Badly explain your occupation

[Edvard]

I've seen this game on another forum, who got it from Facebook, but it's such fun I thought I'd bring it here.
I suppose guessing other's descriptions would be fun too...
---------------------
My job:
People come to me and ask me to take some 0s and 1s and stick them on paper, or they already have a paper and they want another just like it. I have a couple of machines that help me do that. Sometimes I take the papers and stick them all together on one edge. Sometimes the paper comes out of the machine with pictures on it, other times it's a bunch of words. Other people keep telling me that someday I will no longer do this job, because tiny lights arranged on a flat surface is better than paper, but for some reason people keep coming to me asking me to put stuff on paper. This amuses me.

Yours?

[mouser]

hahahhaha that's good.

[Shades]

@Edvard:
If that is entertaining to you, then you should try the 'Cards against Humanity' card game...with a set of good friends, of course. The time I played that, I found it to be more fun than I cared to admit. But I was with a crowd that appreciate the 'a dirty mind is a joy forever' mindset.

Mixing and matching words, concepts and sentences that any sane and/or p.c. person would never dare to combine...shouldn't be that funny. 

[Edvard]

@Edvard:
If that is entertaining to you, then you should try the 'Cards against Humanity' card game...with a set of good friends, of course. The time I played that, I found it to be more fun than I cared to admit. But I was with a crowd that appreciate the 'a dirty mind is a joy forever' mindset.

Mixing and matching words, concepts and sentences that any sane and/or p.c. person would never dare to combine...shouldn't be that funny. 

I've seen a few CAH shots.  Looks somewhat entertaining, and probably would have been hilarious when I was in high school.  These days not so much.
So, what do you do for a living?

[tomos]

hmmm,
this may seem pretty esoteric, but it is difficult to explain anyways, and I want to make y'all work a bit ;-)

some people root around in the ground and try to shrink what they see -- they give me the shrunken versions and I try to make them look nice.

a little more

some people root around in the ground and try to shrink what they see on paper -- they give me the shrunken versions and I try to make them look nice.

[cranioscopical]

Achieved my ideal role, I'm a nilhighist.

[tomos]

I'm a nilhighist

smokes dope and believes in nothing?

edit// on second thought, no -- that would be a nihighlist

[MilesAhead]

Achieved my ideal role, I'm a nilhighist.

Hmm, would that be an Egyptian Riverboat Gambler? 

[Edvard]

hmmm,
this may seem pretty esoteric, but it is difficult to explain anyways, and I want to make y'all work a bit ;-)

some people root around in the ground and try to shrink what they see -- they give me the shrunken versions and I try to make them look nice.

a little more

some people root around in the ground and try to shrink what they see on paper -- they give me the shrunken versions and I try to make them look nice.

Hey! I used to make those shrunken papers!  With my machines!  On paper! 

[Edvard]

Here's another one from waaaaaaay back in my employment history:

Some people like to be boldly reminded of who they are, where they are, or where they are going.  People paid me to use paint and large pieces of wood to remind themselves and others of the same things.  It was a good job.  Nowadays, annoying flags on the computer do the same job, so much so that people tend to ignore them.  I find this amusing.

[tomos]

they give me the shrunken versions and I try to make them look nice.

yeah,
and then I give them to someone like you who

take some 0s and 1s and stick them on paper

although -- no,
I give them to someone who arranges all those 0's and 1's and other 0's and 1's according to how someone else wants,
and then it goes to you.

PS I havent figured out your last one yet...

[app103]

I used to be an unpaid freelance content generation consultant, and I also used to get paid to give away other people's free stuff, which I still do both (part time), but most of my time is now spent sitting on my butt at home, making angry, confused, and/or frustrated people happy, sometimes with gifts containing collections of letters, numbers, and noisy moving pictures, that by looking at them (in the correct order) could potentially make them smarter, and fill their pockets with pictures of dead people.

[Stoic Joker]

I negotiate truces between unhappy people, and the "cruel" machines that hurt their feelings. Sadly I frequently have to side with the machines during these negotiations, because many of the people are stupid.

[4wd]

I negotiate truces between unhappy people, and the "cruel" machines that hurt their feelings. Sadly I frequently have to side with the machines during these negotiations, because many of the people are stupid.

Technician!

[Stoic Joker]

I negotiate truces between unhappy people, and the "cruel" machines that hurt their feelings. Sadly I frequently have to side with the machines during these negotiations, because many of the people are stupid.

Technician!

Worse actually, Admin ... So I have to field lunacy from both the floor and the brass. At this point I really am slowly turning into the BOFH from The Register's long running story series. Because around here the brass doesn't quite seem to grasp the idea that you don't always get the best work out of people when you scream at them. You see while I am notoriously (stoic...) soft spoken, and am therefore disinclined towards shouting matches ... I am also rather disinclined towards losing...and everything has a cost...

[tomos]

and fill their pockets with pictures of dead people.

lol, took me a bit to figure that one out

[wraith808]

I make plans for long term business needs, but we rarely follow the plan, because their needs change often.  I also try to interpret what these same people need, even while they try to convince me that their view of doing what they need to do is right, instead of telling me exactly what they need to do.  I fail, as much as I succeed, but that's OK, because in most cases when we get it done, they realize that I was right, though they never admit that.  So we do the work again.  Now they have a way to break things down so that they 'fail fast' and are more willing to do things the right way first, but they still don't listen most of the time, and complain when things are done exactly how they said they wanted.

[Stoic Joker]

Now they have a way to break things down so that they 'fail fast' and are more willing to do things the right way first, but they still don't listen most of the time, and complain when things are done exactly how they said they wanted.

I think we have the same job..

[Edvard]

...
PS I havent figured out your last one yet...

Sign painter. 

[wraith808]

Now they have a way to break things down so that they 'fail fast' and are more willing to do things the right way first, but they still don't listen most of the time, and complain when things are done exactly how they said they wanted.

I think we have the same job..

Same direction, different function.

[TaoPhoenix]

I reported that Firefox gives me a warning on DC's password login saying it's not secure, and asked for what to think about it, whether I should just trust that mouser is a legend in our time and ignore it, or if it's a valid to do item he's already working on.

(No really, that was the kind of thing I did a lot at my old job!)

[rgdot]

Not sure if you know the answer already or not but any non httpS Firefox will give that warning, any such site, no exceptions.

[TaoPhoenix]

Not sure if you know the answer already or not but any non httpS Firefox will give that warning, any such site, no exceptions.

I didn't, and I haven't been around the tech scene for a while at all. : (
So interesting to know, my opinion of said thing unclear.