How to think, act and live better - great books and other material!

[brotherS]

I originally replied in http://www.donationcoder.com/forum/index.php?topic=6146 and then split the topic. If you read a book that changed your life in the best meaning of the phrase, please share what you know!

Please don't just post the book name, post the Amazon link (like I did below for Radical Honesty), so that we can check its ratings and reviews easily. Thanks!

the inspiration that I've been looking for to help get out of the rut that I feel I've been in lately, and to make some major improvements in my lifestyle.  Highly recommend for anyone looking to do more positive things in and with their life. 

Along those lines I also recommend you buy the book Radical Honesty. Not an easy read but well worth the time invested!

[tomos]

Along those lines I also recommend you buy the book Radical Honesty. Not an easy read but well worth the time invested!

brotherS, any chance you could tell us something about the book?
thanks, tom

[brotherS]

Along those lines I also recommend you buy the book Radical Honesty. Not an easy read but well worth the time invested!

brotherS, any chance you could tell us something about the book?

Sure, let me just quote Beth Hartford's excellent review:

Whenever I pick this book up off the bookshelf I am reminded of the Jack Nicholsons character in A Few Good Men where he says "The Truth? You cant handle the truth!". This is an in your face book that will make some people terribly uncomfortable. People who are afraid of honesty. I believe that while many people will say they want the truth that when they hear it they are livid. Truth hurts. And I admit that I have a double standard with myself when it comes to truth. Most of the time I speak my mind and say what I believe. But I also admit that I also deflect questions from some people whom experience has shown me cannot handle the truth, simply because I don't need the nonsense in my life.
And I admit that I winced when I first saw the books title and then became intrigued when I heard him speak on a variety of radio and television shows. So I bought the book and am glad. And yes it is heavily politically incorrect in an era where pushing and enabling the whole woe is me victim mode is so popular.

One of my favorite parts of this book and advise that I believe more people need to take is where the author writes on page 179" Many of the people who go to therapists or physicians seeking relief are tired. They are tired from having worked out their lives in such a way that they get worn out instead of recharged by living. When someone like this takes responsibility for exercise, nutrition, and rest, a number of their "psychological" problems disappear. The human body has a wonderful capacity to restore itself it is given a break from abuse and a chance to rest. Wellness is a natural state of being for people who have learned how to get out of their own way. "

On page 185 the author notes wisely that "What happens when therapy works and keeps on working is that people want to learn about how to stay well. They become interested in living in the world by constantly renewing their leases on life rather than by being lost in their minds. They can do that best within the context of a sustaining community of other people in the same boat--people who have created wellness and are committed to maintaining wellness."

On page 187 he shares that most people don't take care of themselves out of knowing they should. That there was a man who was told by his physician to lose 15 lbs but didn't and in fact gained 10 more pounds and was told at his next doctors visit by the doctor "If you aren't willing to take care of yourself, why in the hell should I?". That it took having a heart attack that could have been prevented for the man to change. Dr Blanton then wisely notes that "learning to take care of ourselves creatively rather than resentfully is a big step in growing up".

On page 212 Dr Blanton notes "Responsibility means that whatever you are doing, you are willing to experience yourself as the cause. You are the source of your troubles as well as your successes." "As long as you are blaming, explaining, apologizing, trying, resolving to be good, hoping or feeling guilty, you are not being responsible." On page 215 "To get back in touch with who you are when you have been lost in your mind is to get back to your source. This is hard to do. You have to die to live."

[tomos]

jeez,
there's enough in that review alone to keep a body thinking a while 

..
"learning to take care of ourselves creatively rather than resentfully is a big step in growing up"
...
"As long as you are blaming, explaining, apologizing, trying, resolving to be good, hoping or feeling guilty, you are not being responsible."
..

(my italics)

p.s. thanks brotherS

[nudone]

books that changed my life:

A Brief History of Time by S.W. Hawking http://www.amazon.co.uk/Brief-History-Time-Black-Holes/dp/0553175211/sr=1-2/qid=1167998174/ref=sr_1_2/202-6750647-0951050?ie=UTF8&s=books
i pretty much hated the idea of reading books because of what i was forced to read at school. i then picked this up in my early twenties and realised i was a complete moron and that there were people out there that knew things i couldn't even imagine.

