Author Topic: Do you Suffer from Computer Anger Management - How do you handle it? (Read 25,637 times)

mouser · « **on:** May 04, 2006, 12:52 AM »

I know this isn't strictly a computer issue, but i have serious computer anger/frustration management issues.
i get so frustrated with a programming bug or issue that i feel like i am losing my mind and the slightest inconvenience seems to set me over the edge.

Anyone have any tips to beating this affliction?
How do you handle it?

I generally curse and scream like mad and once had the neighbors come over thinking i was assaulting someone. I had to explain I was just a programmer.

But I don't really like getting so mad and aggravated and I'm looking for a solution.

Rover · « **Reply #1 on:** May 04, 2006, 12:56 AM »

Oh please make sure you post if you find one.

I had to write a fairly complex program as a job interview... I was given two weeks and invented some colorful new curses during that time.

Then I got the job and eventually invented a few more... maybe that's why I stopped programming...

Redhat · « **Reply #2 on:** May 04, 2006, 01:01 AM »

I think the answer may be to have some kind of action-plan in place for when you come across something frustrating

In life, I get very frustrated, and angry at myself for some reasons (probably not best to go into here...) which actually have a severe effect on my mental state..

The way I deal with it, is by having a plan-of-action (written, if you want!) where if I feel the anger building, I immediately - STOP - and look after myself. Meditation is the normal for me, oriental music with incense and just relaxing - it's perfect for me! Some may call me whacky, and I'm sure the docs would agree

Most of all, remember a program seems insignificant when you consider there are more things that are significantly more worthy of stress

Cpilot · « **Reply #3 on:** May 04, 2006, 03:32 AM »

One word,

Beer

Works for me.

Carol Haynes · « **Reply #4 on:** May 04, 2006, 10:04 AM »

Easy to say - hard to do .... go and do something else for a while that demands your full attention ... preferably physical.

Hanging off rock climbs (either real cliffs or climbing walls) focuses the mind and lets you swear at something else for a while!

jgpaiva · « **Reply #5 on:** May 04, 2006, 10:42 AM »

I can understand you, i also have a few freakouts with programming sometimes. The solution? I handle it in a few different ways:

I surf this forum, and post a few replys.
I do coding snacks.
I go to the DC irc channel and i condemn the language i try to get a few opinions on how bad the language i'm programmin is (this works perfectly with lisp )
Or, the most effective of them all, I stop for a bit, let the computer quiet, put good music, and think deeply about my problem, until i find an acceptable solution to the problem.

I'm not a very nervous person, the main thing that gets me mad is when my professors do some sh*ts, like having me doing stuff i never learned, or giving me incomplete homework assignments, that i have to guess out what they want me to do.

Edvard · « **Reply #6 on:** May 04, 2006, 04:14 PM »

I admire your confession, Mouser. I hear that's the first step - admitting you have a problem.

I would have to agree with Carol. Make a conscious decision to just get up and go do something else for a while, preferably physical. Something you've NEVER done before. Miniature golf, rock climbing (plenty of indoor climbing gyms about these days and they're relatively inexpensive), fishing, etc. Go get a shovel and dig a hole as deep as you dare in your backyard. (Wait, the neighbors might get REALLY suspicious... Keep it in mind, though.) Something some of my bored bike messenger friends in Seattle did a few years back was to find a tall building (five floors or more) and see how far you could get up by stairs without encountering a locked door or a security guard. Some of those have awesome views if you find a hall window...

app103 · « **Reply #7 on:** May 04, 2006, 05:20 PM »

Well, I don't have any anger management tips for programmers, as I don't get angry when I get frustrated...I cry instead....and become even more frustrated and can't think clearly.

The idea of doing coding snacks is a good one...I usually will stop and do something else like graphics, code a web page, go make a cup of tea, clean my house.

When I come back I generally can think better and solve whatever was the problem, or at least think clearly enough to be able to make some sort of progress.

I am not a programming pro...still pretty much a newbie and the frustration sometimes gets bad enough that I wonder what I even like about programming and why I even try.

I can fully understand why my dad gave it up and why he says he hates computers. If you are not coding because you love it and are just doing it for the money, you can't keep at it. Sooner or later you will crack and give up.

