I found these 2 reviews over at Reflexive. Both are from the same person, cirruspaxton. I guess they appeal to my particular sense of humour. Anyone have anything else like this? 
1.) Review of Jewel Match:
Finally, something new!
With all these "been there, done that" games coming out recently, like Gumboy Crazy Adventures, Gish, Zombie Smashers X2, Mexican Motor Mafia, and the like... it's nice to FINALLY see something brand new hit the Reflexive scene.
Matching jewels to clear the screen? How refeshing and new! I can't wait to put this on my Christmas list. It's a long way off, but from the looks of this game so far, it'll be worth the wait.
I'll be buying this ASAP. Developers, listen up: what we need are more games like this! Lining up some jewels, maybe smashing them, and so forth. It's the stuff of legends, and it's never been done before. Get to it!
Edit: Please understand that everything I wrote above was pure sarcasm. Right down to the "been there, done that" games I mentioned. (hahah, as if it wasn't obvious, but the writer came back and added this edit. Hilarious!)
2.) Review of Pirates of the Atlantic:
Sometimes I wonder...
I've seen better games on free flash sites. Really. Do yourself a favor and avoid this game entirely. I've seen games next to the comics in the newspaper with more content and depth. You basically shoot cannonballs at oncoming ships, and buy "upgrades." Oh, don't forget the awesome rank system, which just gives you a rank-up every time you beat a wave of ships and airships. Somehow, it sounds more interesting when I'm writing it than when actually playing it. How in the world can they even think of charging 20 dollars for this? Actually, download this and give it a shot. Spend your trial getting everything that there is out of the game, be ashamed, and then post a review begging people not to buy this game for their children. Getting this as a gift would ruin Christmas. (This brought tears to my eyes!
)
1.) Review of Jewel Match:
Finally, something new!
With all these "been there, done that" games coming out recently, like Gumboy Crazy Adventures, Gish, Zombie Smashers X2, Mexican Motor Mafia, and the like... it's nice to FINALLY see something brand new hit the Reflexive scene.
Matching jewels to clear the screen? How refeshing and new! I can't wait to put this on my Christmas list. It's a long way off, but from the looks of this game so far, it'll be worth the wait.
I'll be buying this ASAP. Developers, listen up: what we need are more games like this! Lining up some jewels, maybe smashing them, and so forth. It's the stuff of legends, and it's never been done before. Get to it!
Edit: Please understand that everything I wrote above was pure sarcasm. Right down to the "been there, done that" games I mentioned. (hahah, as if it wasn't obvious, but the writer came back and added this edit. Hilarious!)
2.) Review of Pirates of the Atlantic:
Sometimes I wonder...
I've seen better games on free flash sites. Really. Do yourself a favor and avoid this game entirely. I've seen games next to the comics in the newspaper with more content and depth. You basically shoot cannonballs at oncoming ships, and buy "upgrades." Oh, don't forget the awesome rank system, which just gives you a rank-up every time you beat a wave of ships and airships. Somehow, it sounds more interesting when I'm writing it than when actually playing it. How in the world can they even think of charging 20 dollars for this? Actually, download this and give it a shot. Spend your trial getting everything that there is out of the game, be ashamed, and then post a review begging people not to buy this game for their children. Getting this as a gift would ruin Christmas. (This brought tears to my eyes!
)