The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins http://www.amazon.co.uk/Selfish-Gene-Richard-Dawkins/dp/0199291152/sr=8-1/qid=1167998085/ref=pd_ka_1/202-6750647-0951050?ie=UTF8&s=books
after being introduced to the marvelous world of popular science by mr. hawking i then read dozens more by popular science authors. reading the selfish gene was not unlike being woken from a dream - or to be more dramatic - like the scene in 'the matrix' when neo discovers things aren't quite what he thought they were.

Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell http://www.amazon.co.uk/1984-Nineteen-Eighty-Four-George-Orwell/dp/014118776X/sr=1-1/qid=1167998605/ref=sr_1_1/202-6750647-0951050?ie=UTF8&s=books
i don't read many novels but this is one i read at school. i think it fair to say it shaped my view on the world from that point on.

[brotherS]

books that changed my life:

A Brief History of Time by S.W. Hawking http://www.amazon.co.uk/Brief-History-Time-Black-Holes/dp/0553175211/sr=1-2/qid=1167998174/ref=sr_1_2/202-6750647-0951050?ie=UTF8&s=books

I thought about reading it a few times, maybe I will some day.

i pretty much hated the idea of reading books because of what i was forced to read at school.

Crappy teacher(s) Luckily I started to enjoy reading books before I had to read them in school, some of what we had to read wasn't that good...

i then picked this up in my early twenties and realised i was a complete moron and that there were people out there that knew things i couldn't even imagine.

Be thankful you got 'the wake-up call' early in life. Too many never get it. 

The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins http://www.amazon.co.uk/Selfish-Gene-Richard-Dawkins/dp/0199291152/sr=8-1/qid=1167998085/ref=pd_ka_1/202-6750647-0951050?ie=UTF8&s=books
after being introduced to the marvelous world of popular science by mr. hawking i then read dozens more by popular science authors. reading the selfish gene was not unlike being woken from a dream - or to be more dramatic - like the scene in 'the matrix' when neo discovers things aren't quite what he thought they were.

Ha! Thanks, I forgot about this one, someone else recommended it to me once. I ordered it now (one minute ago)!

Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell http://www.amazon.co.uk/1984-Nineteen-Eighty-Four-George-Orwell/dp/014118776X/sr=1-1/qid=1167998605/ref=sr_1_1/202-6750647-0951050?ie=UTF8&s=books
i don't read many novels but this is one i read at school. i think it fair to say it shaped my view on the world from that point on.

Yes, I bet that's awesome, I only saw the (really good) movie.

I'm directly looking at >4000 unread book pages piled up next to me (I wonder why Amazon doesn't yet send me xmas presents  ).

[Deozaan]

Along those lines, I'd have to say that The Real America by Glenn Beck changed my life.

Book Description
There are some things people think but don't say....

"Political correctness is the classic Great Idea Gone Wrong. All it's done is shut us up. It hasn't changed anybody's mind. It hasn't changed our hearts. It's changed our faces. It's taken every opinion we have, it's taken every joke we have, and it's forced us to conceal it and hide it and bury it. It's made us superficial."

"Terrorism isn't caused by poverty, poverty is caused by terrorism. Terror is a tool used by those seeking power to keep the masses in need of an answer."

"Too many people blame everything on everybody else, and because they do, they will expect too little from themselves and too little from their children."

Glenn Beck says all that, and more.

The way he opens the book (if my memory serves me) is how it is hard to find people that are real. How we've all become superficial. His great example is the contrast in how many people behaved on September 10th, 2001 to how people behaved on September 12th, 2001. On the 12th people really wanted to know when they asked someone how they were doing. They really wanted to find a way to help and be the real people they are inside--caring human beings--instead of having a 3-foot thick pane of plexi-glass between themselves and the next person.

It's changed my life in learning how to really be honest with others and myself. It's changed my life in not buying into what Hollywood and the Media and what Politics tell me life is like. It's changed me from trying to fit in with the crowd into being happy as someone who is unlike the majority of others trying to fit the image the world makes up for them.

I'd recommend this book to anyone.

[zridling]

I've read most of the classics, and while In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust* is my favorite novel, Martin Heidegger's Being and Time and Alfred North Whitehead's Process and Reality had the biggest impact on my thinking for the rest of my life. Both books seemed to explain everyday life and the cosmos in ways that were true to my experience.

* Proust's masterpiece can also be downloaded free at the Online Books Page.