Someone once told me that a real programmer is about 70% control freak. Frustration is a sign of not being in control and as a control freak you are not going to like it or handle it very well. But if you can manage to get past it and solve whatever problem was causing the frustration, you get a high that is unlike any drug in the world...and usually the high you get is in direct proportion to the amount of frustration you feel. The greater the frustration, the greater the high once the problem is solved....and that's why you love it so much and are a programmer.

zridling · « **Reply #8 on:** May 04, 2006, 07:33 PM »

The Buddha would say that you must learn to detach from that which produces your anger, and that which makes you angry is your greatest teacher at that moment — telling you that you need patience, temperance, and solitude.

And when that doesn't work, I curse like my dad used to. Cursing at the top of my lungs at myself and the object of my anger is the only thing that seems to calm me down. And if that doesn't work, I give up, withdraw, and abandon the whole thing in favor of watching a romantic or sentimental movie.

I'm a 44-year old man who lives in a basement, so it's definitely working for me!

Gothi[c] · « **Reply #9 on:** May 04, 2006, 07:54 PM »

zridling is right

Computers require patience and lots of it. I'm a very patient person, and I never get frustrated with my computer, even when it completely breaks down and doesn't turn on. I just lift my butt, open the case, and fix it, and then continue my work.

In some bad cases the 'fix it' part takes a few hours, sometimes it takes a few days, sometimes it requires replacing parts, but in the end everything always turns out ok.

We have to remember, that computers are, essentially, nothing but scrap metal, so why get all worked up over that?

No matter what my physical meatbody is doing at the moment, or my brain is working on, I'm always present, and it's that presence which is continual throughout everything I do. Feel comfortable and happy with that presence, and nothing from the outside world can bother you.

This Presence is the undefinable thing that exists beyond the physical, mental and emotional body. It is the 4th body which overshadows them all. Depending on where your daily focus is within these 4 bodies, you will react differently. Some people are mostly emotionally focused, others are mostly mentally focused (scientists?), others are mostly physically focused (body builders?). Most people's normal focus will be a mix of all of these. But the 4th one, P R E S E N C E, is always overlooked!
If you were to put them in a scale from low to high (eventhough such linearity is not accurate) you'd get

- physical
- emotional
- mental
- PRESENCE

the mental can control the emotional and physical, the emotional can cause physical reactions, it also works the other way around, and they all interact, but the last one is omnipresent, and affects them all. You're there!

Imagine being happy that you're there, all the time, regardless of the state of the physical, emotional, and mental!

Now that's detatchment, baby

- end of rant -

Rover · « **Reply #10 on:** May 04, 2006, 09:06 PM »

OK, I really knew the answer to this all along, but I wanted to see what everyone else had to say first

Anyway, the reason for your anger is based in frustration at being able to complete/accomplish something. Why is that a big deal? Because most of us derive our sense of worth from being able to "do a good job" and/or "create a good thing."

The reason most programmers program, especially the OS guys, is for the sense of accomplishment when you get it done and it's good. When it's not done and not good, you feel the opposite of good.

Since we all want to feel good, we try to get something done. When we are frustrated in our attempts, we miss feelling good and get mad at the cause of the thing that is keeping us from feeling good. (follow that?) The thing is either the Operating system, the language, the environment (computer), the project itself, or sometimes we blame ourselves.

It's all very simple really. Don't make me not feel good and I'll be happy

My psych rate is $150/hour w/ 1/2 hour min. Please send $$

zridling · « **Reply #11 on:** May 04, 2006, 09:49 PM »

Rover made me think of this unattributed quote, which has always rang true to my experience:

Frustration is a function of expectation.

I don't "notice" the hammer until it breaks. I don't pay any attention to the car until it fails to start. So it must be with programming. Once the intractable bug appears, suddenly my perspective toward the program is inexorably changed.

mouser · « **Reply #12 on:** May 04, 2006, 10:06 PM »

Quote

The Buddha would say that you must learn to detach from that which produces your anger, and that which makes you angry is your greatest teacher at that moment — telling you that you need patience, temperance, and solitude.

i love this approach and will try to remember it.

Quote

The way I deal with it, is by having a plan-of-action (written, if you want!) where if I feel the anger building, I immediately - STOP - and look after myself.

also sounds like a really nice idea - a plan of action when getting frustrated. maybe ill post a little list next to my monitor.

Quote

Cursing at the top of my lungs at myself and the object of my anger is the only thing that seems to calm me down.

yes - you see this is what i have learned as well, and it's part of the problem. it's like tourrettes syndrome, or scratching an itch - sometimes it feels like screaming at top of your lungs is the only way to release the frustration. i have a feeling that by the time it builds up to that point there is no other solution. the answer must be to reprogram yourself not to get to that high frustration level point. there is some "pleasure" in getting mad, and it's almost like part of the brain WANTS to get to that point.

i'm also a big believer in the idea that general stress affects everything and makes me quicker to jump the gun on things, so maybe taking care of other stressors is a good general approach.

