going around promoting my product.

What I AM is the owner of the trademark you all were just using.
But, being the good natured and positive fellow that I am, I certainly don't mind the discussion as long as it includes the actual thing you are talking about.

So, I added it to avoid confusion, to enlighten you all, that the thing you were talking about, actually DOES exist, and HAS existed for seven years now.

See, that's how you avoid "Trademark dilution."
Everybody wins.

EmporerEJ · « **Reply #19 on:** October 31, 2007, 04:15 PM »

Quote from: p3lb0x on October 31, 2007, 03:11 PM

i think it was because of this http://www.donationcoder.com/forum/index.php?topic=2341.0 rule

(But thank you for pointing me to the topic)

mouser · « **Reply #20 on:** October 31, 2007, 05:15 PM »

This thread may have outlived it's usefulness but I just want to note that I think the original post by EmporerEJ was on topic and should not have been deleted. Everyone is right to be on the lookout for spam posts -- but when someone posts a reply to a real topic on the forum, pointing out that they sell a product directly related to the subject matter being discussed, that's not spam. One must always be wary of someone starting a post for the express reason to pretend to mention their product in a reply -- but this clearly wasn't the case here. Just my 2 cents.

tinjaw · « **Reply #21 on:** October 31, 2007, 06:54 PM »

Since Jesse has chimed in, I will speak up. This isn't meant to knock the moderator, but instead to complement EmporerEJ. I read the original post and thought it was a great example of the proper way to add direct input from a vendor. The post was on topic, succinct, and struck a fine balance between informing potential adult customers about a taboo subject on a family-friendly forum. Enough information was provided for an adult to find EmporerEJ's website without posting a graphic image or a direct link. Often "first post"s from a vendor injecting themselves into a thread are a spewing of marketing propaganda several paragraphs long that could have been said in a few sentences and a link.

Ralf Maximus · « **Reply #22 on:** October 31, 2007, 07:31 PM »

Quote from: tinjaw on October 31, 2007, 06:54 PM

I read the original post and thought it was a great example of the proper way to add direct input from a vendor. The post was on topic, succinct, and struck a fine balance between informing potential adult customers about a taboo subject on a family-friendly forum.

Hear, hear.

Plus, bonus points for injecting the word "teledildonics" into a real conversation.

jgpaiva · « **Reply #23 on:** October 31, 2007, 11:17 PM »

I was the mod who deleted the post.
I'm very sorry, but i understood it as a spam post, not related to the original topic. Sorry, but sex-related posts advertising some kind of products are usually spam and i didn't read the post correctly.

Again, very sorry EmporerEJ. Maybe there is a way to get the post back to this thread?

mouser · « **Reply #24 on:** October 31, 2007, 11:33 PM »

Thanks for the post jgpaiva, every forum on the internet should be so lucky to have such conscientious, reasonable, and alert people watching out for it. I was asked recently by someone how on earth it was possible that there is so little spam on our forum when it seems to run rampant everywhere. The answer is that we have great people like jgpaiva watching over the forum and removing spam posts before they take root. So don't for a minute think that such work is unappreciated.

I have restored the post.

Now let's move on from this crazy topic!