[brotherS]

I just stumbled upon a great quote that nicely fits this topic:

Of all the things that can have an effect on your future, I believe personal growth is the greatest. We can talk about sales growth, profit growth, asset growth, but all of this probably will not happen without personal growth.
-- Jim Rohn

[urlwolf]

I've read most of the classics, and while In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust* is my favorite novel, Martin Heidegger's Being and Time and Alfred North Whitehead's Process and Reality had the biggest impact on my thinking for the rest of my life. Both books seemed to explain everyday life and the cosmos in ways that were true to my experience.

* Proust's masterpiece can also be downloaded free at the Online Books Page.

Hi Zaine,

It seems that 'in search of lost time' is not available in that site

Thanks for the recommendations.

[brotherS]

Another book I highly recommend is *As a Man Thinketh*!

You can get it for free at http://www.asamanthinketh.net/ (they just want your email address but they look like good guys). If that's too much for you, Amazon will gladly ship it to you for a few bucks: http://www.amazon.com/As-Man-Thinketh-James-Allen/dp/087516000X

"I have personally read As a Man Thinketh over 25 times. Timeless material." -  Mark Victor Hansen, co-author, the Chicken Soup books

“I read As a Man Thinketh once a year for over 15 years when I was in my 20s and 30s.” - Paul J. Meyer, recognized as one of the leading self-improvement authors of all time

“Some books are so good and meaningful that you read them again and again. Primarily because you know the substance and content is so important that you need to be reminded of what it has to say. As A Man Thinketh, by James Allen is just such a book.”  -    Book Review, Michigan Chronicle

[brotherS]

Another great article is *How Shall We Live?* (http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/06/the-meaning-of-life-how-shall-we-live/) from our much-loved Steve Pavlina. Beware, contains lots of great thinking!

PS: Although I recognize that DC is mostly about software, I still find it interesting to see the low number of replies in this thread...

[brotherS]

Another book I highly recommend is *As a Man Thinketh*!

You can get it for free at http://www.asamanthinketh.net/ (they just want your email address but they look like good guys). If that's too much for you, Amazon will gladly ship it to you for a few bucks: http://www.amazon.com/As-Man-Thinketh-James-Allen/dp/087516000X

"I have personally read As a Man Thinketh over 25 times. Timeless material." -  Mark Victor Hansen, co-author, the Chicken Soup books

“I read As a Man Thinketh once a year for over 15 years when I was in my 20s and 30s.” - Paul J. Meyer, recognized as one of the leading self-improvement authors of all time

“Some books are so good and meaningful that you read them again and again. Primarily because you know the substance and content is so important that you need to be reminded of what it has to say. As A Man Thinketh, by James Allen is just such a book.”  -    Book Review, Michigan Chronicle

Almost 2 years later, here's an update:

I feel awesome these days, and I partly credit As a Man Thinketh (AAMT) for that fact. Not much unlike Mark Victor Hansen (see quote above), I've been through it (reading it or listening to the audio book version) about 20 times now (the fact that it's rather short helps), it's the only book I ever read more than 3 times. Very powerful.

I recommended AAMT quite frequently over the last years, and of those who followed my recommendation (and told me about it), 100% thanked me later.

So... if you want more happiness and less suffering in your life, read it. If you are happy with the amount of suffering you got going for you, don't.

[Edvard]

Books that changed my life: (i'll leave out the religious stuff...)

Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television
A dry read, but as relevant today as it was in 1977 when it was written. I read it in 1988 and never watched television again.

Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business
More of the same, but an easier read.

I also recommend almost anything by Neil Postman, Marshall McLuhanand Umberto Eco.
Notice I said "almost" and I didn't mention Chomsky (his stuff on linguistics is interesting, but I disagree with his politico-social philosophy) or the larger topic of Semiotics.

Also, Robert Anton Wilson's Cosmic Trigger, which probably had the opposite effect on me than the author intended...

[ewemoa]

You can get it for free at http://www.asamanthinketh.net/ (they just want your email address but they look like good guys). If that's too much for you, Amazon will gladly ship it to you for a few bucks: http://www.amazon.com/As-Man-Thinketh-James-Allen/dp/087516000X

FWIW, I noticed a Wikipedia page for the book and found a couple of links there to free digital versions:

http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/4507
http://www.favourbank.eu/as_a_man_thinketh/