Renegade · « **Reply #13 on:** May 05, 2006, 06:39 AM »

Quote from: Cpilot on May 04, 2006, 03:32 AM

One word,

Beer

Works for me.

AMEN~! Nothing like coding when you're half-lit to take the edge off of a nasty bug!

Unfortunately, this doesn't work at the day job, where I just f&^*ing curse like a madman under my breath and every once in a while let one rip out loud.

Being as people here are generally quite quiet with things like that, I'm sure most of my co-workers think I'm a bipolar, insane, and quite dangerous. Which is very far from the truth.

I have VERY little patience for computer problems. Things are just supposed to work right and I get really p!ssed when they don't. Sometimes I just go off and start coding my own solution so that things work right for those things where it won't take me too long.

rjbull · « **Reply #14 on:** May 05, 2006, 08:43 AM »

Quote from: mouser on May 04, 2006, 10:06 PM

sometimes it feels like screaming at top of your lungs is the only way to release the frustration. i have a feeling that by the time it builds up to that point there is no other solution.

Remember the Smack-A-Mac? It was a small imitation Apple Macintosh made out of foam rubber. Normally it stood on top your monitor. Whenever you felt the circumstances were right, you took it off, punched it, jumped up and down on it, threw it against the wall, and then you put it back again...

jgpaiva · « **Reply #15 on:** May 05, 2006, 11:08 AM »

Quote from: rjbull on May 05, 2006, 08:43 AM

Remember the Smack-A-Mac?

Where can i get one of those??

[edit]found it!

[/edit]

Carol Haynes · « **Reply #16 on:** May 05, 2006, 11:38 AM »

Actually in the days Apple made those kind of Macs you needed something like that just as a user. All the Macphiles loved them but I never seemed to be able to use one for more than about 5 minutes without getting an "Apple Bomb" with a cryptic undocumented error code (a bit like Windows BSODS). It didn't help I had to act as support for an AppleTalk network - troubleshooting the things was a nightmare!

momonan · « **Reply #17 on:** May 05, 2006, 12:33 PM »

I know you all remember this one, but I still enjoy it. http://www.2flashgames.com/f/f-Bash-the-Computer-2260.htm

app103 · « **Reply #18 on:** May 05, 2006, 07:02 PM »

In my chatroom we had a sort of joke going on related to programming frustration...It's kind of an ad for a ficticious product we all wished existed...and if I could manufacture it I would be a very wealthy woman:

Programming project misbehaving?
Unexplainable errors?
Hit it with a Syntax Stick™!
That's right...for only $19.95 you can own a Syntax Stick™ and beat that program into submission and show it who is boss. Act now and we'll throw in a Spelling Stick™ for half price. Very handy for beating the typos out of your keyboard.

Redhat · « **Reply #19 on:** May 05, 2006, 07:24 PM »

Quote from: app103 on May 05, 2006, 07:02 PM

In my chatroom we had a sort of joke going on related to programming frustration...It's kind of an ad for a ficticious product we all wished existed...and if I could manufacture it I would be a very wealthy woman:

Programming project misbehaving?
Unexplainable errors?
Hit it with a Syntax Stick™!
That's right...for only $19.95 you can own a Syntax Stick™ and beat that program into submission and show it who is boss. Act now and we'll throw in a Spelling Stick™ for half price. Very handy for beating the typos out of your keyboard.

mouser · « **Reply #20 on:** May 05, 2006, 08:13 PM »

heheheh

Rover · « **Reply #21 on:** May 05, 2006, 09:47 PM »

Another great stress reliever -- especially if you have employees -- is Whip the Worker

http://www.antongraphics.com/gamesinteractive/interactive/interactive3.htm

Try the c button really fast, you get nice back and forth beyatch slap going. See if you can make him ask about the white out problem....

jgpaiva · « **Reply #22 on:** May 06, 2006, 12:30 AM »

I think Whip the Worker makes me even more mad, that guy has a dork face, and doesn't get hurt when i punch him (he always returns to the original starte). It's scrary!

mouser · « **Reply #23 on:** May 06, 2006, 01:57 AM »

Quote

I think Whip the Worker makes me even more mad

Rover · « **Reply #24 on:** May 06, 2006, 02:09 AM »

Now there's a challenge for someone... re-create whip the worker but with damage like the computer smasher!

Yeah baby.